As this is a living well, and dressing well with a colostomy blog I have a few notices to give out;
First off, I’ve been off on my first holiday of the year, which was fabulous.
I would say it was a lovely break, but let’s face it, you’d be justified in asking “a break from what exactly?!”
Okay, so me going on holiday is just doing what I do here, but in the sun, or snow, or whatever the weather brings at the location.
While I was away I was browsing the internet, so what’s new? (Like I said, just the location changes).
I ended up on YSL’s website, and thought while I was there I’d peruse the loafers, as I seem to have a small fixation on them currently.
Anyway, while I was looking at them, something struck me, a sense of deja-vu.
And it dawned on me that I’d seen these shoes - almost identical - on Marks and Spencer’s website, a few weeks ago.
The reason it drew my attention, was that both stores are only offering them in the same two colours, so not just incredibly similar shapes and style…
For €950 (£814.78) or these for £55…
And these…
And these…
If you know me, you’ll know I don’t own anything fake. I have no comment about anyone who wishes to, it’s absolutely none of my business.
It’s just I don’t want to, but dupes, now dupes I can get on board with.
What’s the difference? Well the M&S shoes aren’t pretending to be the YSL version. They aren’t logo-ed up parading as YSL. They are simply an homage to them.
It cannot be a coincidence the shoes are the same shape and design, sold in the only two colour ways of the YSL ones.
I love high end shoes, I have a little obsession with them, but the older I get the wiser my judgement. And when it comes to suede shoes I’m going to go with M&S every single time.
Because I live on rain island, and it has been the cause of a lot of damage to some very very nice shoes over the years.
I’ve recently invested in 4 pairs of different loafers from Marks. And I don’t mind wearing them in the rain. obviously would prefer not to, but it doesn’t freak me out like it did in my Tod’s shoes.
So that’s my first bit of shopping advice.
Zara is renowned for their high end inspired creations, so it would appear M&S are going to give them a run for their money.
I mix high end and high street all the time. I shop from Primark to Prada and everything in between. I go for what looks and feels good rather than anything else.
I also enjoy a collaboration. For me it’s a way of entering the higher end game, for a lot less money.
I bought a few bits from the Victoria Beckham X Mango collab last year.
I paid a fraction of her normal prices for some really nice pieces.
And I very much bought into the Bella Freud X M&S collab last year, I bought loads of it!
They were absolute bargains!
Second tip, is that if you are going on holiday to mainland Europe this year, pop into Intimissimi. You won’t be disappointed.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been buying the cashmere long sleeve tops from there. They are a fabulous base layer for layering, or worn as a top. They feel amazing on too, and keep me really snuggly warm.
I was in a shopping centre in Murcia, in Spain, at the weekend so thought I’d pop into the store there to see if they had any different colours in. They had a great selection ~ for half the price I’ve been paying in England!! Half!!!
Obvs I stocked up. I bought all the colours they had. Plus some of the vest top versions.
I’m wild with rage that we ended up here, paying way over the odds in the UK. I’m gutted I wasted money buying so many in England.
But I’m delighted I’ve finished my collection of them now for half the price I was paying.
Let’s get on to what she wore…
…why?
Well, to answer that we have to go back 15 years to my diagnosis and treatment plan.
When my surgeon told me I needed a permanent colostomy I felt traumatised.
I was horrified, and in a way ashamed of what I was going to have to have done.
I thought I’d never leave the house again (and this was secondary to the fact that I might not even survive the cancer, after such a significant delay in diagnosis.
I honestly thought that if I did live, I’d be cut off from the rest of the world by my own self imposed exile. I could weep for her, for that frightened 36 year old woman who wanted to live, but was scared of her impending isolation).
And it’s for her, that I post my many photos on my social media, and it’s for anyone else who is in the same situation. Because I didn’t have anyone to show me what was possible. I had no idea what lay ahead, and all I could think of was that it would be a lesser version of.
I thought I’d wear shit clothes, looking like shit, covered in shit, stinking of shit. I spiralled out of control. It took me to some very low places.
Then I had the surgery, and once I finally woke up, I looked down at the bag on my abdomen and thought “ohhhh, is that it? Right, that’s nothing, I can do this!!”
…And 6 months later I was laying on a beach in Cuba drinking mojitos.
So that’s why I post my pictures of my outfits and my life. I want the world to know a colostomy isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a whole new one!
Top from Intimissimi, Jeans and shoes from M&S, Bag from Goyard.
*excuse the bedding below, it’s my spray tan set so I don’t ruin my Neptune bedding.
Shirt & Trousers from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from Kate Spade.
Top from Ralph Lauren, Trousers from M&S, Shoes from Hermes
Top from Ralph Lauren, Trousers from H&M, Shoes from Hermes, Bag from Goyard.
I hope it comes across that dressing nicely is possible with a stoma. Even if you don’t like my taste and style choices. I hope it makes the thought of dressing how you want feel possible.
I really enjoy clothes and finding things that work for me.
I live a fabulous life - for the most part because of my stoma.
(To clarify, I would have been better off not having had misdiagnosed cancer for too many painful symptomatic years. I would have preferred not to have shit myself on a fair few occasions, because a tumour was allowed to grow unchecked by the array of GPs I sought help for my excruciating pain and symptoms for. But that wasn’t to be my life story).
I get to do all the things I do because of my stoma, and that is the reason why I feel so positive and at peace with it. I completely understand those who don’t feel this way.
No one can tell you how you should feel about it. It’s your life and your journey.
You get to decide how you feel, and you should be allowed to process it in your own way. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I like mine, some people hate theirs. There is no right or wrong way. There are just ways.
Finding peace with it is helpful, but you have to take your time to process, accept and adapt in your own way. You do you 🤍
I get to dress up when I want, and down when I don’t.
Top From M&S, Leggings from Next, Boots from Ugg.
I am equally happy to be out and about, as I am at home - playing giant dolls houses, with pots of tea, and toast in a sunny garden.
(I do not enjoy the gardening bit to be honest. But as our gardener is off sick, so we have no choice).
The main thing is I have the choice as to what I do, when I do it. And that definitely isn’t how I thought life would be.
It’s wild to think that I didn’t fly anywhere for 8 years prior to my diagnosis.
I was too scared of the fear of accidents, I had a few of those on land, so there was no way I’d risk being on a plane and shitting myself.
So yes, I would have preferred not to have ever had cancer, but I can’t hate on my colostomy because it gave me the chance to live fully, and play in the whole world again.
I have been to everywhere I ever wanted to go, I have been to places I didn’t even want to go but enjoyed it anyway…I’ve also been to one place I didn’t enjoy and would never go back again.
But all of it is only possible because of that bag attached to my abdomen.
I went from being grounded for 8 years, to flying off on my own, and driving alone in Spain (which is odd, because I don’t even like driving in the UK).
I headed out to our Spain house…
I get more holidays than Chris does, my boss is very generous with holiday allowance (…me, it’s me, I’m my boss, and I am indeed incredibly generous with my holidays) 🥰
So I fly out before Chris comes over. I potter about, get the house all ready, and generally just laze about.
I am confident that I won’t get any issues with my bag. Or rather, I can outweigh the potential risk of it, by thinking about the fact I can have extra time in a beautiful place.
Jacket and Trousers from M&S, T shirt from Burberry, Shoes from Hermes, Bag from LV
I go out on holiday browner than I come back. I have a spray tan from the fabulous Ellie at Bare Faced Beauty in Halstead (not a paid ad, I just adore her).
I don’t sit in the sun much anymore. Firstly it ages the skin, secondly I spent last year having skin cancers cut off, burnt off and frozen off, and I can honestly say, it’s not as much fun as it sounds 😬🫣😂.
So I have about 10-20 minutes in the sun for vitamin D. Then I sun cream and cover up for the rest of the time.
Can you bikini with a stoma?
YES YOU CAN IF YOU WANT TO!!
I didn’t go through everything I went through to be told what to do by anyone else.
(In fairness I wasn’t very good at that before cancer, so I’m definitely not going to after it).
Bikini from Hunza G
How you will most likely find me…
Bikini from Tesco
Bikini from Tesco
I wear factor 50 and stay in the shade for a lot of the time and cover up.
Although this trip I spent a lot of my time spring cleaning the house.
This lot was from the two bedrooms, and it was very very enjoyable. :)
You know you are on your holidays when the Lays come out :)
One of the best things about holidaying alone is being able to eat what I want.
I have the ability to eat the same food every day. It drives Chris a little crazy…Apparently some people want variety
😬😂
Not me though…
I’m really lucky because I can eat whatever I like now, that wasn’t the case in the misdiagnosed years.
I focus on fibre. Protein is important but fibre could save your life long term.
Chris hates chick peas, so I feast on them whenever I am alone.
Plus I found these fabulous salad toppers in Spain, I don’t think they sell them here so I bought a load of packs and brought them home.
And they are equally good on breakfast too!
I live really well when I come here, it’s like a little health retreat.
I walk, I eat salads…although it all goes down hill when I get to the ice cream shop, but life is about balance. :)
The area our house is in has had months of storms, with heavy rains and floods. I have never seen this usually arid land so lush and green.
It was stunning! Perfect for walking.
I was only over there a few days by myself before I went to pick Chris up from the airport.
I arrived, parked the car and a man started gesticulating for me to get out of the car and come see something at the front.
I had a horrible thought that I’d hit something (not outside the realms of possibility of course 😉).
But actually it was worse than that,well, sort of, the car radiator had clearly broken and all the fluid was now all over the floor.
Poor Chris, the first text he got on landing was “hi, the car is ******!”
Anyway, the reason I love him so much is because he’s so cute, kind, calm and capable and that is incredibly sexy.
I was mid way through calling the breakdown service (the car’s, rather than mine, but I was midway through one of my own too), when Chris felt that he could patch it up.
My airport outfit. Although I looked way less cheery than this by the time he arrived.
Top from Intimissimi, Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Gucci, Bag from Fendi
He poured some more radiator fluid in, and it started pissing out a hole in the pipe.
He said “what I need is some duct tape or something really sticky like that…
And this is why we are so perfect together.
He knew what he needed, and I came up with the goods…
Voila!
If you’re ever need to fix your radiator pipe, I can recommend the sticky part of your stoma bags!
It held for the entire time we were away. (It’s now in the garage for repair)
I love being at the house by myself, but really it comes to fruition when Chris arrives.
She’s all classy and demure until she hits the ice cream shop…then she’s like a fed after midnight Gremlin…
We stoped off at the supermarket on the way home, and seeing this washing liquid never fails to make me laugh.
If only it were so easy to buy a new one. 🤣
My new colon will have to wait till science catches up. :)
…and it’s not like I’m missing out on anything until then.
Top from Intimissimi, Trousers from H&M, Shoes from Jimmy Choo, Bag from Strathberry.
Food is so important to me, well, obviously it’s important to everyone, but dining out is incredibly important to me because I thought I wouldn’t be able to.
I wasn’t able to eat a lot of things pre diagnosis because most went straight through me.
Now I have a very well behaved stoma, so I can eat whatever I want now, and I do!!
Chris’s arrival in Spain means meals out and odd jobs undertaken.
He put a new mirror up in the spare room so I don’t have to keep climbing on the foot stool in the living room.
I often struggle to hydrate properly on holiday, I have some damage to my bladder from surgery, radiation and instant menopause at 36, when my ovaries were removed at the same time as my AP resection.
It’s left me with a very annoyingly over sensitive bladder. So if I drink enough to stay hydrated I will be up all night peeing.
So I often add in high water content foods, in the hope to slow down the process. Does it work? I have no idea, but I think it does help a bit.
Nights out aren’t dressy dressy here. It’s very rural and quaint. Marbs it ain’t.
Top, Jeans and Shoes from M&S
Who needs Marbella when you have a little marina and the best ice cream shop in the world.
Believe me, I have done extensive research on this topic 🥰😋🍦
Then all too soon it’s time to come home.
This year is full of exciting trips and adventures, and I can’t wait.
All of it only possible because of my stoma, so yes, for me, colostomies can’t be anything other than a positive.
Top and trousers from M&S, Shoes from Hermes.
I appreciate there are down sides to stoma owning.
For instance bag change time is very smelly.
Far more so than someone just going to the toilet in the normal way.
Generally speaking my poo has been sat in the bag for 24 hours.
I was assured by the stoma nurse, 15 years ago, that I’d go to the toilet once a day, and then that would be it for the day.
She could not have been more wrong, which is why the last time I saw her was 15 years ago, because I felt I might as well learn by trial and error, rather than be guided by someone who doesn’t actually know what they are talking about first hand.
I actually go 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don’t stop pooping. Even in my sleep (very grateful for my bag for that!! 🫣😂).
So of course bag change time is very smelly, and very cloying.
But I have to remember that people with functional bottoms also smell at times. Actually, potentially they smell more than bagged people do, all the time, as they crop dust everywhere, all day long.
We are bagged and therefore pass wind with a filter in between ~ they don’t.
I find it very difficult to change my bag in a public space or at someone’s house. I would rather change it in the garden shed than in the house (and yes, I have actually done that).
I had a little utility room built at my Spain house for changing my bag when we have guests over.
It makes me feel more comfortable with having people to stay.
My friends always reassure me it’s not a problem to change in their home, but it’s just something I don’t feel comfortable with.
It’s the only time that I do smell on a daily basis. Just 5 minutes at bag change time. The rest of the time I’m fresher than the average person. :)
(*I have had a few bag failures and leaks but they are mercifully rare. And if you are struggling with leaks, then please speak to your stoma team or stoma supplier. They might have some solutions for you. Never ever suffer in silence).
We flew home to be greeted by two little boys who appear to have missed me quite a bit 💙🩵🥰😂
I felt bad about going on holiday and leaving the boys stuck in their cage home alone.
So I ordered two extra cages from Temu. Only one turned up in time, so we added that to their normal cage. The second one has arrived now. So when we go away in future they will have more space to enjoy.
I can’t leave them out unattended, because they often get into trouble and need help. Like flying into the window a bit too fast, or getting caught up in a blanket.
I have a camera on them at all times in their cage, so I know they are safe and sound.
Are they spoilt? I bloody hope so! What’s the point of having any additional things to love if you aren’t going to spoil them! Feathered or otherwise 🥰
Keep well, have fun. Xx