This blog is going to be all out of sequence, but I thought I’d get the good news out first, then move on to the outfits of the day.
Let’s start at the beginning. In July I went to my GP about some breast pain I was experiencing. She told me to take evening primrose oil and come back in 6 weeks.
I smiled politely, and thought, absolutely not!
As if I’m going to play that game again, having missed many opportunities to save myself from the trauma of bowel cancer, after being misdiagnosed and told to use Fybogel and pile cream for far too many years. No thank you!
So I asked her for a referral for a mammogram at a private hospital I’m registered with.
I then came home and checked with the NHS screening service when I was going to have my free mammogram.
In England women aged between 50-53 are given one, and I’m 51.
Anyway, very reassuringly they couldn’t find any record of me on the system (sarcasm is high right now).
The lady rang me back a few days later to say “oh yes, we did find you in the end, you’re due to be called in February”.
I enquired if could I bring it forward at all, and was told no, not unless your GP wants to. And as my GP had just prescribed evening primrose oil and sent me on my way, I doubted she’d be keen to.
So I then activated plan B. I contacted my medical insurance provider, who immediately agreed to authorise it.
I was going there anyway for a skin cancer treatment appointment, so I took my GP referral letter to the private hospital we use, and they said they’d book me in.
A few days later the booking admin contacted me to say they couldn’t actually book me in because the GP hadn’t signed the form.
So then I go back to my GP to request for her to sign it.
I sent it back to the private hospital - now signed.
This wasn’t an immediate action, this took days and weeks and months to sort out.
Having sent the corrected form over, a few days later the private hospital admin contacted me again to say that it didn’t clearly state ‘mammogram’, and that it needed re doing.
So I go back to my GP to ask if it can be done fully please and thank you.
I’ve condensed the time frame of this tooing and froing for expedience of story telling, but all this back and forth took a great deal of time.
I finally managed to get the form to say everything it needed to. I then asked the private hospital admin if I could proceed. And they said yes!
Finally! I’m getting somewhere!
I don’t cope well with paperwork etc, so this had already been a bit stressful enough. Plus I was fearful of what the mammogram would show up - if they actually exist, at this point I was beginning to wonder if they weren’t some mythical creature.
So I rocked up to the hospital on Friday afternoon last week for another skin cancer appointment (slight detour here, but the skin cancer on my chest is still there, even though it’s been cut out and frozen off. So now I’m giving some cream which burns it off a try) anyway, I go to reception to book my mammogram and the lady says “you can’t just book a mammogram, you need to see a consultant breast cancer specialist first, then he decides”
When I tell you I had a mini breakdown I am not joking. It had taken since July to jump through all the hoops I had been through to try and book something that isn’t actually bookable in that way to start with!!
What the actual fuck!!!
I was incredibly distressed. All I could think about was the valuable time that had been wasted, effectively, stolen from me leading to this moment. I could have been seen in July if I’d been given the correct information.
They very kindly said they’d fit me in to the list that night as an emergency. But of course, in an ideal world that would have been exactly that, ideal. But I knew I’d need to get it signed off, agreed and authorised by my health insurance company, and I just couldn’t face being turned away yet again by the booking team.
Monday morning I rang Bupa, our insurance company, and explained the situation. The man was so lovely and kind. He immediately signed off on everything I needed doing, plus cover for things I might need doing, depending on how the mammogram and ultrasound scan went.
And then he dropped a little tiny mini bomb;
“I’m so sorry you’ve been treated like this Suzanne, it should never have happened, it’s appalling, and I know this is no use to you now, but in future, if you need anything like that done, you don’t need to go through a GP for a referral, call us straight away and we can refer you directly and immediately”
It took my breath away. I was literally struck dumb. I had wasted all that time since July trying to get it sorted, when it could have happened in the space of a day.
Anyway!! I have fantastic news!
I had the appointment on Monday night. It’s a one stop service.
You see the breast cancer consultant for an examination first, he then sends you to radiology for a mammogram and ultrasound, you then go back to the consultant once the radiologist has checked the results. All in the space of an hour or so.
I AM FINE!! Thank god! Thank the universe. Thank whoever it is looking out for me up there somewhere!! And huge thank you to the consultant and his team for their fantastic service and support.
I am grateful. And I know I am lucky. The lady who was seen right before me wasn’t so lucky, and I can’t stop thinking about her, and I’m sending her love.
I wish it had been an easy process to book in for it, I could have done without the unnecessary hassle involved. But the actual appointment was so efficient.
Never let the thought of hassle put you off of doing something. If you think something isn’t quite right, get it checked, insist upon further tests too, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. No one is coming to save you, you have to be the driving force.
The only downside is that I have used up all my outpatient allowance bar £62 on the skin cancer diagnosis and treatment. So we’ll be paying for the rest out of pocket. But I’d pay double that for the peace of mind it’s bought me.
I rang Chris to tell him the good news. I cried a bit. I gave myself a minute and then drove home.
It was dark by then and as I was driving down a very dark unlit country lane I had to stop the car and put my hazard lights on, because in front of me, right in the middle of the road was the most beautiful stag. He was absolutely stunning. He was perfect in every way. And illuminated by my headlights he looked celestial.
I believe that there are signs sent to us from somewhere we can’t see. I’m not sure I buy into heaven and hell, and I certainly don’t believe in organised religion.
But I do believe there is something out there. And I really believe that whoever it is that looks out for me all the time sent this beautiful creature to say “we got you, don’t worry”.
I felt enveloped in peace and calm after I saw him, which is similar to how I felt straight after my surgery, when I also had an other worldly experience too.
I feel so much lighter now the weight of worry has been lifted.
I very much enjoy my life. And I will hopefully get to do that for a long time to come.
And now for the doing bit…
Top from Boden, Trousers from Michael Kors, Shoes from Chanel.
I invited my friend over for lunch. We met when we were filming Stand Up 2 Cancer at St Pancras station this time last year.
We clicked then and kept in touch.
Obviously I scaped a table in honour of Nat’s visit.
Any excuse to do a little spread. And Nat loves horror and Halloween so this table seemed very fitting. We had such a lovely afternoon (…that’s presumptuous isn’t it! I had a very lovely afternoon, and I hope Nat did too).
Then once we’d dropped Natalie off at the station, Chris and I went out for dinner with Ben, Erin and Erin’s mum Julie to celebrate Erin’s birthday.
…and I can’t think of a better way to celebrate than with a phallic shaped carved carrot ‘fisherman’. 🫣
Erin had a very happy birthday. :)
We had a busy week night week last week with meals out.
We were off to a new restaurant to us, over in Hertfordshire.
Our friends invited us out and I was really looking forward to it. We went to a restaurant in a fancy-ish hotel over their way.
When we arrived there was a weird vibe about the place with lots of ear pieced security guards everywhere, which seemed odd.
My friend explained that the NFL were there, which meant nothing to me on an immediate level, I was thinking what’s NFL?? National Farmers League?? That didn’t seem quite right.
My quizzical face clearly gave me away and she then said “American Football players”. “Ohhhhhhh, right, NFL, I get it”.
Not farmers, but footballers. It’s not massively popular here as far as I know. I think Ben might follow it a bit, but not terribly sure, I know he likes basketball, so I could be mistaken.
I have no idea what team or teams were in residence, but they had a lot of security guards.
I saw a couple of men who I assumed were players returning to the hotel, I assumed they were because they were big guys, American, loaded up with Harrods bags.
I have no idea if they were famous or not. I doubt I’d recognise any English footballers (soccer football, not American football) so I’m definitely not going to recognise NFL players.
We had such a fab evening with our friends, I laughed so much my cheeks were aching, which is always a sign of a great night out.
Top from M&S, Skirt from Reiss, Shoes from Jimmy Choo.
This outfit is so old, but I thought it worked so well together with my new bag and rarely worn shoes.
We’re seeing our friends again in a couple of weeks and I can’t bloody wait!!
Saturday was really good. I’d booked us tickets to the Marilyn Monroe exhibition at Arches London Bridge. I’ve been booking experiences lately, we’ve got some really interesting stuff coming up.
I was really looking forward to this one. When I was 14, I fell in love with Marilyn Monroe, even though she died many years before I was born.
It became an obsession really, no shock there, I am prone to hyper fixation. I lived and breathed Marilyn. I didn’t get out much back then, so she became very important to me.
And to be honest I don’t know how I researched her as much as I did, seeing as there was no internet to use.
I had every publicly published photo of her, my walls were covered. I read everything I could find. I collected and watched all the films available to buy, on repeat. I listened to her recordings and songs.
And this exhibition was as special to me now, as it would have been when I was first obsessed aged 14.
It’s really very good. If I’d known there was a ticket on sale that meant you could have actually hold some of her possessions I would have booked it. But I found out too late and it had sold out for the day. I was already a bit overwhelmed and emotional as it was, with just seeing her things, so it was probably for the best.
Top and Jeans from Ralph Lauren, Boots from Dior, Bag from Goyard, Coat from Burberry.
It’s a really comprehensive private collection, I’m very envious of someone lucky enough to own all these things. But I’m so glad that they are sharing it with us too.
I was able to tick off a girlhood dream when we visited California a few years ago. So this exhibition was the icing on the cake.
We had a fab day out. Chris said he enjoyed it, even though he didn’t have any prior knowledge of Marilyn.
*One of the things that has always frustrated me when people speak of her is their insistence that she was plus size.
She most definitely, absolutely wasn’t.
She was tiny, but with bigger proportioned boobs and bum.
Even in her later days she was still very dinky and dainty.
I think the confusion arose when her dress size was translated from US dress sizes to UK ones.
American women sizing are four numbers higher than UK sizing.
So a 10 here, is 14 in the US.
And 10 in the US is 6 here. I think this is where the misnomer comes from.
Because a 22 inch waist is most definitely not plus size.
It was the most fantastic start to the weekend.
We popped to Harrods to get some make up I needed, followed by lunch in one of our favourite places, who clearly feel the feeling is mutual as they always give us a discount on the food. :)
Then Sunday morning was spent playing with these guys…
…did I mention the stars all aligned and Percy’s brother became available to buy?
I wanted to have one budgie, I wanted to form a strong bond with it and we’d be each other’s friend.
I have had singular budgies before as a child. But I could tell Percy was unhappy and lonely.
I knew that I’d made a mistake by making him an only child.
And serendipitously I found out that the person who was planning to buy his brother hadn’t shown up to collect him.
Which was very fortunate for all concerned.
So meet Augustus Autumn Christopher Doré!!
Gus…
They are so adorable and happy together. I have been well and truly left out of the friendship group by them. Two’s company and all that!
But that’s okay as watching them together more than makes up for it.
They are comical little clowns.
Gus is a little rat bag, and is a bit more feisty than Percy. He’s a bit bitey, but not horrendously so.
Just a little boy who knows his own mind, if not his place!
They are adorable! And exactly what I was looking for. Something to focus on and occupy my attention.
I’m a mum, but it’s only in name once your kids leave home, and mine flew the nest years ago.
So now I feel needed again, which is really lovely. I have to get up and do things for them. And they aren’t the tie that a dog is. I didn’t want that life again, I really enjoyed our 17 years of dog ownership, but they are incredibly restrictive.
Flexible freedom, but with responsibility and companionship thrown in. It’s worked out perfectly.
We had a fab afternoon too, as Erin cooked one of her special roast dinners. She’s a fantastic cook, and we are grateful invitees. :)
Top from M&S, Trousers from H&M.
I put this outfit together unthinkingly, and then later caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and laughed.
Inspiration can be subconscious as it turns out…
It really tickled my fancy when I realised.
Shoes from Chanel, Bag from Goyard.
We had a lovely afternoon with Ben, Erin and Titi, who I believe is a contender for longest cat in the world award.
It’s like I’m holding two different cats here, rather than one very stretchy one. Hahahah.
Fab food as always. We are lucky.
Then Monday morning I spent a very enjoyable time at a lovely hotel for a very lovely yoga class.
I mean, look how gorg this place is!
Definitely worth a visit if you are local and available on Monday mornings. :)
It was so good, and has set me up for a great week ahead. 🥰
Keep well, get checked if you have concerns about anything. No time to waste. Be your own hero. Xx 😘