The final Spain trip… — Gladrags & Bags

I posted this on my social media feeds last Saturday.

I believe it’s so important to share our true feelings about our experiences and lives with a stoma. I think we should always share our authentic selves.

I’m very lucky, and extremely grateful that I pretty much have positive experiences with my stoma, I can’t think of many occasions where I’ve had a problem, if I have anything not so great happen I say.

I am really lucky that I have a very well behaved, low down colostomy, so 99% of the time I’m having a blast!

My on the whole good experience is rare probably, and I don’t take it for granted.

All experiences with stoma life are different. All experiences are valid. When I see someone sharing the low lows I know it’s going to find someone who is having an equally rough time and bring them comfort that they are not alone.

And it’s the same for the positive side of stoma life too. It’s been 14 years since my cancer diagnosis and surgery. I’ve had a few bag leaks over the years, but relatively few.

My main problem is constipation, which is also unusual for a stoma. But I’ve always liked to buck a trend. Hahah.

“Today is world ostomy day!! (Yeah, I know, there seems to be two world ostomy days because I saw some posts about it on Wednesday too). But let’s face it, one day, two days, three, four…if you have a stoma ~ every day is world ostomy day!

Every day is worth highlighting what sort of life is achievable with a ostomy! Because the expectation is that it is a lesser life, and for some that is their experience, which is heartbreaking, and I’m so sorry that has happened to you. ❤️‍🩹 xx

But for others, myself included, life is bigger, bolder, better and brighter than the many many miserable misdiagnosed, symptomatic years!

They were grim, spent in agony and shitting myself a fair amount.

My life was small. I didn’t fly anywhere for 8 years because of the fear of accidents, I very rarely went out.

So the pained and exhausted me is a distant memory. I don’t recognise her in the person I have been able to become…because of my stoma.

Cutting me open, pulling my bowel through my abdomen, stitching it to my tummy, and applying a small plastic bag to collect my waste, who knew it would unlock the whole world to play in!!? Because in all honesty, I certainly didn’t.

My assumption before I had it done was that I would shrivel away from the world even further, away from my family and my friends. I thought I’d watch the world go by through social media and television. But nothing could have been further from the lived experience!

So if you’ve ever thought ‘Christ she posts a lot’, it’s just as surprising to me too ~ because of the simple fact that I’m getting to do a lot!

I travel more than most bagless people I know, I travel more than most pilots! 😂

And I only get to do any of because of a little bag on my belly. Have bag will travel never felt so good.

And rather appropriately for world stoma day you can listen to an interview with me with the lovely Raphaela on her @stoma4life on @ukhealthradio on demand today! Thank you to Raphaela and thank you for listening. 🩷

Hopefully this link will work;

https://ukhealthradio.com/wp-content/audio/raphaela-reeb-ilgenfritz-stoma-4-life/2024-10-05%20-%C2%A0Suzanne%20Dor%C3%A8%20shares%20her%20journey%20from%20cancer%20to%20advocacy,%20including%20her%20work%20on%20the%20European%20Association%20for%20Endoscopic%20Surgery%20guidelines%20committee,%20ensuring%20patient%20voices%20shape%20practices..mp3

I can’t think of anywhere I want to go but haven’t been able to because I have a stoma. I only know that I have been able to go to some incredible places because of it.

I think this selection of photos above show that I live a very good life, full of adventures and wearing nice clothes.

My life didn’t stop when I had my stoma surgery, it re-began!

So what have I been wearing lately?…

Top from Sandro, Trousers from M&S, Shoes from Dior, Bag from Goyard.

I had a fabulous day planned in this little number! We were off to London, where Chris bought me something I’ve waited over 30 years of yearning for.

I honestly believe that most of my positivity comes from the fact that I have Chris is my corner cheering me on.

Old fashioned though that may be, he is my knight in shining armour every single day.

It’s safe to say I can’t ask for any Christmas or birthday presents for the foreseeable future now. But I feel utterly blessed and complete. Literally completed my ‘wants’ list.

I popped over to Selfridges because I wanted to get one of the Influencer, Lorna Luxe, candles that are now being stocked there, plus while I was there I thought I’d better check out their Christmas shop.

This is a public service announcement, you have to go!! I do believe they’ve won Christmas shopping experience this year!

The trees are glorious, as expected, but the attention to detail elsewhere was amazing!

Whoever’s idea it was to cover the shopping baskets and trolleys in tinsel deserves a raise! I laughed so much when I saw them. They literally are as camp as Christmas and it’s wonderful.

We had the most fabulous day!!

Finished off with dinner with friends at The Cinnamon Club.

It was definitely a day to remember.

We had another fab night out in London for our son, Sam’s 28th birthday.

The restaurant, Smokestack, isn’t one I particularly like because I don’t enjoy Shoreditch, and I’m not into smoked or bbq food. But they honestly do the best sticky toffee pudding I’ve ever had! Bar none! Not even Gordon Ramsey’s one can match it.

Top from Kate Spade, Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Ugg, Bag from Dior, Coat from Boss.

My beautiful baby boys. :)

Then on the Monday morning I did something so super exciting!!

Sam and Milly needed a tiny bit of childcare cover. Milly has gone back to university to do her Masters degree (both my boys have super brainy partners. In that regard they take after me, probably the only thing, as I am always drawn to super intelligent people too).

(For me I think it’s a primal instinct to make up for what I lack though.🤩).

They only needed an hour or so of cover. But I left home in the morning, just in case Zak needed to come home from school early for whatever reason.

I was so happy to do something that I consider to be a grandma role. It took three hours and three trains to get there, but I have never been more excited about a long journey before.

Top from Holland Cooper, Trousers from M&S, Shoes from LV

Was it wise to travel by pubic transport in white jeans? Is it wise to wear white jeans with a stoma? Probably no on both counts, but I simply didn’t care.

Zak was very nonchalant about me picking him up, but I was so happy.

******

I posted on my Stories that I had made a huge dent in my Christmas gift shopping on Wednesday last week, with these photos below, and my rather clever friend messaged me to say that seeing as these photos were taken in a dressing room it looked like I treated myself too! Hahaha.

She knows me too well!

Top and jeans from M&S, Boots from Ralph Lauren.

Shopping completed I headed to my flu jab appointment. Having had flu (real flu, not the heavy colds people call flu) twenty five odd years ago, I always buy a flu jab this time of year. The flu took me out of action for two weeks solid, and I didn’t feel right for about 8 weeks after. I have no wish to do that ever again.

I’d buy a Covid vaccine if it were possible, but they aren’t for sale as yet, and I’m not eligible for one via the NHS.

(*Fun fact, I’ve never had Covid, or rather I’ve never tested positive for it. And believe me, I’ve tested a lot. I had a couple of colds that probably were Covid, but it never showed up on any tests).

I feel winter ready now.

*****

And then, I flew to Spain again, solo again.

This was my last solo flight of the year. And our penultimate trip of the year.

So I made it count.

Top from Ralph Lauren, Trousers from M&S, Shoes from Hermes, bag from LV.

I arrived in the area in time for dinner. I said to Chris that I was going to go to our usual place.

I also said that I hoped he’d found something to eat at home…he then sent me this photo…

…so apparently you can now get a Toby Carvery on Deliveroo!! Hahahahah.

He’s a genius that man!

Anyway, not to be outdone, I headed to the restaurant.

And while I was there in the marina it seemed foolish to not get dessert to finish it off…

It’s no exaggeration to say I plan my holidays around the opening times of this particular ice cream shop! It is the best in the world.

I love coming here, alone or with company.

It’s a very cute little house, and I feel safe to be here alone, although we forgot to close the doors on our last trip.

Our cleaning company FaceTimed me last week to ask if we were still here. I said that I wasn’t, and she then told me that not only were the doors unlocked, they were wide open!

Not a mistake we’ll be making again. We were lucky to have not been burgled, I told you I was lucky. 🍀

Dress from Nobody’s Child, Shoes from Jimmy Choo.

I read, I walk, I eat well. I love being able to come and go.

I am incredibly lucky. Some good luck is naturally occurring, and some you make for yourself by taking risks and chances, like boarding a plane with a stoma, and especially boarding a plane alone with a stoma.

If my stoma made me afraid to venture out into the world it would be such a waste of a life. In my experience, it’s worth giving something a go.

I gained confidence every time I pushed myself to go somewhere new, and nothing bad happened. From there I learned to live again. Without fear.

Healthy eating is easy in Spain. Far easier than at home.

Dress from Oliver Bonas, Shoes from Hermes.

One of the things I’m feel very fortunate about is having friends all over the world.

So when I come to Spain I always ask my friend round the corner here if she’s free for a girlie lunch.

Mel has lived here twenty years so she knows some fabulous places to go.

We had such a great catch up and fab food.

And again I feel lucky that my stoma doesn’t stop me getting out and about.

The photo below is my final mirror selfie here for a while as Chris has arrived for a mini break.

I love being here by myself, but I love it even more once he arrives!

Dress from Oliver Bonas, Shoes from Hermes.

We’ve had a lovely time. Eating, dozing (Chris, not me, I’m very anti dozing).

Top from French Connection, Trousers from M&S.

There was a queue for photos here, I had to wait behind a lady who was at least 25 to 30 years older than me, who was very particular about the way she wanted the photos taken by her husband, it really made me laugh because I bet some instagram influencers don’t even expect the effort she wanted put in. You go girl, you live your best life! 🥰

We indulged in, and have eaten our body weights in Menu Del Dia. A Spanish tradition of a 5 course hearty meal, for €15 or less a person, including drinks and coffee.

I am frugal when I want to be. ;)

We decided to do a little sightseeing, the weather is ideal for it, it’s a very pleasant 25 degrees.

Chris and I aren’t particularly great outdoors types, we don’t mind a walk around a city though so that’s something.

But we decided to visit a castle Sam, Milly and Zak went to last year.

We’ve been coming here 25 years, and we had no idea that there was even a castle at Alicante until they went.

Fabulous castle, would recommend you visit, best thing about it is it has a lift to get up there!!

A lift!! Why oh why oh why do we not have these everywhere hilly!!? Chris and I would be far more interested in looking at stuff if they did.

Top from Ralph Lauren, Trousers from M&S, shoes from Jimmy Choo

Alicante is actually a very beautiful old town.

Then Saturday was a national bank holiday DIA DE LA HISPANIDAD.

So we booked a restaurant and enjoyed the festival.

I bought this dress in February, and this was the first time I’ve worn it. Moral of the story don’t buy more than you’re going to wear.

I did go shopping here, tried on a few dresses that I was going to buy, but decided I will buy them as needed, rather than buy them and find a need for them.

My Vinted is full of barely worn clothes I’ve regretted buying.