Not sure why but the words have gone silent in my head (if only the voices would 🫣😂).
I didn’t have a clue how to start writing this blog. I wasn’t sure what to say.
So here goes;
I’ve had a few people newly diagnosed with cancer contact me lately. It really takes the wind out of my sails.
I don’t have any words of wisdom, but, firstly, as ever I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s so very sad and scary when you hear those words, I know, I understand and I see you. Hugs on way.
I am always here if you need an ear, plus I want you to know that once treatment is over life can be good again.
Is my life better for having had cancer?
Abso-fucking-lutley not!!
BUT it’s no worse either. And I think that’s worth pointing out.
I would have preferred to not have ever come face to face with my mortality. I’d rather not have had body altering surgery. I’d have rather have not had lasting body damage from treatment. But bearing in mind what my body has been through, it’s amazing how good I feel about my body now and how thankful and grateful I am to have had the chance to enjoy life.
(And in fairness I really like the convenience that my stoma offers me, although that is because I was symptomatic for so long prior to my eventual diagnosis, so it’s not a like for like comparison to a working bowel and bum hole.
That said, a few friends of mine who do have fully functioning bowels have had some terrible experiences of late, so maybe I am just generally better off with a stoma). 🥰
I want to shout it from the rooftops that life doesn’t have to be a lesser version post cancer. I don’t feel less than because of anything I went through, and I hope the same for everyone facing diagnosis and treatment.
It’s now 15 years since our son Sam was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer (Nasopharyngeal Cancer, aged 13). Back in 2009 we faced hell. He went through the misery of treatment and very fortunately it worked. We are very lucky. He is a fine young man. We are so blessed. And more than anything incredibly proud of both our boys, for how they have dealt with the trauma of Sam’s and my diagnosis.
None of it was easy. But it was definitely worth it.
Sending love to anyone facing the same situation. I’m thinking of you. Xx
******
Last weekend was full of chaos and joy, it was utterly dreamy. Sam, Milly and Zak came up, and we indulged in some early Halloween and fireworks night fun.
Obviously I decorated the house for the occasion, as if I’d miss an opportunity.
I did the main decorating, then I asked Zak to help finish it all off with the home grown pumpkins from the pumpkin patch I grew especially for him.
Jumper from N.Peal, Trousers from Holland Cooper, Boots from Russell and Bromley.
I also organised a full family gathering in honour of my dad’s 84th birthday.
I feel very strongly about birthdays, well, I feel very grateful for every day, but birthdays are extra special as nothing is promised, every day, every year is a blessing.
My dad isn’t big on birthdays and fuss, but he very graciously let us make a fuss anyway.
I mean, how lucky are we that we could take a four generations photo? I’d say we are incredibly fortunate.
Especially considering 3 of the 6 people in this photo are cancer survivors.
I cooked a roast dinner. I didn’t want to, I wanted to get Toby Carvery on Deliveroo, but a petition against this idea was started! And I was overruled! Hahaha
It was such a lovely day. Hopefully it was enjoyable for everyone, not just me. ;)
Erin had asked my mum to teach her to knit, so that kept my mum, Ez and Milly busy for the afternoon. My mum was in her element, being able to teach capable people the ways of the wool.
(I can’t do any practical arts and crafts. Literally zero. I am superiorly untalented in all aspects of crafting.
My mum couldn’t teach me, in part because she couldn’t understand why I was so awful at everything, and some because I am unteachable due to many and various unknown at the time learning difficulties.
A dinner lady at my senior school tried to teach me to knit too, she suffered a terrible heart attack soon after ~ we’re not sure if trying to teach me to knit exacerbated it. I vowed to give up on trying to learn. Saving dinner ladies all over the world the same fate).
But now, as Chris pointed out, my mum has the daughters she never had 🫣😂
They had a proper little knitting circle on the go. I just sat and watched. The story of my life! Hahahah
It was such a good day, a very special day, and a very happy birthday. He’s had 84 of them now, how lucky is that! Xx
All topped off with a mini fire works display.
Tesco, and most other retailers are doing ‘quiet fireworks’. Which are the only ones I’d buy. I hate the obnoxiously loud, animal scaring ones.
They should probably be banned, fireworks can be beautiful without the terror.
On the Sunday morning I invited Kim and the girls over for breakfast so Zak could see his little friends.
Jumper from Bella Frued at M&S, Fake shirt from Cos, Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Dior.
Once Kim and the girls left after brekkie, we had some more time to spend with Zak getting to know my baby budgies.
He really loved them, they are super cute, they liked him very much too.
They are the most delightful little creatures. Fabulous to watch. Full of personality. They are a pair of absolute clowns.
They are exactly what I had hoped for, and hoped they’d be. I had a hole in my being from losing both my dogs. But I knew I didn’t want the tie of dogs again, and I definitely didn’t want the loss of them again. I don’t think I will ever recover from that.
But I wanted something to keep me company, but also something pretty low maintenance and self reliant…enter the budgies!
I open the cage door every day, and some days they don’t even bother to come out, which makes me feel happy to have provided them with a stimulating fun environment.
Percy trying to send a Tweet…
He’s obsessed with my phone, I have no clue why. But I’m happy if he’s happy.
I think it’s fair to say they are very spoiled, but what’s the point of having them if not.
I was a bit lonely in the day times, and I made some changes so as not to be.
Life won’t change unless we do. 🤍
I have a few other little life lessons to add to that too.
I heard someone say the best advice they ever heard was…
“If they wanted to, they would”
Isn’t that fabulous! So simple, but it means so much. “If they wanted to, they would”.
Imagine if we’d all been taught to value ourselves enough to live by that simple concept.
You came for a stoma style blog, and stayed for the life affirmations and life hacks and . ;)
I have been spending an absolute fortune on dry cleaning costs of late.
I dropped some bits off the other day and it came to over £100, for the dry cleaning of clothes which had already cost enough.
Our dry cleaning needs drives me mad. So I looked into some alternatives and found this…
They wouldn’t be any good on very dirty or stained clothes, and no good for things that need sharp creases put back in like suit trousers, but for the jumpers I’d been wearing they were fantastic!
I saved over £40 with one sachet.
Follow me for more household advice hahaha.
Plus, I also recently saved money on some clothes. (Chris will argue here that I have spent money on clothes, rather than saved, but he’s not seeing the bigger picture).
I love Bella Freud’s clothing line, but it’s pretty pricy. Last week I saw that she had done a collaboration with Marks and Spencer. I knew it would be popular so I set an alarm for the launch online.
Anyway, for reasons unknown I went for a walk, which coincided with the launch. My alarm went off, but I thought “oh well, I’ll go on when I get home”
And when I got home I went straight on, and it had all sold out!!
“Bugger!!”
I was a bit gutted as I had hoped to get some bits.
Anyway, Chris and I were heading to that Marilyn exhibition in London the other day, and I thought that while I was in Westfield Stratford I’d see if they had anything left. I knew the central London stores had all sold out.
But fortunately for me I found a little oasis of most of the pieces! In all the sizes I needed to try.
I had a field day! Not all of it looked good on me. But some of it did, so I bought some.
So instead of spending money on the Bella Freud ones, I spent money on the Bella Freud X M&S ones.
Yes, I appreciate I have still spent money on them. But considerably less.
This, but cheaper…
They are still very good quality. Just less spenny. I haven’t worn them yet. But I am planning to.
This jumper is from the range too. And very much cheaper than a solely Bella Freud one.
I didn’t get the arts and crafts gene. I did however get an abundance of the shopping and styling gene. So, I’m happy with my lot. 🫶🏼
Chris was out with clients on Saturday, so I took myself out shopping, play to your strengths I say.
I didn’t find anything that I wanted to buy, but I did get some inspiration for future outfits, from the window displays.
Top from Ralph Lauren, Trousers from H&M
I loved this red and black flannel shirt, paired with a classic formal black skirt that I saw in Ralph Lauren. A look I have both component parts for too! See, there I am saving money again. ;)
I’m not sure on the two shirts, bow tie and fedora combo, but the core design looks really nice.
I will give them a try.
****
I love travel, I don’t think that’s a secret from anyone. But actually adding these boys into our lives has made me want to be out far less.
I think next year might have considerably less flights involved, and more importantly I’m not freaked out about the idea of that, plus it’s better for the environment too. Everyone’s a winner. :)
Home is now a happy place again. I missed the noise of dogs and kids, so the incredibly loud squarks fill it up perfectly.
If they get rowdy while we’re watching telly we just throw their blanket over them.
Lowish maintenance, high entertainment.
And here’s todays cookery segment…
We’re not very good at using pumpkins for food in the UK. A friend of mine didn’t even know they were edible.
But I don’t like waste, and I grew them from seed, so I wanted to use them.
Soup is the easiest healthiest thing to make with them.
Onion, garlic, pumpkin, curry powder, chilli, vegetarian chicken stock, black pepper white pepper and turmeric. Whizz it up with the blender. Quick, easy, and enough to put some in the freezer for winter soup needs. :)
We planned to dismantle the Halloween displays on Sunday, and Chris suggested that while he was out there with the ladders anyway, that he could make a start, and put up some of the Christmas decorations…
And that was the easiest yes I’ve ever given!
We had planned to finally get that Toby Carvery delivered on Deliveroo and eat it in bed. I know!! Living the dream!
But as I was feeling festive I laid a scape, and played Christmas music. 10/10, would recommend! Hahaha
The only benefit I can find to being a grown up is being able to put your decorations up when you want. Other than that, it’s been a pretty underwhelming experience 😂
A Sunday roast, delivered to the door? Hell yeah!! :)
You do you ♥️
I started the week with Yoga. I’m not sporty, never have been. And I lack motivation as much as ability, plus I have two abdominal hernias and a stoma which add to my list of reasons not to do anything outside of my comfort zone.
But I really enjoy the class, even if I’m not the best at it. It just sets me up for the week and energises me. I find I’m more productive for the rest of the week too.
Yoga, in a fancy Manor House hotel is pretty much as good as it gets.
It certainly beats doing it in a draughty village hall. :)
Keep well, much love, see you soon after some more adventures ♥️