Excuse the italics, for some reason it just did that itself today…
I knew the holiday was going to improve greatly once Chris arrived.
It obviously helped that the weather dropped from the unbearable 40 degree heat…to the almost equally unbearable 38, 36, and even 35 degree days.
Its way to hot for me to handle at that point. I can’t cope with the raging heat, because I am a true English rose, and struggle with anything above 25.
Twenty five is perfect, warm enough for strappy dresses, cool enough that it doesn’t feel like your innards are going to melt down your legs.
Actually if it were up to me (and sometimes I do actually think it should be), it would be 25 degrees celsius, and bright sunshine…with rain through the night, say, 1-5 am ~ I’ve given it a lot of thought over the years.
Anyway, we were exceptionally lucky because we just had high temperatures and humidity. Parts of Europe are literally on fire. It’s absolutely awful to see beautiful places we’ve been and enjoyed going up in smoke.
The loss of homes and wildlife is heartbreaking. Watching the scenes of displaced families, locals and holiday makers alike is tragic.
Sending love to those in the fire zones.
We are fortunate enough to have air conditioning in our house in Spain. So we just spent the holiday chilling out, mostly indoors, reading and doing sweet FA.
Venturing out for an hour in the early morning, and coming back out in the evening for dinner….and of course ice cream (can’t see much point in going if we didn’t).
I was able to get lots of reading done. I read Paris Hilton’s autobiography. I knew of her of course, but I didn’t know anything about her, she’s never really been on my radar before. I’ve never seen anything with Paris in. Come to that, I’ve never seen a single episode of any Kardashian program before either. All my heroes are long gone, I never really connect with the zeitgeists that happen now,
Paris’s autobiography is haunting to be honest. She went through hell as a teenager. It was a huge shock to read about it because I had never heard anything about it before.
All I can say is I’m glad I grew up with my family, because I too was an out of control, monstrous creature…but thankfully my parents didn’t have hundreds of thousands of pounds to spend on trying to reform me. Thank the universe!
Fantastic book though, really enjoyed reading it. She seems like a lovely person. Good luck to her.
*****
Talking of being fortunate, I’m also very lucky because I have a low down colostomy so I don’t suffer with any dehydration issues a lot of stoma users have to deal with.
I think one of the reason why I’m so at peace with having a stoma is because it literally doesn’t make life life harder at all, far from it in fact, it’s location means I’m probably better off than most other people, whether they have stomas or not.
There’re a few things I can’t do because of it…but there’s so much more I can do now because of it.
I wouldn’t have the bravery to live the life I do without it. Which might sound weird to some people. But probably not surprising to anyone who has suffered horribly from something, which has then been cured by an operation.
I guess if I compare myself to someone who hasn’t got, or ever had any form of bowel issues, I would agree I’m worse off.
But that wasn’t my life experience. My bowels have been problematic since before I was 18, it was at 18 my childhood GP diagnosed me with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and piles (I know now this wasn’t a correct diagnosis, because it wasn’t based on anything other than a man deciding it. No tests were performed, not a single one) and that diagnosis followed me through my life with many and various GPs going along with this untested theory).
That didn’t work out well for me. I was symptomatic of cancer since I was 18; Pain, bleeding, bloating, constipation, diarrhoea and weight loss.
Not once in all the years of visiting GPs lead any of them to pursue any medical tests to confirm the original diagnosis. If only. If only. Two little words that mean everything.
It was only after the stress of Sam’s cancer diagnosis (six months before mine) that I decided enough was enough and I’d get those pesky piles looked at.
(Samuel, our eldest, was diagnosed with stage 3 nasopharyngeal carcinoma (cancer) when he was 13 in October 2009, having been misdiagnosed with “growing pains” for months (insert eye roll here)).
As you can imagine the stress of that took its toll on all of us, including him, obviously.
My symptoms had exacerbated greatly. I suppose it’s possible it accelerated it.
It was during the appointment with a private colorectal surgeon that he discovered the tumour. He wasn’t even looking for one. He simply wanted to look at the degree of the “piles” to see what treatment would be best.
So as you can imagine I’m very lucky to still be here, nothing has been a greater blessing.
Life was made all the more sweeter because I had been symptomatic for so long, it’s unusual to get away so lightly.
And yes, I consider myself lucky because all I have is a stoma, no ovaries, and a few tiny scars (and some other collateral damage that I manage with).
Is it ideal in the ideal world? Probably not, but I wasn’t in the ideal place at the time.
I was in a place of pain and fear of accidents. And I’m not there anymore, because of a very handy bag glued to my abdomen. In my opinion and experience that’s a win.
I am soooo passionate about getting people tested sooner, or as soon as possible for symptoms.
Understandably, I’m actually very pro getting colonoscopies from the age of 40 too.
Okay, so it wouldn’t have helped me because I was diagnosed at 36, but just think of the thousands of lives that could be saved if we had as standard colonoscopy procedures from 40.
If you have any symptoms of bowel cancer, of any cancer come to that go to your GP, and make it very clear you need further tests if your symptoms have been going on for 3 weeks or more.
You could buy a FIT test, many companies sell them. They’re a basic test for the symptoms of bowel cancer. They’re not 100% accurate as far as I’m aware, but it’s a start.
Seeing a GP is vital, but a GP actually listening to you is even more vital.
I tend not to take any chances these days.
Get it checked and tick it off the to do list.
Anyway, back to the holiday. I enjoy it perfectly well by myself there, but I prefer it even more when Chris comes.
It’s worth noting that I stuck to a previous statement I had made and didn’t ask to go shopping. I think that’s the first time in the 10 years that we started using it again (we bought it in 1999, but we stopped going there, or anywhere come to that, when I became very symptomatic. I stopped flying at all for the 8 years leading up to my diagnosis).
Back to the sunshine…
I posted this photo on Twitter, I feel very proud of my body, not for what if looks like particularly, although there are parts of it I’m happier with than others.
I feel happy I’ve never felt the need to spend a single penny changing cosmetic things. I feel extremely grateful for that. Do what makes you happy of course, but I’m happy, comfortable, confident and at peace in my natural skin.
Even at 50, even as a grandma… and even over the supposed BMI I ‘should’ be.
The reason I feel so content? I’m alive and well. And there is no better flex than being happy and grateful to be alive.
I am always surprised and amazed how well my bikini photos are received on Twitter. The one I posted a few months ago has gotten over fourteen thousand likes, and 405 thousand views on it.
…And most surprising of all, 682 kind and supportive comments. This is not the norm or the expectation I have of twitter. It can be the most verbally abusive environment in the whole (non) world.
I know a lovely young lady who posted a photo of a peculiar staircase in a flat she was viewing, you’d have to be Sir Edmund Hilary to enjoy the particular staircase, but she actually had death threats against her…because she posted a photo of a unconventional set of stairs.
So my expectation of Twitter is quite low. But I always have wonderful kind words said to me.
Now it could be that they think I’m so horrendously ugly and awful that people just feel dreadfully sorry for me.
But as long as I get the message across that having a stoma isn’t weird. or something to be ashamed of I’m not terribly offended by pity likes. ;)
So I posted again in a bikini. I think it’s a great way to show anyone that wants to can wear one. It was again well received, with utterly wonderful comments. I’ve been very lucky on there.
Being happy in your skin is so freeing. If you want to know the secret to being happy, start by treating yourself with kindness and respect.
On this particular occasion I have never been more happy to have a coldish hot tub in all my life. 40 degrees is way too much for me.
We had to wait until after sunset to feel a little more comfortable, but even then it was still 30 degrees (you can tell I’m English can’t you, we just can’t cope with weather).
I did laugh at the fact that it was bright sunshine at 40 degrees before Chris arrived, and as soon as he stepped off the plane it was pouring down with rain, still 38 degrees but absolutely pissing down.
It was what I imagine it being like in Mumbai in monsoon season, which I will do one day.
Dress from Hollister, Shoes from Gina, Hat from Ale Hop.
I am my family’s designated bitee, so I was covered in mosi bites.
*Praise where it’s randomly due, the strapless bra I’m wearing with this dress is the most comfortable I’ve ever worn. It’s super supportive, it’s got it’s work cut out for it! ;)
Where would such a great bra be from? …Primark!! Primark of all places. I’ve bought bras from Rigby and Peller that aren’t anywhere near as good.
Bag from Jimmy Choo.
I absolutely love this dress, it reminded me, slightly and vaguely of a dress I’d seen Marilyn Monroe wear in a photo shoot once (Marilyn has been my idol since I was about 15).
It felt nice on too, which is the main thing. Roomy enough to fit dinner in as well. Once Chris arrives in Spain there’s no eating stale bread anymore. Hahaha
We had the best time. I’m very lucky that we have a very good time wherever we are. He is my happy place.
Although being in the ice cream shop is always going to be bliss too.
Dress from Oliver Bonas, Shoes from Hermes, Bag from Strathberry.
We ate out (I never take that for granted, firstly that we are lucky enough to be able to afford to eat out is a blessing, and secondly being able to eat absolutely everything and anything now is a huge huge bonus).
The misdiagnosed years were a barren landscape of dull food. In the hope of not upsetting my “IBS” that never existed in the first place.
Food for me now is an indescribable joy.
We arrived back to the UK to…torrential rain and 14 degrees. So it’s a bit of a challenge, but at least you can add more clothes to keep warm. I wanted to shed my skin to try and keep cool over there. ;)
Top from M&S, Linen joggers from Tesco, Shoes from Hermes, Bag from Louis Vuitton.
Making the most of the dry spells.
We’re in the UK for a bit, we have a very exciting road trip in Ireland planned for next month so I’m really excited about that.
But for now, it’s just enjoy the cooler weather. And make the most of the sunshine when it comes.
Stay safe, keep cool, much love.
Xx