Right, well, first off, I’ve been a right fool, yes, yet again.
I’ve been having some bladder trouble (I have had a few bladder issues since radiotherapy and my colostomy operation. My bladder was badly affected by radiotherapy and damaged during the operation. I ended up with a catheter and leg bag for a fair while, so the fact my bladder works as well as it does is a miracle, as I had been warned the damage could be permanent).
It wasn’t too bad in the day times but night time has been horrendous.
I went from peeing 2-3 times a night as standard, to every 2 hours - this is the point I should have gone to see my doctor - but no, I thought I could manage.
Well, the final straw was waking up every 40 minutes for a wee. I rang my doctors yesterday. Took a urine sample in, and yes, I have a UTI infection.
How did I not feel I have a bladder infection? Well sometimes it’s possible to have a bladder infection without pain for normal people. But the reason I don’t feel it is because during my AP Resection and oophorectomy a lot of nerve endings were severed. So even when I have really bad bladder infections I don’t feel it in the same way someone without damaged nerves would.
It’s a blessing and a curse really, it’s handy to not feel pain, but not terribly handy when pain is an indication something is amiss.
Knowing this information, I should have sought help some time ago. I should have felt that peeing every 2 hours in the night was bad enough to require intervention.
I foolishly carried on as usual. Hoping it would just resolve itself.
I think I have a fear of GPs ever since my cancer diagnosis took over 10 years - with full cancer symptoms that whole time. I don’t trust they have my best interests at heart.
I don’t think I was hiding from the pandemic either. I just thought/hoped it would sort itself out.
I’m now hoping that it’s just an infection, my mind likes to both ignore what’s right in front of me AND panic about the what ifs and what could it be’s, all at the same time. My brain loves to catastrophize, hardly surprising as I have experienced catastrophes twice so far.
Please please please If you have anything health wise that is concerning you, please get it checked out. Don’t let fear or reticence hold you back. The doctors are still open and working, it’s their job to find out what’s wrong with you, it’s your job to let them. Basically - Be Less Suzy!!
It might be nothing, and of course that would be my hope, but it might be something that needs treatment. And I know that only too well, yet still I failed to get on top of things.
The sooner you seek help the better. Simple as that.
I’ll be fine, I’m on antibiotics now, plus the doctor is being extra cautious, with some other tests lined up, which makes a pleasant change for them.
The only slight inconvenience/embarrassment was having to stand in the carpark of the doctor’s practice, holding my bottle of wee (forgetting this would be the scenario I didn’t think to disguise it) and having to pass the bottle through the slightly opened window to the receptionist, who held out a tray at arms length. I did apologise to the lady in the queue behind me for having to see and hear about all my business. She said “don’t be silly, we’ve all been there”. Which really tickled me as I thought ‘have we all stood in a carpark at the doctors brandishing a bottle of urine?’ Hahahahaha
In all honesty, I didn’t mind handing it over that way really. The less time spent in buildings that are not my own, with people that are not my own the better!
I’m sure this episode is just a little blip. A run of the mill, nothing significant, UTI.
I will be trying to not freak out about what else could be going on. My default mode is a health anxiety episode. I will endeavour to shut that down.
Long story short and moral of this particular story - seek help quickly!
I feel ok, I’m good to go. A bit tired from overly night peeing, but ok.
I managed to have a nice week last week anyway. I’m pretty used to lack of sleep, so it’s not something that bothers me terribly, but definitely could do without it.
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My blog was born of a desire to show people living with a colostomy, can look nice, wear nice things and very much have a nice life.
Even through this pandemic, even with the ‘Stay at home’ order in place. I still think it’s important to dress well, even if it’s only occasionally. It might not be an every day thing maybe, but it’s definitely important for me to show, by dressing well and by living well, having a stoma isn’t the end of the world, like it can so often be portrayed or spoken of.
Even some surgeons have been known to call it the last resort or the worst case scenario.
I assumed it would be too. I’d not even heard any negativity towards stomas before I had one. I’d not really heard that much about them at all really. I didn’t know anyone with one to be honest.
I just assumed it was going to be a negative experience, maybe we’re all conditioned to believe it’s a negative.
It really really isn’t!! It’s actually pretty good. It actually has some real positives and benefits.
My life is so much bigger, bolder and brighter because of it, and that’s without taking into account that I’m only still alive because of it! That’s a pretty big positive I’d say! ;)
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I was mindlessly scrolling through Instagram at the beginning of last week and saw an influencer mention eye lid liner. Well I’m not very girly, I’m not good at doing make up, and I have very clumsy hands so I tend to steer well clear of lid liner, but she said to only do the last quarter of your eye lid. It occurred to me that even me, with my clumsy paws could attempt to do the last fraction of my eye.
So I ordered some bits online, and gave it a go.
Well, the results were very pleasing.
I didn’t say anything to Chris but he came in for his lunch, took one look at me and said “you look beautiful, that’s the best make up I’ve seen on you”.
I was a bit stunned to be honest. Delighted but stunned.
(He did also say that ‘sometimes’ I have a very defined line of foundation. I have made it clear that if he sees that at any time again in the future, he’s to actually let me know in real time, so I can correct it, as that information isn’t much good to me on a day my make up has gone well). Hahahaha.
I was doing a full head to toe update, I also ordered some cracked heel foot cream. Summer is approaching, and that means sandals and mules and my heels were so cracked they were catching on the carpet - like Velcro! Hahahahaha
They are a delight now. It took a bit of work, scraping half my foot away with one of those skin ‘cheese’ graters and a gallon of cream, but well worth the effort. I am summer feet ready! If that’s actually a thing.
Shirt from H&M, Leggings from Shien
I felt fantastic before Chris’s compliment, I felt even better after. It put a real spring in my step.
The sun has been shining here. Which always makes everyone feel so much better.
Sun on my weary bones, happiness in my heart, bowels behaving - even if bladder isn’t, life is pretty good right now. :)
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I had a my fortnightly meeting with my fellow team at Bowel Research UK. I love having something to do, something to fill my mind that isn’t pandemic pandemonium.
I love to get dressed up, even though it’s via Zoom, and not in London like it used to be. I really really miss my London trips though. So roll on my turn with the vaccine.
I have some real difficulties on Zoom, not technical ones you understand, just self obsessed, self critical ones. For the most part on Zooms, I focus on my own face, whilst attempting to not look fat and bull froggish with my 23 and a half double chins on full show!
But occasionally I catch a look of myself and think oh, you looked nice then.
Which reminds me of a funny meme I’ve seen so many times about seeing yourself on Zooms or FaceTime.
It’s a clip of the scene from Love Actually, where Kiera Knightly is looking through the wedding video and she turns to that fella from The Walking Dead and breathlessly says “I look quite pretty”.
Hahahahaha hahahahaha
I send the video clip of it regularly to my daughter in law, Kaitlyn, if I’m on one of my Zoom meetings.
We both love that meme.
Dress from Dorothy Perkins, Boots from Jimmy Choo
We had a great meeting. I very much enjoy volunteering. If you’d like to volunteer for Bowel Research UK, let me know and I can pass your details along.
So, with Zooms over for the week it was time for a very relaxed weekend, well it was until I saw the weather was going to be beaut again and I suggested we clear the garage out…again? You say!
Well yes, again, even though we hired 5 skips last year we still have a build up of boxes and general junk.
We are accidental hoarders. We don’t take pleasure from it but we’re just too lazy to go to the tip. ;)
I really wanted to put my car back in the garage. A friend of mine’s car was broken into and the innards were stolen!! Can you believe that?
The dash board, the steering wheel, the centre console part, all ripped from its body and taken in the night. What was left was just a windscreen and wires where all the inner gubbins used to be.
So I decided I wanted my baby back in the garage, stored out of harm’s way. I do not want to go out and find wires where once there was a dashboard and steering wheel.
The garage did need sorting out anyway. A kayak had fallen down from the rafter storage area. Thankfully no cars or persons were injured, but I wasn’t going to put it back up there for round 2.
I put the kayak, free to a good home, on my local Facebook page and it went it about 20 seconds. Never done it before but will definitely do it again. Some stuff is too good to bin, even if you don’t want it anymore, someone else might.
Reuse ~ recycle ~ stop buying shit! This is my new mantra. Hahahahaha
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Chris bought me a surprise present. I thought it very bold of him, bearing in mind it’s a brand I’ve never purchased from before. I thought he was very brave taking a chance with the size. But clever little bean that he is had all my exact measurements from when he made that blouse for me a few weeks ago.
I was so surprised when he gave me my parcel. I don’t think he’s ever attempted to buy me clothes before.
Fear not, I’ve not lost all my good taste. Yes, it’s a little gaudy and garish. This is solely a ski resort top. It amused Chris because it’s the first ski top he’s seen that has a true depiction of what I do on ski trips!!
That’s me! Sat on a deckchair, up a mountain, just watching as others risk life and limb. Hahahahaha
I absolutely love it! And it was really nice to have a surprise. Can’t wait to wear it in January.
What Chris didn’t know was I had arranged a surprise for him too!
Top from Spyder, leggings from Mint Velvet, Boots from Moncler.
I saw on Facebook that the fantastic restaurant in our village was starting to sell afternoon tea at home sets. Errrr, yes please!!
I love afternoon tea, and my home, so what a great combination! ;)
Chris was still de-cluttering the garage and I said, ‘I’m just going to pop these to the bottle bank’. I had saved up the bottles for the week as I knew I’d need a ruse.
Anyway off I go to said bottle bank and then on to 47 The Street, in Rayne (it reopens on 12th April if you want to reserve a table outside).
I picked up the food, it looked amazing. I came home and spied on Chris in the garden. I waited until he was busily taking stuff from the garage to the shed, and I quickly snuck in the house, without him knowing I was back, and arranged our delicious spread.
Should I be worried he hadn’t noticed it took far longer than it should, just to dump a few bottles in the bank at the end of the road? I’m hoping he’d notice sooner should I ever go missing. ;)
I then called Chris in for lunch and he was a bit surprised I was back, and so happy with lunch.
Does he love dainty afternoon teas? Well, no not particularly but he loves sandwiches! Like nobody I’ve ever met before.
Sandwiches bore me to tears to make, but if someone else is making it I’m all in.
He was pretty pleased with the selection. And the fact I’d thought ahead and planned to feed us was a real bonus!
Sometimes I do forget to do that. Our grocery delivery comes on a Monday and by the weekend we’re pretty much out of everything. We very often just live off of Linda McCartney vegan sausage rolls from the freezer at the weekends. Occasionally both days! Hahahahaha
The afternoon tea was delicious and really filling, totally worth getting the ‘good’, non dishwasherable - way too much effort to hand wash to use regularly - china out for.
We didn’t need any dinner Saturday night that’s for sure. :)
Sunday morning I got up bright and early. I had to anyway, I needed my 46th wee of the night.
I came down and started prepping for breakfast.
You know that snow week and everyone in the UK became paralysed by snow fear and supermarkets didn’t honour their delivery slots? Well, that experience taught me to research things to keep in the store cupboards and freezer.
One of my finds was ready to bake frozen croissants…I can’t lie, these are a game changer!
Fresh baked croissants, fresh juices from my milkman (he came during the snow week by the way, if you want anything delivered, leave it to a milkman. They are made of tough stuff!), coffee for Chris and black, decaffeinated tea for me. (Seriously, I’m so virtuous! I don’t drink alcohol, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, I can’t partake in caffeine in any form. So no tea, coffee or chocolate.
I could be Mormon at this rate!). ;)
You’d assume I’d be a lot thinner than I am with all those restrictions, but cake is still very much on the menu, so that explains that then. :)
We didn’t do much all day really. We worked on some garden project plans, and pottered about.
I changed my living room to its spring/summer collection.
Yes indeedy, living rooms have seasons too. :)
From dark cushions to fresh, light colour ones. A swap round of the art work, change of flowers, it makes a whole world of difference.
Summer is coming and it’s bringing hope with it.
I made a roast dinner, nothing unusual in that you might think. Until I tell you something phenomenal happened!
It was the first time in 27 years of being together that I haven’t burnt, some or all of it!!
AND I attempted my first honey glazed carrots! Cooked to perfection I might add.
This was a monumental moment!!
I was so shocked it wasn’t burnt, that I didn’t take a photo. I just scoffed the lot!
I cracked up, when I placed Chris’s in front of him. The difference to my usual offerings were instantly observed. Cheeky bugger, said “if I knew you were capable of this I’d have requested it more!”
hahahahahahaha
I can’t see it ever happening again, serving a non burnt, Christmas Day worthy roast is a lot of effort. I had about 5 different timers on the go, stressful doesn’t even begin to cover it. Hahahahaha.
I think we’ll be back to Linda Mac sausage rolls again from next week. ;)
The first time I made Chris a roast was 27 years ago, it was actually the first ever time I had ever attempted to make a roast at all. My mum and dad were on holiday, and Chris came round for me to cook him a meal.
I put the chicken in the oven and then we decided to go to the pub for a few drinks…4 or 5 hours later, we wobble back to mine to find the house full of smoke, the chicken burnt to a cinder on the outside, and miraculously, still raw on the inside. takes some doing I can tell you. ;)
Sorry about that mum, the house was fine, the chicken not so much.
I’m more of a one pot, put it in the oven and walk away and leave it type of gal. it’s so much easier.
Walking away and forgetting I can do with great skill. :)
So this week, I was planning on sitting on the settee sulking and grumping about having a poorly bladder. But as the antibiotics kicked in and the weird sensations (not pain, but definitely some discomfort in random areas of my lower abdomen) I decided to get dolled up and give faking it to make it a go.
I feel it really works.
It must do. I went off for a big day out! Rather than lay on my sick bed as planned, I headed to our local tip (rubbish dump) and cleared the last few pesky bits from the garage.
The queue to get in at the weekend is hours and hours long. I only queued for 40 minutes - winning! Hahahahah, big big day out as you can see, it’s the longest I’ve spent out of the house since October! :o
So that’s my game plan for the rest of the week. Even if I’m feeling a tad grotty, put my face on, put some nice clothes on and believe all is well. :)
Have a happy week too. xx