I had the most ridiculously awful week last week. So much so that I have been laughing at its absurdity!!
I tend to think and feel that I’ve got a pretty perfect life going on (it’s true to a degree, I have a great time mostly)…just sometimes life is just life, no matter your positivity, high hopes and higher expectations.
Monday through to Wednesday I felt so rough with the bladder infection.
But on top of that, what I hadn’t noticed was the antibiotics had caused savagely brutal constipation. So by Thursday I was rolling round in agony with my bowels.
So much so I thought I might need to go to A&E to have intervention.
I was too scared to do that so I took laxatives, which didn’t really work at all.
But when I woke up Friday, the blockage must have moved round from by my hernia area, because I felt quite chipper and pain free.
Anyway, because they hadn’t worked I decided to take more and more laxatives. (More on that later).
...and then due to feeling the best I had all week. I thought it would be nice to potter in the garden.
For reasons unknown I decided to pull out a plant that was stuck, so stuck in fact I had to use one foot to secure the pot and pull...and pop went my back!!
I can’t believe I was that stupid. The pain was immediate and oh so bad.
I abandoned the gardening, and the mess I had made and hobbled off indoors.
Then a few hours after that, and by this time I can’t move for back pain, the 7 laxatives I’d taken over some time decided to work all at once.
My bag filled up so much so I needed to change it - While it was still violently filling.
So with great pain (back) and an even greater sense of trepidation I went upstairs to change it.
By this time I was panicking about the potential for a great deal of mess. The only plan I could think of, to avoid damage to the bathroom entirely, was to strip completely naked, including rings, watch and bracelet and get in the bath to change my bag. My feeling was should the worst happen, it would be easier to wash the bath and tiles all down.
The only problem was I could hardly get in or out of the bath at this point, because of my back.
Anyway, long story short. I did manage it, without the torrent of output that I had been dreading. Because of the way the bag has been filling just prior. I had a great deal of concern.
I wear ileostomy, empty-able bags funnily enough, even though I have a colostomy, but because the out put that filled the bag first was too solid, (the stuff after was liquid, believe me) I wasn’t able to empty the solid bit out first. So the only option was to change it entirely, while it was active.
I managed to get a clean bag on. Thankfully. Without any expulsions or explosions.
It then filled up fully again, but ‘luckily’ with liquid, which meat I was able to just open the end up and empty it out, as the bags are specifically designed just for that, which was far easier.
All’s well that ends well I guess; bladder a little better, bowels far far emptier...back absolutely killing me. But Ce la vie
Note to self, 7 laxatives in 12 hours is too many, who knew!?!...apart from everyone on the planet!!
Do you know what this past week has taught me? It’s taught me even more gratitude.
My rotten week is probably a damn sight better than some people’s normal lives if living with chronic illness or chronic pain.
I know my back being in spasm is just temporary. I know the result of consuming too many laxatives is entirely down to me, and within my control.
The bladder infection, well, I have no control over it, so that’s a bit of a pain. I’m still peeing 4-7 times a night. The day times are okay, but I seem to have an issue once I lay down.
But even that I’m sure is temporary.
That makes me lucky. Some people don’t get so lucky. All my blips are unfortunate short term issues.
I live with someone with chronic, long term, back pain, he’s suffered for the last 30 years of continuous pain.
It’s probably been a good reminder for me of what he deals with day after day ~ uncomplainingly so too.
What he feels he’s expected to do, while his back flashes with such excruciating pain you think your spinal cord must surely be in the process of severing, it’s nothing short of astounding.
It’s really brought home to me how lucky I am on a day to day basis. I’m very grateful for my normal.
People living in long term pain or with long term health conditions are pretty incredible really.
When an illness or pain is invisible on the outside it can often be ignored, forgotten, denied or diminished by those around them.
It’s as if the human brain can’t comprehend other’s feelings or sensations if it can’t be seen to them.
I have friends with some pretty debilitating illnesses, from IBDs to MS.
I’m hoping my little blip is going to serve to make me better and kinder as a friend, well that’s the hope. An ally to poor health invisibility.
Well, my issues should resolve themselves, the antibiotics should work for the bladder infection, not over dosing on laxatives will resolve the bowel issue, and as annoying as it is, keeping active and staying mobile will help sort my back out.
The only thing you want to do with back pain is curl into a ball, the worst thing you can do for back pain is curl into a ball.
Just keep moving, no matter how frustrating and exhausting that is, keep mobile. And maybe add some light Pilates moves into the mix too.
So staying active is what I did.
A friend of mine has had a really awful reaction to her Covid jab, it’s most unfortunate, but also a bit of an awakening for me. I’ve been keeping myself locked away from harm’s way all this time, waiting for my jab. It’s possible, but of course unlikely that I could get a nasty reaction to the jab too.
With that being in the realms of possibility, I decided that as I needed to keep active anyway. I might as well go to the garden centre and pick some bits up that I’ve needed/wanted, the risk seems less now.
Does it put me off having the vaccine? Absolutely not! Am I looking forward to it as much as I was, no, probably not. ;)
But I am aware, that there are a lot of people that have had little or no reaction to it at all.
It’s like my flu jab. I’ve have them for the last 21 years, sometimes I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus, and other years it’s a sore arm and nothing more. it’s the risk we take for protection from a worse threat.
So off we go to the local garden centre, what a huge and momentous treat it was to be outside our home for once.
We couldn’t lift the stuff we wanted to buy (seeing as Chris’s back also went into a nasty spasm a few weeks ago and hasn’t eased off yet) we are having it all delivered on Thursday.
It felt good to be out and about, albeit cautiously.
We treated ourselves to a car wash while we were out too! Huge huge day out! Hahahahaha
What have we become?…I’ve flown to Venice for the day, twice, just for lunch in San Marco Square and here I am now, in 2021 delighted to go to a garden centre and a car wash, and be out of the house a total of 55 minutes hahahahaha.
I continued with my theme and mantra of fake it to make it.
Get up, get dolled up, be happy.
Blouse from The White Company, Tabard from Mint Velvet, Leggings from River Island, Boots from Tods, Sunglasses from Jimmy Choo
I noticed (saw it on This Morning, obviously) that tabards are on trend at the moment - fashion stops for no man, nor viruses! ;)
We’ll soon be free from our nests. I felt like updating my wardrobe, whilst selling off the clothes I’ve outgrown, and no, before you enquire as to whether I’ve grown taller then? no! I haven’t. ;)
I bought this lovely tabard from Mint Velvet, it was a bit spenny, but I loved it. I’ve had a look online (where else?) and found this rather lovely one too…
It comes in a variety of colours.
For a much more pocket friendly £16, in the sale in Oasis.
Tabards, sweater vests, tank tops, what ever you want to call them make great seasonal transitional pieces.
I’m intending on wearing it well into spring, and maybe with nothing underneath it (saucy minx) into early summer too.
I’m bound to wear it next winter too, as I like my arms to feel free and unrestricted, but still keeping my body warm and cosy.
I wore the bracelet Chris bought me for our anniversary too. Well, why the hell not, it’s the first big day out we’ve had in so long. Was I over dressed for a plant shop? Is there such a thing as overdressed? I think not! I think there is only dress how you bloody well want to!
Do I look great in these photos? Well that totally depends on whether you like my outfit, or me come to that!
Did I look great walking around? That is a most definite NO!
I was walking like I’d s**t myself, the irony is not lost on me that I can’t!!
Have you ever had a back spasm? If you know, you know.
But moving around does ease it. It worked a bit. Which I was grateful for.
We came home elated from our outing, and prepared our very special, Saturday at home, lunch treat.
I saw an item on This Morning about British fish and how most of what we catch was being shipped to the continent and that at the moment it’s going to waste as it can’t be shipped out.
We’re a bit basic in our palate here - cod, haddock, possibly a bit of plaice or sea bass if we’re feeling adventurous.
Well they mentioned a fish I’d never heard of, Megrim sole? Nope, I’d never heard of it either.
The fish people (who ever they are) are rebranding it Cornish Sole to see if that increases it’s appeal.
Well I really like fish, so I was keen to try it. I found a website, that looked very good. I showed it to Chris and he was in heaven. He loves shellfish…me, not so much, I like some, but certainly not all.
We put in a big order of Megrim sole, fruits de mer and some extra treats.
It arrived on Friday.
This stuff was super fresh. Now I’m not going to bang on about ‘buy British!’, I was and still am a very happy European.
But what I am passionate about is buying fresh! And this company delivered that.
We sat down to enjoy what we thought was going to be a good fruits de mer…only to find it was an incredible fruits de mer!!
If you like all things fish, or even just some things fish then I would definitely recommend TheCornishFishmonger.co.uk
It was the best crab either of us had had in over 30 years.
I first tried real, fresh crab at my aunt’s wedding well over 30 years ago. I thought it was delicious, I have tried it many many times since and have disliked it every single time. But this crab was like the stuff I’d tried all those years back.
Chris felt the same about it. We were a bit stunned really.
He said the oysters were spectacular too.
We both loved the brown shrimp and lump fish roe, or poor mans caviar, if you will.
It was such a lovely treat. And one we’ll repeat again, even when house arrest is over.
It was such a lovely way to spend the afternoon.
I cooked pomme frites to go with our fruits de mer, sounds fancy right? Basically, I cooked some oven chips (it’s all I had) to go with our seafood platter. ;)
All washed down with a medicinal cranberry juice for me, and a very much so medicinal 0.0 larger for Chris.
Sunday we had a bit of a lazy morning. I sent Chris a photo of pancakes…I like to think that subliminal messaging works…well it did in this case! Hahah
We didn’t have anywhere to go or anywhere to be. As frustrating and often boring as it is, I bet we miss that when the world goes back to the way it was.
I got dressed, in a dress, to allow for free flow of output. Although I needn’t have bothered because after I basically administered an oral colonic irrigation with laxatives I hadn’t had any output for two days!
It really gave me an insight into how freeing it must be to regularly irrigate a stoma. I had thought about irrigation when I first got my stoma, but dismissed it as a bit of a palarva. But it was nice to have an empty bag for 2 days. I did enjoy the experience.
Probably not enough to go into irrigation full time, but definitely seeing the benefits of bothering.
Dress from French Connection
So out of the last 7 days I managed to enjoy 2 of them. Two days is probably a damn sight better than someone living with a long term health issue got.
I’m sure I’ll have a better week this week.
It was interesting to see the world from the view point of being incapacitated.
I am definitely going to be enjoying and making the most of life, and not just when the world is back to normal, but in the here and now!
There is no reason for me not to make the most of life. On the whole I am very very blessed.
I ordered myself flowers and lemons to brighten up the kitchen in my grocery delivery this week. In order to make the place look very cheerful, it worked a treat.
When life gives you lemons…decorate the kitchen with them. :)
On the subject of looking cheerful, I treated myself to some little solar lights for my olive trees from the garden centre, those, I did managed to carry. ;)
I wasn’t sure if they’d be a tacky abomination or a cute addition to the garden. It’s always a fine line with lights and garden ornaments. But I think they look really nice.
Why shouldn’t gardens be a night time pleasure too?
xx