A strange but a welcome surprise happened last week. Long story short. We moved to this house nearly 15 years ago now, but before we moved, we decided to make the job that much easier by filling a storage container with some of our stuff (we’re borderline hoarders, so we had/have a lot of stuff).
Anyway we forgot about it, just totally slipped our minds, until someone contacted us last week to say come and get your stuff.
Well, with nothing else on the cards we decided to go see what was up there, as we had forgotten completely.
We were shocked! Shocked I tell you!!
There was so much stuff that we had forgotten was in there. Soooooo much. So many memories contained within.
We opened the door and straight away I could have cried. There, inside on the floor of this time capsule was the doll’s house my grandad made for me.
I looked for it in our loft in last summer, I was devastated and horrified to think that we must have thrown it away at some stage. I couldn’t believe how reckless I’d been. But as it wasn’t there, I assumed I must have, at some stage thrown it away.
I can’t describe how happy I am to have it back where it belongs.
He made it by hand, and it’s a replica of our family home, the house my parent’s have lived in since 1969.
So not only is the doll’s house itself special, but the house it’s based on is still my parent’s home, which means so much more.
I (we) now have a little lockdown project. I want to restore it to its former glory. We had made a start just over 15 years ago, Chris rewired the lighting back then, but that’s as far as we got.
So we’ve ordered new rendering for the front and back. New carpets throughout. And a lot of paint.
Hopefully it will be as good as new in no time.
My mum and dad in their adorable matching painting overalls. My mum made these as she can literally make anything and everything.
There is no limit to her practical skills. Woodworking, metalworking, art, calligraphy, decorating, sewing. cake making (she made our 3 tier wedding cake amongst many others), there is no end to her talents. Oh and she edits this blog for me as I have dyslexia.
You know that saying that you marry someone like your dad, well I think I married someone like my mum. ;)
I don’t think you have to be Einstein to work out I sought out all the attributes in a life partner that I lack in life.
My mum’s practical abilities skipped a generation. I inherited none of it. :)
Me looking adorable in 1977, aged about 4 with my doll’s house.
The little dolly bunk beds next to me was made by my mum, including the wooden part and all the dressings. Told you she could do anything. She still can too, she’s currently making dolls for the food bank people to give away next Christmas to children who wouldn’t normally be getting anything.
She’s also making me one too, she’s named her little Suzy. :)
We found so much of our history, it’s hard to believe we dumped it in a time capsule for 15 years and walked away.
We found Chris’s first toy, his panda bear, All the boys trinkets from birth and some rather fantastic construction based toys, which will be absolutely perfect for Zak to play with.
We found jewellery that I had no idea was missing, and many many trinkets and absolute gems of memories of our past.
Chris found his little box of keepsakes, amongst which was the scrap of paper I had written my phone number on the night we met over 27 years ago.
In that box he found the ticket stub to Miss Saigon, a show that he booked for us to see.
In my box of keepsakes and trinkets, I found my Miss Saigon stub too.
We met in the August and by the October, when we saw the show I had completely and utterly fallen in love with him.
I remember so well that day going up to London to see the show, he drove up. We first visited my auntie Linda in Fulham, and then headed into central London.
He had booked parking, I remember it so clearly, it was this weird set up.
We drove into a very nondescript looking entrance. We got out of the car, a chap came and collected the keys from Chris…and more importantly Chris readily handed them over…all while I stood there shocked! And this ladies and gentlemen was my first introduction to ‘valet’ parking!! Hahahahaha
I spent the next hour or so checking with him that it’s safe to just hand your car over to someone. Hahahahaha
I didn’t get out much before that. Hahahahaha
The show was fantastic, and is still one of my favourites, though that isn’t difficult as most stage shows make me feel uncomfortable and cringey. They give me the ick.
I’m pretty dead inside and can’t bear seeing people ‘pretending’ on stage, but weirdly will happily sit at home and watch TV, where most of it is people also pretending, or as it’s usually described - acting!
I discovered the little silver crucifix my mum and dad bought me for Christmas when I was 10, I couldn’t believe it was in there. I felt quite ashamed that I had forgotten all about our precious possessions.
I found every engagement card, wedding card, birth card, christening card, birthday card, every card under the sun basically. Why I kept them I have no idea. They’ve all gone to the great card heaven in the sky now, or they will next recycling day. ;)
I also found the little hats the boys had come home from hospital in.
I found their hospital wrist bands and the clip that had been attached to their umbilical cords too! I have since thrown them away, as by consensus of opinion, it’s apparently proper gross to still have them!! I mean it’s not like the cord was still attached or anything.
I couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. Hahahahaha
So we had the most amazing trip down memory lane all weekend!
There were so many memories and mementos. So many treasures from the past. It was wonderful to firstly have any plans for the weekend at all.
Chris had mentioned our intention to go to the storage container at the weekend on the Friday at work and some people seemed decidedly envious, not for what we were doing, but for the fact we actually had something to do! ;)
As you can imagine 15 years is a long time to just be sitting there, waiting to be remembered and rescued. Once we unloaded the stuff back at home, we hopped in the shower to get the grime and musty smell off.
Something else very exciting happened too! The sun shone, not only that, it was actually warm too! Warm by UK in February standards that is.
It felt glorious, and I felt hopeful. Where last week I felt like I’d hit a wall, the weekend felt like I’d leaped over it! Olympic hurdler style!
It’s amazing what a bit of sunshine and warmth can do for your soul.
All dressed up in honour of the sun.
Dress from H&M, Boots from Christian Dior
I had renewed hope and vigour for the year ahead. Where last week I felt my tolerance levels had waned, not quite to rock bottom, but possibly not far off, potentially completely losing it if one more thing had tipped me over the edge.
I miss my people. My boys, my grandson, my parents, my friends. It’s all a bit much now.
But the sunshine brought with it a sense of hope. A sense that this will be over one day.
This too shall pass, and all that. That’s what sunshine did for me.
So with something to do, ie sifting through clutter that we’d not seen in 15 years, and with sun on our bones, I felt good.
We had a very classy picnic, I had planned a carpet picnic but we were so hungry after our declutter, we headed to McDonald’s!! Oh it’s the high life for us indeed!
Chris had his usual and I had mine…fillet of fish, fries, vanilla milkshake and an apple pie. I say my usual, but until just before Christmas, I had not had a McDonald’s in 25 years!
Since that moment I have had about 4!!
I don’t eat meat outside my house. I only eat chicken and fish inside my house as it is anyway, but I pretty much go pescatarian or vegetarian out in the real world, unless I really really trust the place and feel comfortable, then, just then, I might be tempted to a bit of chicken.
For example;
McDonald’s I will eat the fish mac hahahahaha.
My local Indian restaurant I will eat Dansak sauce and rice, or basically any lentil or chickpea dish. (There is absolutely nothing wrong with our local favourite Indian restaurant, I just prefer vegetarian options with Indian food).
Chutney Mary I will eat the Afghan chicken, Chilli king prawns and the Butter chicken, actually anything chicken and fish related.
Brilliant!! Now my mouth is watering! We will be back soon CM! Xx
Anyway, we sat scoffing our McDonalds in the carpark, with the roof down. We’re so fancy!!
It felt nice to be outside. In the fresh air, or as fresh as the air can be by a roadside fast food outlet.
We came home and continued to unpack our treasure trove. We found lots of bits and bobs that were still very useable. I thought Kim’s girls might like them, so I’ve put them aside for them. I had for some reason bought little dollies, Barbie’s and dressing up bits. Can’t remember why now. I think it’s because most of my friends had daughters. I used to buy things to entertain them on visits.
Everything we found needed a thorough wash. It was a risk to wash a 51 year old cuddly toy but it was too smelly to stay otherwise, so I took a chance.
He is now very happily settling into his new - forever home. Chris is happy he’s back too.
Kim suggested I add Zoflora to the wash, to further disinfect the finds. Great tip!!
I now have some more cuddly toys and some dressing up costumes that are smelling much fresher after their Zoflora, boil washes.
It seemed worth the risk, as it was bin them or risk boiling them to death.
Sunday was yet another sunny and bright day. We continued to sift through our haul from the storage container.
We also got outside and lapped up the sunshine, whilst trying to make room for the new clutter we brought home. After 5 skip hires last year de-cluttering. Oi yoi yoi.
It wasn’t quite as warm as the day before but it was still spectacularly good to feel warmth from the sun!
My god I’d love to go on holiday right now.
Two years ago we were in Goa, finishing up our whistle stop tour of India. Sitting on the golden sand under the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen.
Right now I’d settle for sitting on Clacton beach, watching the sea roll in and out.
(Clacton, Essex wouldn’t usually be somewhere I yearn for but I really love beaches and there’s no chance to get to one for now).
We clearly are feeling more optimistic. We’ve booked another holiday!!
So in November we’re going to Iceland and NYC, and in January we’re going to Bulgaria skiing. I can’t ski, or rather I can and I have but I didn’t like it, so I don’t. But I do love hot chocolate up mountains.
There’s quite a big group of us going, so that should be fun.
Ben, Kaitlyn and a fair few of their friends, plus us (we tagged along), plus a few of our friends too.
I actually believe we’ll get to go too!
I believe that we’re doing so well with the vaccine roll out here that we might be able to go away before our November trip too.
Hopefully we’ll get to go to our house in Spain, maybe in August or September, something we didn’t get a chance to do for the whole of last year. I can’t wait to see it again.
We’re planning on driving over, so I’m readily buying more stuff to take with us.
I’m planning new ornaments, new cushions for the living room, and new bedding.
I’m also going to be taking a pack of kitchen paper towel from Costco. Why take paper towel in bulk on holiday?
Well, I have yet to find some over there that is good enough quality to use at bag change time. It’s all a bit thin, useless and disintegrates.
I like a really good quality kitchen towel. I need it to withstand being wet to wash my stoma and absorbent enough to dry it.
I don’t mind cheap kitchen towel for the kitchen. But at bag change time I ‘treat’ myself to the Rolls Royce of paper towel! Hahahahaha
I do get dry wipes supplied by the NHS, and I’m very grateful for all my free stoma supplies. I think all of us in the UK are glad of that. But I find the dry wipes are great for the washing part of bag change time, but not absorbent enough to dry it.
The car will be loaded with an eclectic mix of bits and bobs. We’ll look like the Clampets arriving in Beverly Hills. Hahahahaha
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Boris made his Roadmap announcement, blah blah blah, schools are going back on March 8th, fantastic for parents and children alike! More blah blah blah, a touch of waffling for good measure…and then on Monday, March 29th, six people can gather in an outside setting!! Hallelujah!! At last! We can see Zak on the first weekend after that! I cannot wait.
He’s wonderful on Zoom and FaceTime. But I want to see see him. It can’t come soon enough. I’m counting down the days.
We’re all free from June 21st, and as long as Chris and I are vaccinated we’ll be joining the throngs of people flocking to whatever establishments we can get booked into. A lot of people miss Pubs the most, but as non drinkers, we like pubs but don’t love them.
But I miss hotels and restaurants and holidays!
So look out world here we come…well, the world bit might have to wait, there’s no date set for travel outside the UK yet.
So with hope in my heart and the sun shining all week, I’ve actually been out doing some gardening. I have always been cautious about physical activity with my stoma, but my Pilates classes with The Ostomy Studio have really given me a greater confidence to give things a try.
Today I cleared the weeds from Zak’s Christmas garden. A place where I grow all Christmassy foliage for use on wreaths come Christmas time. Plus I planted a potted tree from Christmas 2019 when Zak came to stay. He can cut it down when he’s a big boy to decorate his home.
I managed two hours of weeding. My hernia started to niggle, so I thought I’d listen to my body and pack it in for the day.
As with anything with a stoma, you can do anything you like, but it’s wise to listen to your body. I often miss the cues and end up with really bad pain. But I’m older and wiser and I think stronger since I started stoma Pilates.
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I was contacted by someone asking if I know of any men that blog about stomas. They’re a bit thin on the ground. It’s actually something that has struck me as a peculiarity about stomas.
I thought men wouldn’t be bothered by them in the slightest. I just assumed that men being just grown up versions of little boys that love wee, poo and fart humour they’d be completely at peace with stoma owning.
It came as a huge shock to me that men can often find it incredibly difficult. I mean a lot of people find it difficult to acclimatise, but men, in my experience more so.
I have no idea why, maybe women are more used to intrusive procedures, childbirth being the most horrendously awful exposure of one’s body and soul anyone can go through …but that can’t be it as not every woman with a ostomy has had a baby, or even wants one.
Maybe it’s perceived as a weakness to need medical intervention? And some men find that difficult.
I’m telling you here and now, if you’ve survived stoma surgery you are not in any way shape or form weak. It’s incredibly tough to get through.
Rather than making me feel weak, once I had recovered from the initial surgery I felt invincible!! Seriously!
Knowing what I’d gone through. Straight after the surgery, laying in the hospital bed, I wasn’t sure that I would get through it. But once I was feeling better, although saying that I felt crap, crap but incredible at the same time.
It’s such a complex feeling. I was fatigued, I still am come to that, but I felt/feel high on life!
I know surviving cancer and surgery is nothing short of miraculous! And I feel that every single day.
Anyway there’re a few younger men that I follow, not in a creepy stalker way, just in the Instagram sense, you’ll be pleased to hear. They are fantastic advocates for stoma life for both sexes, but most importantly for other young men to admire and aspire to be as open and comfortable with their stomas.
Blake and Mesha are fantastic role models for the IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) community.
I came to my stoma via cancer, and although I was symptomatic for at least 10 years before it was finally diagnosed, I didn’t have a bowel disease, which can be very debilitating.
I had a disease of the bowel which was equally debilitating, because I was bleeding from my tumour and had pain so ferocious that I used to sleep biting on a flannel to cope with the pain. My symptoms were cured first by radiotherapy, and then surgery.
I feel very lucky with that.
It’s very different to having an IBD. IBD’s can be so cruel and life changing.
It was different for me, I remember having radiotherapy very clearly. My oncologist would tell me how ill I’d feel and how tired I’d feel…and yes to a degree he was correct, but what he couldn’t articulate was how good I would feel too, simultaneously with feeling rough.
I was feeling better and the pain was easing as the tumour up my bum was shrinking, all while feeling rotten due to the effects of the radiation. It was a most peculiar experience.
But one I’m very grateful worked.
Both Mesha and Blake will probably boost anyone’s confidence to live life well after stoma surgery. But hopefully they will reach men, that otherwise would feel alone and isolated because of it.
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Some fantastic photos were found in the container. It’s been a wonderful walk down memory lane.
Me at 18, I found the necklace in the unit too!
Me at about 28
Our holiday to Scotland to take our Scotty dog Hamish to see the land of his forebears.
Apparently Chris and I lived in the Victorian era…
Ben loving an early morning trip on Pirates of the Caribbean.
The hobby horse my mum made me, she made all the children in the family one too I believe, I have a lot of cousins, she had a production line going I imagine.
What fun and larks we had looking at ourselves throughout the years.
I found all my school reports too. As did Chris, they are hilarious! He was and always has been a genius, me, not so much.
One of his reports said that his work was exemplary but he does have a tendency to hang round with ‘undesirables’…it actually said that!! He was in junior school at the time (aged about 9 or 10), the people being referred to as undesirables were children!! Hahahahaha
I love this report of mine, (see below) I’m being critiqued on being happy? What the actual F?
The reason I’d lose interest is I had/have Dyslexia, Dyscalculia and Dyspraxia (I only found out when I was 30, when we found out Sam does, and then Ben too). (Dysgraphia is in the mix amongst the 3 of us too), lucky little that we are. ;)
The reason I was probably giggling was more from the nervousness of not having a clue what was going on! But still, let’s bash the kid for still having a smile on her face in a world that was so scary and alien to her she wanted to curl up into a ball.
I think my silly giggliness has got me through some pretty tough times. So I’m happy with who I am. :)
As long as you have a happy heart you can cope with anything, learning disadvantages, cancer, a child with cancer, it’s all the same, it’s all just a hurdle to get over, mind you, hurdles weren’t my strong suit either,
I won’t show you my PE reports, they’re hysterical. Sporty I ain’t! Hahahahaha
Oh and how cute is little Suzy…
My mum is very clever. xx