I hit a wall last week, I think I felt the full effects of the restrictions; cooped up and utterly fed up.
I think lockdown lethargy took its toll and I found my tolerance level was tested to the max.
So, yes, like a lot of people of late, I felt like I’d hit the proverbial wall.
…but then I remembered a wonderful quote that I’d seen the other day on Twitter.
“Walls aren’t negatives, walls are for leaning on and resting against...”
That was exactly what I needed to hear. So that’s exactly what I did. I took some me time (I don’t really know what that means, but it sounds very grown up and modern).
For me it meant reading my book, plus I went out and walked in the snow - which was a bit dangerous/fun, as it had turned to ice. I was trying to avoid taking a tumble. I love a falling over video as much as the next person, but I don’t really fancy featuring in one. ;)
I rang Ben, Sam and Zak as much as possible, hopefully without driving them mad.
I can’t wait to see them all properly again. FaceTime has been a god send but I’d very much like some face to face time soon. :)
I can’t help but feel happy surrounded by a blanket of snow. It really does just tidy everything up. I’m all for throwing a blanket over stuff to hide mess.
Thankfully the week didn’t drag on as it sometimes does.
I had two meetings with Bowel Research UK, which can only mean one thing, it’s hair wash time!! Hahahahaha
I get dressed to face the world outside. I think it helps give me some focus. The meetings give me something to think about and do rather than fret about being separated from family, and in turn eating my feelings about said separation.
I love volunteering with Bowel Research UK, please get in touch if you’d like to as well.
Our main role is to help researchers with their research. We’re a sounding board for ideas, innovations and inventions. We are only here to give feedback, there’s no physical involvement, no blood tests or anything like that.
It’s really very interesting. I have enjoyed volunteering and being part of the Patient Involvement Panel for a number of years now. I have been especially grateful to have something to do, and a reason to get washed and dressed and feel helpful for the last year.
Anyway, Wednesday was a new panel to me. So that was interesting and very enjoyable.
I like meeting new people, even though it’s via zoom.
Dress from H&M, Tights from Tesco, Boots from Ugg with Jimmy Choo.
I bought these boots years back, they haven’t see any action or seen the light of day for years probably. But they are so warm and cosy. and as I needed to go to the post office after the meeting they were fabulous.
My other weekly highlight, other than a meeting or home Pilates. is going to the post office! :)
I now go once a week to my local one, it’s run so safely, I feel confident and comfortable going.
You wait outside in the fresh air. (In the freezing cold last week, but I’m happy with that). You go in one by one. There is hand gel galore.
I think this practice should remain. Who wants to be in a confined space, with the next customer breathing down your neck. Literally. I really don’t miss interaction with strangers, who don’t have a great grasp on social boundaries and etiquette when it comes to standing too close! Hahahahaha
I’m currently ridding myself of my pre corona lockdown life clothes...I’ve come to the conclusion that they’re never going to fit again so I might as well sell them.
It can be a bit heart breaking, bearing in mind how much I paid for some of it. I sold a gorgeous Mulberry outfit, that I’ve only worn once, last week. Absolutely gutting, but also absolutely pointless keeping it. I forgot to put a reserve on it so that accidentally sold for pennies.
You don’t get much for any of it really but it is better than just staring at clothes you have no earthly hope of getting back into.
It has taught me not to buy too much in future. Even when we go back into the world. I really don’t need anything. I want things, but I certainly don’t need them.
I had a fantastic Pilates class with Sarah at The Ostomy Studio on Thursday. I missed last week’s class for one reason or another, and I have to be honest. I really missed it emotionally too. It really is a pick me up to be partaking in the class.
It lifts my mood, I was so inspired by a fellow attendee, who was only 4 weeks post stoma surgery!! Four weeks!! How incredible is that!?
At 4 weeks post my surgery I was still feeling rotten, and had a urine leg bag attached, as my bladder had broken during the operation.
If you are facing surgery it really is a good idea to strengthen your core. And clearly it is possible to attend the class at home fairly soon after surgery too.
I enjoy it, it’s giving me greater confidence in my bodies abilities.
Plus who doesn’t want to be more bendy? :)
So the week went fairly quickly, even though it feels like walking through tar at times.
I haven’t seen my gorgeous grandson in months and months, but at least my cupboards are clean and tidy! Hahahahaha. I pick a cupboard a day to sort through. It takes up a bit of time in the day and you get a tidy cupboard. At this point I’m taking my wins where I can. ;)
I was so looking forward to the weekend. We were sitting watching TV on Friday night, when I decided to ask Chris if he had remembered to get me an anniversary card for Sunday…I say I asked, but actually, in reality, I said it in a very suspicious, and borderline accusatory fashion. And as Chris went to answer, a flash of a memory I’d had during the week hit me. Here’s the memory; at some stage some cards arrived, one card in particular caught my eye as it was only addressed to me, I thought at the time who on earth sends an anniversary card addressed only to one half of the couple, how very odd.
It was only as I was scathingly asking Chris if he’d sent a card, that it occurred to me there Is one person who’d only address one of part the couple…and that’s the other half of said couple! Hahahahaha
Oh how we laughed! ‘We’ didn’t! Hahahahaha
The weekend was a big deal. I was really excited. Saturday we took delivery of our at home treats feast from F&M.
I decided to make an effort both Saturday and Sunday. Hair washes two days in a row, god I’m spoiling myself as you can see!
OK, so we were still at home, not doing much at all. But I wanted to look nice for not doing much.
We had a hair raising moment when we opened our food parcels to find the main meal was missing, but thankfully it turned up half an hour later. So three deliveries later we had all our special wedding anniversary fair.
Yeah, I think we had enough… hahahahaha
Dress from Ghost. Top from M&S, Tights from Tesco, Boots from Christian Dior
It just seemed to me that if we couldn’t do anything or go anywhere, then making an effort would make it feel special.
We ordered 1 wicker hamper full of sweets and treats, and 3 fresh food orders of breakfast, lunch and dinner for Sunday.
Although we did tuck into the lunch goodies on Saturday too.
I can recommend the F&M vegetarian Scotch eggs, and Chris was more than happy with his black pudding Scotch eggs, and his pork pie. All rather yummy.
Anyway after lunch we were settling down to watch TV. And I had the idea to give Chris one of his anniversary presents early…because it suited me…you can kind of build a picture that I’m a bit of a self absorbed B, I promise that’s only partly true! Hahahahaha.
Anyway, Chris was delighted with his present!
I saw it on This Morning last week and thought it looked pretty darn good.
We love plain popcorn, as long as it’s hot. And boy does this machine deliver.
It’s only powered by hot air too, so there’s no fat whatsoever.
Which means you get delicious hot, healthy popcorn in about 90 seconds.
Although, I don’t advise using it in the living room as it spewed it out all over the place. If only Pepper was still here she’d have thought she’d died and gone to popcorn heaven. She loved popcorn so much. She’ll be kicking herself for not hanging round for this purchase. :)
Bargain price too, would recommend. Five stars!
So for the rest of Saturday we just slobbed on the settee eating our body weight in popped corn. And it was wonderful.
Then we come to Sunday! The big day! Well, the big day 25 years on!
Sunday was both Valentine’s Day and our silver wedding anniversary.
And I think that’s kind of a big deal in this day and age.
Have I got any words of wisdom for anyone looking for love? Yes, the best advice I can give is don’t marry a dickhead! This applies to men and women alike.
Choose someone nice. I like nice, I didn’t always believe I deserved nice. But then I met Chris, he seemed too good to be true, but turns out I was wrong.
He is the most incredible human being I’ve ever met, no one comes close. He has the kindest heart, an intelligence that is way beyond mine, yet he never makes me feel it. He’s just good people. :)
I put up with such rotten boys before I met Chris.
I really thought that’s what life was meant to be. I was dumped on two consecutive years, on Valentine’s Day, by two different boys, before I met Chris.
Which is one of the reasons we got married on that day. I wanted to rewrite my story, I wanted the happily ever after.
The other reason is because it just seemed fun and quirky. They also had the 29th February available, which Chris was proper keen on, and I was too until the registrar mentioned I’d only get a present once every four years!! Hell no!!
So there we are 25 years ago getting married, me only 22, him only 26, both of us clueless to what life was going to bring us. But hopeful and happy.
We had a very small wedding. Family, and the closest friends. We married in Langton’s registry office in Hornchurch, and our ‘reception’, if you can call it that, was in Chris’s parents living room. No big shebang, no first dance. Just prawn vol u vents and sandwiches cut into triangles.
I only had a wedding dress 4 days beforehand. I was planning on wearing a cream suit I already owned, but my mum was very keen for me to have a dress, so I wouldn’t regret it later. My dad must have been just as keen, as he came dress hunting too, his one and only trip to Lakeside Shopping Centre I believe. Hahahahaha.
We found the perfect dress in Monsoon. My mum and dad bought it, and a shawl and little fake marabou trimmed gloves and I was good to go!
Our wedding in total cost under a £1000. Even back then it was a minuscule budget.
My wedding shoes were Chris’s previous fiancé’s bridesmaids shoes, for their ill fated wedding. What?! They fit me! There was no point in buying a new pair just to wear for a few hours.
Why didn’t Chris marry that previous fiancé? Well, to put it bluntly he lost his job and she ditched him, for an undertaker I believe. I suppose there’ll always be job security with that! Hahahahaha
And Chris…lucky boy, had a lucky escape. Like I said earlier, don’t marry a dickhead.
So our wedding was small, very very small but beautifully formed. I wanted a marriage, not just a wedding day. And it seems like I got what I asked for.
We’ve been through quite a lot that life can throw at you in the last 25 years. But more than anything we’ve been blessed. Blessed with our friendship, blessed with our beautiful boys and now blessed with a grandson. We’re lucky. Very very lucky.
I knew, and he knew. xx
We made it to 25! And now I’m looking forward to 25 more and 25 more after that…and who knows, maybe 25 more after that too! :)
Sunday morning was time to exchange gifts, Chris was one down because he opened it the day before.
But that didn’t bother him.
I gave him a book I thought he’d like and he handed me this…
As I started opening it a chink of light flooded out, and then as I opened fully I was greeted with this!!
I laughed so hard! He really excelled himself! I absolutely loved it! From now on I want all my gifts to be illuminated! Hahahahaha
He bought me a beautiful bracelet. It’s spectacular! And more than that it makes me feel warm, fuzzy and full of laughter when I look at it, remembering his crackers gift boxing.
So he got a book and a popcorn maker and I got a gorgeous bracelet. Everyone’s a winner.
Actually I’m doing myself a disservice here, because I actually bought him two books. I bought one on the works of William Blake, an artist Chris likes, but I can’t stand, and one on the poems of Emily Dickenson, who we have both come to admire, due to Dickenson, on Apple TV, it’s a fantastic show!
Neither of us knew anything about Emily Dickenson before we watched the show, and as it’s a comedy-esqe show, we probably still don’t know much about her. But we love the show and the poems.
We followed gift giving with the first part of our Fortnum & Mason treats at home…
We had the smoked salmon breakfast hamper.
It was delicious, although I did push my luck with eating the rye bread and scrambled eggs. I preempted any possible issues forming later on by taking some laxatives. Gentle ones, nothing horrid. I wanted to enjoy the day, and eat what I like but still be mindful that I have bowels that like to do the opposite of expectation.
I then got hair washed and dressed up again. This time my outfit choice was very very special to me.
Why is it so special? Well, it’s very simple, Chris made this blouse from scratch. He’d never made anything before a few weeks ago. But he made this, and made it beautifully! I absolutely love it!
He is so clever, or sew clever!!
He can do everything! I can do nothing! I can’t help but think he got a raw deal marrying me. ;)
I do make him lovely lunches though. So I have my uses. He’s working from home, so I like to spoil him. He said the other day, he’s no longer working from home, he now feels like he’s living at work! Hahahahaha
Dressed to the nines, we dined like kings.
We chose the F&M Valentine’s, vegetarian, non alcoholic meal for two. And it was amazing!!
A delicious antipasti selection to start, with burrata, which was without a doubt the best buratta we’ve ever had.
To follow we had Celeriac lasagne.
This did cause us some trepidation, as neither of us had ever had celeriac before…we don’t get out much. Hahahahaha
There was no need to fret, it was absolutely amazing. Besides, it comes in a Denby dish, so if nothing else, if we hadn’t liked it, we’d have still got a lovely new dish to keep. ;)
The sparkling non alcoholic tea was very tasty.
The meal came with a menu, which was a cute touch.
I’m now a huge celeriac fan! :)
It was the best day it could be in the circumstances. It was a lovely way to celebrate. We have a nice home, we have each other. What more could we want?
My bestie bought us a beautiful F&M picnic set for our anniversary. It’s absolutely beautiful, we’re planning a picnic next weekend. The weather can’t even ruin it as we’re planning a carpet picnic for the living room. It’s the perfect solution for unpredictable weather and insects.
All in all it was a good day, yes, I would have preferred to be lying by the pool at the Oberoi hotel in Jaipur. But then, I’d prefer to be doing that than most anything else in this life.
But it was a lovely day. A day to remember. In a truly forgettable time.
I think I’m doing ok 25 years on. Older, wiser, wider maybe but just as happy and as content as I was then. Probably more so. Because I know how the story goes.
Heres to happily ever afters…