Last week I left my blog by saying about the things that help perk me up. One of which was walking in greenery, and one was walking in snow…
….well….
Dreams really do come true!
We went out for over an hour, walking and drinking in the scenery. For me it really is one of the most relaxing things in the world.
I wish it happened more often, and I really wish my weather app didn’t keep saying it’s going to snow when it’s clearly not!
But I am grateful for the tiny smattering we had. Even though it didn’t even last the day…
The next day was bright sunshine, not a drop of snow left anywhere and not even particularly cold. If you live here you know to expect anything, if you’re coming here (post pandemic - pack for every weather you’ve ever heard of hahahahaha).
The fact that the next day was sunny and pleasant worked out very well for me.
You know I joked that I’m a one woman job creation scheme, well I wanted to do something by myself, start to finish.
Which I did actually achieve, and I think it’s safe to say that both of us are as shocked as each other by this event!
My usual pattern; suggest something, help a bit…walk away and look at pretty things while others carry on… ;)
But as my hernia has been behaving itself (more on that later) I felt it was important and necessary for me to get on with a garden project by myself.
I’m kind of building it up here, possibly a tad too much, it’s not like I built a tree house or coppiced a wood. I literally put down some weed control fabric, shingled the area, and moved the pots on to it.
It doesn’t sound much, but when you are living in fear of upsetting a very cantankerous hernia, and feel the threat of more hernias impending you tend to shy away from doing anything.
Ta-dasaaaaa!
Ah, I see, it’s ok, you were expecting something a little more impactful or spectacular, right?
I built it up too much didn’t I?
This is huge for me though. Not only did I feel up to doing it! I actually carried it through by myself.
There are changes in this body of mine. More than you can see.
I also decided that since my blood tests came back normal the other day, and that my problem with vertigo and other things were pointing more and more towards inner ear issues, I decided to get stuck in to sorting myself out. I don’t particularly want to see a specialist if I can avoid it, I want to hold off doing anything till I get my vaccine jab, but obviously, if I really do need to see someone I will. Don’t put anything off that needs seeing to. Please. xx
So I Googled what can help with inner ear issues and my oh goodness I found a lot of material online.
I found some head exercises from an ENT that were incredible! Borderline life changing in fact!
I can send you the video via WhatsApp or email if you want.
I had a cracking headache Saturday night, which is what prompted me to Google (in a positive way. With positive, affirmative action. Not in the ‘why do I have a headache’ way…And Google answering you’re gonna die in the next five minutes sort of thing!)
The vertigo and headache are and have been causing me a lot of aggravation. Anyway, half an hour of these exercises and I could feel it dissipating.
Plus I found some gadgets and other treatments to try.
For the first time in months I actually feel like I’m getting somewhere…
And believe me, once I rid myself of vertigo and cracking head pain I feel I can do anything!
First suggestion, switch from drinking cold water, to boiling water (blow it to cool it, I’m assuming you’re not daft).
Next we have chewing gum, the chewing action moves stuff around in your ear tubes and tunnels.
Then we have Sterimar nostril douching spray. This does make my nose bleed but moves stuff around, so I’m ok with that.
And then finally I found this little gadget “eustachi”. It’s a EUSTACHIAN TUBE EXERCISER!
Oh yes! You read that right!
I am struggling to use it. Chris tried it and can do it just fine, so it is just me being weird.
You have to hold one nostril shut, put the eustachi up the other one and then you have to swallow.
Turns out I can’t swallow unless I have something in my mouth…which is clearly demonstrated by my waistline. Hahahahaha
But with a bit of perseverance and some very peculiar noises I can manage to do it.
Well, with the exercises, the gadgets, the warm water, all of it. It’s really helping restore me back to my former glory (please note there is irony in this statement). ;)
So what can you do if you feel a bit better in yourself? Anything!
Big news, I put real clothes on this week more often than last. Mainly as I had a couple of meetings via Zoom, I find it’s best to make the effort.
No one wants to have to stare at me looking like the girl from the Exorcist!
Jumper from Benetton, Skirt from Jigsaw, Boots from Christian Dior
Getting hair washed and blow dried is a great pick me up. I’m struggling to find the motivation to do it regularly…turns out I do dress for other people’s benefit! Who knew!? Take away public interaction and I’m feral! Hahahahaha.
Shirt from Karl Lagerfeld, Leggings from Next, Shoes from Christian Dior
Even on the days I don’t wash my hair, I have been making more effort to dress nicely. I still want free flow of my stoma though, so I do tend to err towards leggings.
I cracked up the other day.
Chris kissed me, he hadn’t shaved so I said “God, you’re letting yourself go”
…he replied “she puts a shirt on once a week and now she’s a lifestyle guru!” Hahahahaha hahahahah
It is true that I had forgotten how rough I’ve been looking of late, I don’t really look in mirrors much, but if I do happen past one it can take my breath away at how ropey I look! :)
Quick note. I don’t post photos of what I actually look like au natural. People have been known to gasp at my make up free face. (Not an exaggeration. I have rosacea, I have done since chemo, I don’t find it horrendous (not unless it’s in a burning flare up) but it is a bit red (a lot red) but I can’t see it as I’m behind it all the time. It’s a shock to look at by all accounts. ;)
Anyway, I had a work Zoom this week too, so I did make an effort, only for my laptop to crash and I had to continue the whole meeting on speakerphone. Roll eyes here.
Dress from Dorothy Perkins, Shoes from Christian Louboutin
The poor loves didn’t even get to see my smashing outfit - including shoes ~ that’s how much commitment I showed!
The meeting went well, even with my technical hitch.
It was just nice to talk to other humans for a bit really.
Plus after the meeting a lovely work colleague took me for a video chat tour of the store, which cheered me up no end. If there’s something you’re after from Neptune in Colchester, give them a call and they can give you a video tour too. Did wonders for me. And I’m always on the look out for my next must have.
I also made the soup that I have mentioned before again, I make it once a week now, it’s so good. I feel it picks you up. Literally chicken soup for the body…soul to follow…
Poorly or not, it’s delicious.
You don’t need to wait till you feel unwell to make this. This soup is like a little ray of sunshine and hope in a bowl.
Add whatever you want. I put carrots and coriander in this week. It’s just yummy.
******
I had Pilates again this week. I’m finding it really worthwhile and beneficial. I credit it with making me feel stronger and more confident.
It is true that I live in perpetual fear of a hernia crisis, which is a wonderful added bonus in addition to living in fear of cancer returning.
And in a weird way both of these things are a blessing, all of that negative stuff is because I survived.
Take your blessings where you can. Here I am world! Here I am.
Anyway this Pilates class is designed for people like me…No!!! Not neurotics!! I mean people that have had abdominal surgery.
Search for Ostomy Studio on the internet or Facebook.
Sarah Russell (author of The Bowel Cancer Recovery Toolkit) has designed the class especially for us ( all abdominal surgery survivors, be it from cancer or not).
It’s such a fantastic class, and the best thing about it is, you can do it wherever you are in the world!
There are live classes online but also Pre recorded ones, so if you live in a time zone doesn’t quite marry up then there’s a resource still there for you to access!
I really would highly recommend joining the classes. You don’t know how important that core is until it’s been sliced through. But It is possible to rebuild. And Sarah can show you how.
And all that expertise for a great price, from the comfort of your own home.
So no need to fret about expulsions of air or body image.
All you need is access to Zoom.
Chris brought my laptop back from the dead, he’s my hero and go to IT guru…there literally is no end to his talents, and conversely and perversely no beginnings to mine.
They do say opposites attract. I can’t help but think that works out far better for one half than the other. ;)
There’s a fair few mirror selfie’s this week, my photographer is fit and well, don’t panic, he’s just got that other job to do, you know, his actual job. ;)