I have come to the realisation that Chris and I are experiencing two very different lockdowns whilst living under the same roof.
As I said 10 weeks ago, nothing really changed for me, I didn’t do much mid week anyway, I very rarely saw people at all, so for me the only difference is the shops are shut. That’s about it.
So here I am merrily enjoying the sunshine, doing pretty much sweet FA...all while Chris is working harder than at any point in his career, doing his best to keep the company he works for running.
The ones still working have the weight of the world on their shoulders trying their best to come out of this as whole as possible.
There’s me being all whiny that he seems distracted. Oi yoi yoi! (What’m I like hey!...selfish is the word we’re looking for here. Hahahahaha. Must try harder).
So far he’s worked his balls off, plus he had suspected Shingles, we won’t know for sure until he can have an antibody test, it’s possible it was coronavirus as it’s becoming clearer there are a few rashes associated with it. Who knows for now.
I see him less than when he used to leave the house for work, last week he worked later than he used to get home on a normal day…he’s presently working in a shed/cabin in the back garden.
The country is getting back to work slowly but surely and as safely as possible as of today.
Of course if you can work from home that is still the advice, the virus threat level hasn’t changed.
There are people desperate to get back to ‘normal’ which works out brilliantly for me, because as much as I am still horrified by my government’s original plan of herd immunity I appreciate without it, without a vaccine in sight we’re screwed. So it kind of makes sense to let the ones that don’t mind catching it go out and about, you’ll recognise them by the fact they are gathering in large groups and sitting in crowds at the seaside.
I’m staying home, I’m in no mood for a bug, no matter how likely I am to survive…and yes, I agree, I’m highly likely to be fine.
I have a low immune system, which means I catch bugs easily but that doesn’t put me at any greater risk from complications of corona.
It looks like diabetes and obesity are the highest risk factors.
Perversely, I seem to have been working my way slowly towards that in lockdown. My staying home, staying safe, doing nothing makes me bake, and much like Mr.Kipling - I make exceedingly good cakes!
I’m world class at eating them too! I’ve had to put myself on a time out from baking for now, well, until the time I can share my baked goods with others.
I was asked what I’ve missed during lockdown (after family & friends of course), I can’t say I’ve missed much really, although I do miss Chutney Mary’s, I miss Harrod’s fudge, and I miss shoe shopping, but none of it enough to rush back to it.
I have really missed going to work though, and I don’t even work IN there. I shop in there, but I work from home for them.
I popped into Neptune in Colchester as it was still by appointment only and I felt confident and comfortable enough to go. I had to pick up some lamps and place mats. So pleased with them, it was well worth leaving home for.
(The store’s doors are now fully open should you wish to visit).
The best part of lockdown has been focusing on our home and garden. It’s come on leaps and bounds.
It looks amazing, and what’s more it’s all our own work, it feels good.
I have overdone things though, and I’ve paid the price for doing it, for a month I have battled my hernia and the knock effects of that on my bladder. I’ve had a horribly scary time that there might be something more sinister going on.
If you pee 8 times a night and your bladder can’t hold a thimble full of wee in the day it’s never a good sign, but with some TLC I’ve managed to get back to normal. (And by TLC I mean laxatives, water, pushing my hernia back in and crying) hahahaha.
(I have an appointment with a urologist waiting in the wings for me to activate should I need it, but I’m hoping I’ve fixed it myself, so yey!! I’m good for now!).
Hernias are the ostomites nemesis. Mine has plague me for 10 years now, I work round it so as not to anger it.
I developed mine 6 weeks after my operation. I had just been to my surgeon for a check up. I asked him if I could get back to normal and start doing things, he said - yes absolutely!
I went straight home picked up a basket of wet washing and Pop! I felt it go, I actually heard it go. The rest as they say is history.
I’m hoping to start working on repairing myself physically once the pandemic has run its course. But for anyone new to stoma-ing I would suggest a hernia support belt. If only I had.
The other thing I’d suggest, not that I did this myself, but then I’m not an expert, even after all this time. I like to believe I’m an expert on me but I haven’t proved that lately.
If output slows to almost nothing, and input has pretty much stayed the same you need to act fast. I didn’t, I noticed, but didn’t do anything about it quickly enough.
This put me in all sorts of bother. In a weird way I think I was enjoying the lack of output. The bag gets heavy, it makes my clothes bulge. The lack of that probably felt nice on a subconscious level…but that was dangerous, and foolish.
Yesterday my bag weighed a ton, it was ridiculous, but I was joyous!
I am monitoring rigorously now, I do not want that problem to happen again. First day of low output and I’m laxative-ing.
Dress from ASOS , Shoes from Hermes
I have been enjoying brief moments of clothes wearing, interspersed with bikini wearing, but mostly summer pj wearing. ;)
I have also been enjoying my garden feeding me! We’re living off the land! Hahahahaha.
Rhubarb juice! Oh it tastes like heaven and it might have been a deciding factor in unblocking my chronic constipation. So it’s a win win as far as I can see.
I did joke the other day that Chris is hiding from me at the weekends because I keep coming up with ‘bright ideas’ for home improvements, but we’re both really into housey stuff right now.
No point in not really, seeing as we’re home anyway.
We bought some paint from work and have slowly been coating anything and everything with it.
It’s a dreamy colour. It’s perfect everywhere.
This weekend it was the courtyard garden that got some love.
From this….to this…
I weeded all the cracks in the patio, I have to contort into strange shapes so my hernia doesn’t get pinched or angry again but it’s do-able.
…And then I can use the jets to massage my belly. If you saw me you’d assume I didn’t know how to use a hot tub, but facing the jets and letting them gently massage my problematic guts has been a Godsend.
I love this dress, I love the colour but it did highlight my incredibly large gut area. Admittedly some of it is cake, some is having two children and some of it is a colostomy and hernia.
I remind myself daily that it’s OK to be human. It’s OK to not look like a supermodel.
I’m a 47 year old granny with a colostomy, I’m doing fine. :)
Dress from Next, Shoes from Hermes
If all that pep talk fails have photos taken with your back to the sun so it doesn’t highlight the problem areas. Hahahahaha
We are now in a time of great joy here in the UK, we can now see some family at last, in the garden, from a distance, it’s weird but better than nothing.
I couldn’t be more excited. It’s been a long time.
There are some things we need to do, firstly we need to remember they are allowing us to do this so we all shut up about Dominic Cummings breaking lockdown rules, rather than any change to the virus rate. ;)
The level is still 4, where it has been for the last 10/11 weeks, literally nothing’s changed but we’re allowed to do different things? Nope, no idea.
So, with that in mind, we (I mean that in the general sense, the royal we, I have no care in the world about how others play this out, I only care about how I do), we (I) have no intention of infecting anyone else. That has and always will be my main concern, OK, I don’t want it, but I really don’t want to have to live with the thought that my actions could have harmed somebody else.
So for now we will have socially distanced garden dining.
For me to be comfortable with that, it meant food prepared with gloves (not woolly ones) & mask on (not Zoro type one) and giving them their own portions, so no sharing of food.
The loo has been stocked up with anti bac wipes for cleaning after every use (one bonus of lockdown visiting means the toilet will never have been so clean), and disposable paper towel for hand drying.
Dining at a distance.
We’re all navigating our way through something that hasn’t occurred for a hundred years so it’s going to be an interesting journey.
We’ve got the information and we have to process it the best we can and do what makes us comfortable and happy.
I saw a lot of upset on Facebook about children going to school. How is that up for public debate?
Send them - don’t send them, the choice is yours. You don’t need to justify the path you choose. It’s none of anyone else’s business.
It’s a bit like the judgment on working mums and non working mums. There’s always been this ground swell of opinion on that.
I say “ you do you”, don’t worry about anyone else.
When Chris and I used to entertain clients (sounds like years ago but it was only February the last time), I’d often get chatting (well, I hope I would, wouldn’t it be terrible to be just staring blankly at each other! Hahahahaha), anyway we’d get chatting and people have often asked me over the years what I do for a living? I still answer the same as I did at the beginning “I’m a stay at home mum”…
…Oh how lovely how old are your children?
23 and 21, neither of whom live at home. Hahahahaha
I have never felt the need to defend or justify this position because it’s no one’s business but ours. Our life, our choice.
Simples. :)
Just do what makes you happy.
Entertaining visitors in the garden is now a big thing. It’s the new going out out.
I wanted these lamps from Neptune for ages, they are genius. We had our dream kitchen fitted a couple of years ago, but we did make an error in not putting enough plug sockets in. Well the new lamps are rechargeable! How clever is that. It means unlit areas without plug sockets are now beautifully lit.
Annnnnnd, this is even better than that, you can take them in the garden for evening dining.
Admittedly I don’t stay up late enough for it to get dark but that’s not the point. I could if I wanted to (lies of course, I probably couldn’t, I‘m dead on my feet by nine). :)
Lamps, lights, table mats and cushions from Neptune.
These new times call for actually getting dressed in case people do come round.
I love this dress, I wore it to Venice when I went last year with Leonie. It was such an amazing day. I have so many great memories of it.
(I noticed Ryanair are advertising to go on holiday to Italy and Spain from July. That’s lovely, they are beautiful countries.
Just like to point out though Ryanair, I won’t be booking anything with you until you refund me the three separate trips you cancelled 10 weeks ago).
Dress from Dorothy Perkins, Shoes from Hermes
I can just pretend I’m standing on the Rialto Bridge, taking in all the scenery. I’m so glad I went to Venice twice last year. It is spectacular, I fell in love with it immediately I walked over the first bridge into Venice city.
I personally won’t be going anywhere for a while but I have all those fond memories of all the amazing places I’ve been.
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Chris and I have been taking it in turns to choose films for movie night, it’s like going out to the movies only it doesn’t cost £50 in popcorn. Haha
Anyway, I’m slowly working my way through the films of my youth. I was unhealthily obsessed with Marilyn Monroe, I was a very lonely teenager and didn’t go out much (at one point, I made up for it in the latter stages of teening) I spent most of my time watching and rewatching Marilyn movies, they were was my safe space and my happy place.
Chris is now just fully comprehending that my formative years were spent watching films about gold diggers! Hahahahaha hahahahaha
So far we’ve watched;
Gentlemen prefer blondes
Some like it hot
and How to marry a millionaire…
I did accidentally choose completely off my genre and regretted it bitterly as it’s proper shite. Have you seen Once upon a time in Hollywood? Well, that’s a film that need never have been made. It won Oscars too! Boring doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Chris has chosen some classics, Wolf of Wall Street and The Gentlemen. So far, so good.
It’s his choose again this week, who knows what he will come up with.
I really hope you’re keeping well, and hopefully happy in these darkest of days.
I like to think of five positive things that happened each day day before I go to sleep. There are some to be found, even if you have to look closely to find them. xxx
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My heart is aching about what is happening in America right now. Seeing the footage is making me cry my eyes out.
Anyone saying all lives matter is correct, but totally missing the point. The whole movement of Black Lives Matter is because black lives haven’t mattered as much as they should - Equally.
We don’t understand it fully because the colour of our skin has NEVER put us in harm’s way with the police.
We can jog, and drive, and shop, and have mental health breakdowns without any harm coming to us.
Apparently you can call the police on a man bird watching because he asked you to put your dog on a lead in an area where dogs should be put on a lead, in the hope of getting him in trouble. That is white privilege and that is a disgrace. I felt sick watching it, I could see exactly what her plan was, we all could.
I watched a video of a young female police officer handcuffing & searching a black man because he was sitting out side his friend’s flat chatting. That video was taken in London. That man was an off duty paramedic, minding his own business.
Sitting at your friend’s house isn’t a crime, it certainly isn’t if you’re white.
