Hello again! I’m back.
Time got away from me, and I wish I could give you a good solid reason for it, but there wasn’t one.
So this for the most part will be a pictorial blog about what I wear with a stoma. Absolutely only in the general sense, in no way do I think anyone should follow my style.
In fact, my whole sense of peace with my stoma and dressing is that I don’t follow any one particular style to start with. I’m eclectic at best.
What I’ve learned in my own dressing journey to date, is to find what flatters you, find what gives you confidence and joy.
The right outfit can make you feel ten feet tall and ten times better.
If that happens to be tracksuits and baggy Ts, then fabulous! You have found your style. Go with it, lean in and enjoy it.
Because that’s what is most important. Feeling confident and content.
Contentment is a very powerful, and often enviable emotion. When you are at peace, when you are happy in yourself it spills out of you -
You shine.
That isn’t dependent on the clothes themselves, but how you feel about yourself whilst wearing them.
I’ve been wearing a lot of clothes from M&S, I’ve felt great in them. I’m a very dedicated overthinker, so I had a panic the other day that maybe their autumn/winter clothes won’t be as good as this summer has been. But I know someone who knows their stuff, and I have been fully reassured that it’s going to be equally as good, if not better! Music to my ears, because their spring/summer looks have been amazing on.
Before I had my surgery I honestly assumed I’d only be able to wear baggy shapeless clothes…not to be melodramatic or anything but I really thought clothes I enjoyed were going to be consigned to the past.
Well, the lived experience has been something of a delight. I still get to wear nice things. Just with a few considerations to take into account.
I prefer;
Nothing too tight that restricts output flow.
Nothing that shows the outline of the bag or contents.
That’s it, I’m open to anything else.
But of course that’s just the stoma related list. There are limitations I have naturally that I consider when dressing;
I’m not very thin like a model, able to wear anything and everything.
No, I have many curves, and I am short - (162cm).
*My style icons ~ my favourite dressed women are incredibly elegant;
Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly, Princess Diana, Meghan Markle, pretty much most, if not all the Parisian women I’ve ever seen and Queen Letizia of Spain.
Women who know and understand their sense of self and style. Women who know their bodies and what suits them, and always, always hit the mark.
You find that essence, and you are winning.
Confidence is key.
Top from Jigsaw, Trousers from M&S, Shoes from Hermes.
This outfit wasn’t worn with particular confidence in all honesty.
The main reason for that was how I felt physically. I had stitches on my chest and leg from the skin cancer removal procedures. And I hadn’t taken into account that you can’t get the stitches wet for a few days.
I especially didn’t think about that when I’d agreed to do a shift at the foodbank a few days later. So I had to leave the house with just a flannel wash, and that makes me retch even just saying the words.
In Spain, I was happily feral, I was alone and felt happy to be unclean.
But If I ever leave the house I am showered and washed within an inch of my life. So leaving the house un-showered feels revolting to me.
I make no judgment on others, it’s just a personal preference.
I completed my shift at the Foodbank, popped to Ben and Erin’s while they were out to keep their kitten company for a bit.
Then went home for 3 days solid - un showered, to let my wounds heal.
Could not have felt more unpleasant if I tried, but kitty cuddles were very welcome.
Once it was okay to shower again I felt like a million dollars! Hair washed, body scrubbed.
Fabulous!!
Dress from Zara, Shoes from Todd, Belt from Hermes.
It was nice to be back out in the world. I can only take so much enforced home time.
But I know I followed the instructions perfectly and have given my skin the best chance possible of healing well.
Dress from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from Gucci, Bag from Dior
Out to play…
It felt especially nice to have clean hair :)
Lunch at Chutney Mary, followed by a late afternoon tea at Harrods.
We went home full to the brim. And incredibly happy with how the day went. :)
The following day we headed to the Polo Club we joined last year.
Polo sounds super fancy, and to play it you probably do have to be, what with the vital need to have plenty of spare horses. But to watch it, at local club level, you do not need to be fancy in any way shape or form.
There’s no dress code. There’s no rules, well, apart from the obvious, like don’t walk on the pitch until invited to squash in the divots.
It’s very relaxed, and in our experience, very welcoming and friendly. Silver Leys in Bishop Stortford is the second club we’ve been to, and equally as friendly and warm as the one we went to in Cambridge.
For the most part I think they are just pleased people are interested enough to come and watch and cheer them on.
You don’t need to have great knowledge of the sport. You can pick it up quickly whilst watching.
It’s incredibly fast paced and at times brutal. It’s a fabulous spectator sport. I would definitely recommend.
Top from Reiss, Jeans from M&S, Blazer from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from LV
It was a family fun day, so Ben and Erin came too, and we had lunch at the restaurant there. And we met up with Kim, Matt and the girls and Kim’s mum after.
It was great; Polo, stunt display teams, bouncy castles and small animal encounters.
*Kim fell in love with a hairless guinea pig (look them up. Weird little critters, but very cute).
It was a very fun fun day.
Monday morning came and Kim and I decided to head down to Costco, where we treated ourselves to new outfits! :)
Kim went with a classic tracksuit for the school run. And I went for a towelling beach set. For no other reason other than it was a good price and super cute.
I have currently no plans to go to a beach. But you never know. :)
It’s not about where the clothes you buy are from. Style is about finding what suits you.
I’d love to be effortlessly elegant, that would be the ultimate goal. But I am anything but effortless, and too clunky to be elegant.
But it’s what I aim for, whether I manage it or not.
Elegance is a natural attribute, you could pay one pound or ten thousand pounds for an outfit, but if you don’t have that natural something, it won’t ever sit right, no matter what you spend.
I wear clothes from Primark to Prada, and everything in between. The cost has little impact on the quality of the goods, or appearance.
I bloody love this outfit below! I’d say it falls into the category of old school, classic, effortless elegance…
…unfortunately for me it was an awful lot of effort. Hahahaha
Top and trousers from M&S, Shoes from LV, Bag from Dior.
As much as I love it, it’s simply a costume for me. As I can’t manage effortless, without putting in an awful lot of effort. :)
Dress from French Connection, Shoes from Hermes.
Keep it simple, keep it comfortable.
Top from Ralph Lauren, Trousers from Michael Kors, Shoes from Hermes.
Keep cool
Top from Phase Eight, Shorts from Tesco.
Skirt from Athena Procopiou, Belt from Hermes, Shoes from Gina.
Saturday was a very good day indeed!!
Firstly it meant I finally got round to wearing this dress.
I bought it in a pre-loved (or what we used to call a second hand) shop.
It’s from Staud, and originally was £345.
I bought it for £45 and I absolutely bloody love it! It feels amazing on. And I feel absolutely amazing in it.
Notice how tall and proud that little lady looks!
Dress originally from Staud, Shoes from Gucci, Bag from Dior.
Last December Chris came along and followed my lead with healthy eating, and has lost two stone in weight.
He discovered Saturday morning that he fitted back in a classic outfit that he loved from way back.
Look at us cutie patooties!! 😍
And the other reason it was a great day is because we were going on the Belmond British Pullman train for lunch with our friends.
And it’s one of the best days out you can have in the UK in my experience and opinion.
When you could take the Orient Express from London to Paris or Venice or wherever, this is the train you’d get for the London to Dover leg of the trip. And then transfer to the Orient Express once you arrived in France.
The carriages are beautifully restored and preserved. Some of them date back to the 30s.
The food is fabulous. And the whole day is really special.
My first attempt at the sexy banana pose :)
It was such a fun day, filled with laughter, friends and food, plus we booked a date that the four of us want to travel to Corfu to look around, 4 of my top five favourite things.
(*Corfu has been on my mind a lot lately, Chris and I are watching The Durrells for the third time. We absolutely love it and Corfu, James & Tanya do too. So it makes sense to go with them. We’ll book flights and accommodation at some stage, but at least we have a date in mind, and I can’t wait).
Then Sunday morning was spent pottering around.
I picked some flowers from my garden and arranged them nicely…so I felt like I was Martha Stewart. Hahaha
But look at those flowers! Amazing that they survived in a garden that I tend to! ;)
And then Chris and I headed to Sunday lunch at Roni’s, a restaurant in Bishop Stortford.
We hadn’t ever been there before, but it was really nice.
The food was classic old school; Prawn cocktail, Sunday roast, sticky toffee pudding and apple crumble.
I don’t think you could want for anything more.
We then went for a walk round the town centre, because we realised we’d never actually been there before either.
It was a very chilled day. I chose an outfit that I liked. And that wasn’t too over the top, seeing as it was a day time thing, and a restaurant I’d not been to before so I wasn’t sure of the dress norms for it.
Top from Sandro, Jeans from Monsoon, Bag from Dior, Shoes from Hermes.
The day before Tanya had shown me a new pose to add to my repertoire. This is apparently the most flattering way to stand for photos…
I think we can all agree I nailed it! Thank you Tanya. 🤍haha
As weekends go it was one of the good ones. Something for everyone, I had a lovely roast and bought some books about Corfu (my latest fixation), and Chris had a roast and an afternoon nap (his long time fixation) ;)
Monday was stitches removal day, and it went very well.
As much as I was shocked by the size of the wounds from the Basal Cell carcinoma removals, I have gotten used to them now.
I still think it’s a bit disappointing to have such a prominent scar on a leg which was very nice looking to start with. I have surprisingly good legs. No varicose veins, and a nice shape. So I was bit sad to now have a scar on it.
But shit happens, it’s not the worst thing in the world. And scars just add to the rich tapestry that makes our lives ours. 🤍
Dress from Marks and Spencer, Shoes from Hermes.
From this ⬆️
Ignore the stubble, it’s a bit hard to shave them properly right now.
To this ⬇️
I think it’s going to heal quite well. And it was done by a very good plastic surgeon, so it has a very good chance of healing well.
The nurse who took my stitches out yesterday suggested I use some Bio Oil or equivalent, and not just slap it on, but to rub the scar with circular motions with the oil, to help break down the scar tissue.
I’ve always used Bio Oil on scars, but I didn’t know the bit about gently rubbing it in. I might as well give it a go.
*I was clearing my wardrobe out the other day. Finding things for my Vinted shop, when I came across some real memory joggers.
This first one was the outfit I was wearing the night I first met Chris ~ 31 years ago.
A timeless classic as it happens. The trousers didn’t fit at all. But the top would still be wearable.
And the second outfit was what I wore to Chris’s sister’s 21st birthday party, which was the week after my 21 birthday. So this outfit is only 30 years old.
Again, the skirt didn’t fit. But the top would be wearable. It’s nice to know that I have timeless taste at least.
I got sidetracked with trying stuff on so I didn’t make much headway in clearing the wardrobe. :)
Top from Ted Baker, Leather trousers bought from my friend Natalie - 34 years ago.
So to recap what to wear with a stoma…anything that makes you feel like you. That makes you feel happy, confident and comfortable.
If you buy classic rather than fashion it lasts longer…30 plus years sometimes. ;)
There are no rules, and often it’s a case of trial and error. But if you loved dressing before, there’s no reason why that can’t continue.
I will add though, that straight after my surgery I wore nightdresses for a while, progressing to very baggy dresses, and then after a few months I started getting more comfortable with my wounds, and confident in my body with a bag attached.
It didn’t just happen overnight. I didn’t come out of hospital and straight into dressing like a boss bitch. It took me a while to back on my feet and find myself again.
But I did eventually, and I love dressing now as much as I did before cancer ever reared its ugly head.
The clothes maketh the man (or as in this case - woman).
💁🏼♀️
I’ve even thrown a bit of Shakespeare in for free, I bet you didn’t see that coming, knowing my feelings about him! 😂
From Shakespeare;
His line that "apparel oft proclaims the man" is expressed in modern times as "The clothes make the man"; meaning that people form judgments about others based upon the clothes that they wear. Polonius instructs Laertes that he will appear to be noble if he so dresses.
I think it’s safe to say I’m sentimental, or a hoarder, take your pick, I’d say they were interchangeable at this point.
I decided to wear this outfit today. It caught my eye as I was deciding what to choose.
Top from Oasis, in Covent Garden. My brother bought it for me on a day out, when I was 16 and he was 18.
This top is still incredibly beautiful and very wearable, and is a mere 35 years old, Jeans from Monsoon, a few weeks old.
If you buy what suits you you may get a lot of wear out of it, even 35 years later. :)
Be timeless, Be classic, Keep well, Stay safe. Have a wonderful weekend, see you next week. Xx