Hello again, Thank you so very much for coming back to read my blog after last week’s ramblings - The Misery Diaries (or, The Sometimes Reality Diaries).
I am generally the most happy content stoma owner, at peace with it all, but even I can have moments where I find stoma owning frustrating or annoying, as the week before proved.
It’s human nature to feel angry and frustrated about a situation we can’t do anything about. I find it’s also human nature to feel guilty about feeling frustrated or unhappy - even with something that has saved our life.
In my experience and my opinion, for what it’s worth, It’s ok to be angry at the something that saved you.
It’s okay to feel anything you feel. And as long as those feelings aren’t hurting you or affecting your life experiences as a whole, it’s okay to acknowledge the downsides, while taking every opportunity you get with both hands and living life to the full.
I don’t generally feel negatively about it, mainly because of the whole ~ I nearly died, and I didn’t thing. Everything after that pales into insignificance.
But last week’s mistake with bag packing, did give me an insight into how frustrating stoma life is, or at least, can be.
Basically, last week’s fuck up, was a reminder that it isn’t always plain sailing for everyone.
Weirdly this week I had two incidents of mild pancaking (where output finds its way under the adhesive of the baseplate). Usually this is my biggest fear, so lack of enough bags was a new one on me).
I thanked my lucky stars for the pancaking happening once I got home, rather than whilst away, with no further access to stoma bags. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t annoyed by it occurring to start with.
For ease of use, a dryer, dehydrated output is far better for leak prevention. But it’s not comfortable whilst inside my body. It’s uncomfortable and I feel sluggish.
Well hydrated, looser output, is far more comfortable whilst inside my body, but does leave me at risk of pancaking and leaks.
So really there is no optimal. Because both have pros and cons.
I get on with what the day brings. And take it one day at a time. I can’t do anything more than that.
Stick bag on, stick a smile on, and go grab life.
****
I have many things to be thankful for. I have incredibly sensitive skin. To the point that washing my face it water makes it red and blotchy.
….That’s not the lucky bit, the lucky bit I’m thankful for, is that although I have ridiculously reactive skin, I have very rarely had any issues with the skin that is constantly being exposed to the adhesive layer of my stoma bag.
You’d think knowing the information about my skin would help me with making decisions about how I treat it…
But come on, it’s me, you know I stagger from one mini disaster to another, and last week’s one was with my battle with western beauty standards.
I have a very hairy face and body. Which as we know is a huge sin. ;)
On my face I have a mass of downy blonde hair, with a scattering of about 8 thick black hairs.
It was annoying me last week, it was getting ridiculous, to the point where every time I plucked one black hair a new one popped up next to it, like a game of Wac-a-mole.
So while I was in the chair getting my eyebrows waxed, and the therapist was upselling ideas, I agreed to having my full face waxed…even knowing about my very sensitive skin, even knowing that when I attempted this with threading the same thing happened.
So I present to you the reason I couldn’t leave the house for two days!…
My face and neck were on fire. I couldn’t touch it. Trying to wash it with just water was making it worse.
I attempted to calm it with hydrocortisone cream, which is less than ideal I appreciate, especially on the face.
But after a few days of hydrocortisone and I was able to wash, moisture and put a layer of make up on.
Not that the make up was any good at disguising the skin, but it gave me the much needed confidence of camouflage.
With make up ⬆️
Top and Jeans from M&S, Shoes and Belt from Hermes.
I decided to treat myself to a treats day. This seemed a wholly appropriate course of action under the circumstances.
Face on fire? Go to M&S where the lighting on a good day makes you feel like something from a freak show. Hahahah.
Anyway, I found a few things that worked really well for me. I loved both of these dresses. And at £35 the price point is fabulous.
The only downside I would say is the fabrics are quite heavyweight. So I’m not sure if they are fit for purpose. Beautiful though they are.
Is something this heavy suitable for such a sweaty body on a hot day?
Time will tell.
They look great on, so that’s the first step.
Friday was another day of covering my face in camouflage and getting on.
Top from Ralph Lauren, Jeans from M&S, Shoes and bag from Dior.
It was still on fire, but slightly less so than the first few days.
My mission was far from accomplished. It was an utter fail in fact. By the time the rash had gone down, the hair had grown back. So I’m either spotty or hairy. There is no mid ground.
Sunday was a very special day. We headed into London to meet with Chris’s favourite cousin, favourite extended family member of all time, to be honest, and her husband, for lunch at Arros.
I love the open back design. It’s so unique.
This outfit is something of a departure from my usual choices.
The shirt is from the Victoria Beckham x Mango collaboration.
…what attracted me to this particular piece?
Well out of the entire capsule collection it was the only thing that fit me.
Vikki isn’t one for eating much, and that is reflected in her designs, and sizes available.
I tried on, and was nearly stuck in a few other pieces. But as I very nearly had to be surgically removed from them I felt they probably weren’t for me…I know, even I worked that out!
The food at Arros is amazing! If you love paella I would recommend.
The trousers, though tailored fit, are actually loose, and stretchy enough that output can flow easily.
I had worn jeans for a couple of days, but the pancaking issue was still ongoing, so I felt it best to give myself a fighting chance for less leakage.
Arros is actually better than any other food I’ve had in Spain over the last 30 years of visiting.
Although the owner of Arros does have Michelin star restaurants - in Spain, so I feel we should give them a try at some stage.
Can’t wait to catch up with Nikki and Martin again soon.
Monday was a bank holiday, and our plans had changed at the last minute. So we were thinking of things to do.
Then quite by chance Sam and Milly suggested we come down to see them and go to The Highclere Country Show…
An opportunity spend time with them, and our grandson…and dress for the English countryside? Yes please!
A little bit country…
Hat from Lairds, Shirt from Ralph Lauren, Jeans from Tesco, Gilet from Holland Cooper, Boots from Dubarry, Bag from Dior
It was such a fun day. The weather was a mixed bag of glorious sunshine and torrential downpours, so the normal then.
Mils was selling her eco friendly wares on a stall. Look up Boundless Interiors on instagram for eco friendly home products.
For a spontaneous day out I was expecting horrific traffic jams, as it was a bank holiday. But actually we had the clearest run there and back that we’ve ever had.
…And the cherry on top, was when we arrived home to the most beautiful double full rainbow. I missed the Northern Light show that we had over the UK a couple of weeks ago. I think I’m more of a rainbows kind of gal. I very much need my phenomenons to be day time centric.
I’ve spent this week trying to work out what has been causing the pancaking issue. I need to get on top of it before I fly to Spain and travel to Maastricht.
Top and trousers from Tesco, Shoes from Manolo Blahnik.
Not really pinpointed it to any specific reason. But loose clothing can only help.
Having been on many travels already this year, and faced with the rubbish weather of the great British summer, I was missing Greece so much that I decided to try something new. I’m no chef, I can barely cook.
But I saw a recipe for tzatziki, and thought it was well worth a try.
It was actually delicious. It brought a much needed taste of the sunshine to our table. I appreciate the salmon was overcooked, but I think that’s the expectation of most people of my kitchen skills.
I did scape the table colourfully and beautifully, which did help to camouflage the overcooked fish - my life is seemingly a never ending journey to camouflage;
Can’t cook, cover the table in pretty things.
Face inflamed, slap on hydrocortisone and make up.
Bag’s outline on show, conceal it with belts and patterns.
This week has been fun, I headed into London with a view of rummaging around charity shops in Chelsea. My feeling was they are bound to have some great things in them.
I was disappointed to find that not only was some of it very overpriced, some was stained and dirty too.
Stained?!? I had no idea any shop, charity or otherwise would try and sell stained items.
I don’t even put stained items in the charity shop bags to drop off. Anything broken or stained goes into fabric recycling. Who on earth is paying good money for pre stained clothes?
I’m quite capable of staining my own clothes thanks.
My main focus was actually for table scaping treasure, but while I was there I thought I’d give the clothes a chance.
My endeavours were fruitless unfortunately.
But, having gone down a little side road Off of Kings Road, I discovered a luxury preloved shop. I saw a sign for it quite by chance.
There was an arrow pointing in through a door, and up a staircase. (One of these days I will be kidnapped and sold into slavery, for my willingness to follow various signs).
“Yes sir! I will come see your puppies in your big van with blacked out windows!”
Hahahahah.
Anyway, I wasn’t kidnapped at all, but I did find a rather lovely high end pre loved clothes and bags shop.
Top from M&S, Trousers from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from Gucci, Bag from Goyard.
I found a few lovely things in there, from Hermes Birkins (out of my price range), to very affordable dresses.
And I have to say I’m over the moon with the dress I bought. Firstly the price was ridiculously low for what it is.
And the second delight, is that in the first time in the history of owning this body, the dress I bought looked way better on me than the models they had put it on on their website.
The poor wee girl wouldn’t have filled out an age 14, let alone this size 14 (UK).
…But add in a body - with boobs and a bum - and it’s rather delightful. :)
I think I might wear it to the upcoming polo event we are going to. It feels great on. And I believe looks fabulous!
Anyway, after my disappointing charity shop rummage, I headed to Harrods, to get my free cup of tea that comes with my clubcard from there. It was a day of extremes and variety.
Then, in the evening I met up with Chris for dinner. I knew it was going to be a long day, so I opted for soft tailored trousers. And the risk paid off.
No leaks today mum! :)
Chris and I have changed our eating habits. Eating no Ultra Processed Food has made a huge difference.
We still get to eat out, and eat well. We just won’t eat rubbish.
Thali is calorific, but it is delicious and worth the extra intake.
Plus Madhus at Harvey Nics have added Gulab Jamun to the menu, so it’d be rude not to indulge. ;)
The rest of this week I remained dressed…not as in clothed, because I image that’s the least you’d expect from me, I mean dressed, as in wearing dresses.
I have lots of travel coming up and I need to feel comfortable and confident that I won’t leak. Nothing is ever a guarantee, but dresses are my best bet.
Dress from Ralph Lauren, Shoes and Belt from Hermes.
Dress from Sainsbury’s, Belt from Hermes, Shoes from Gucci.
Have the best weekend all. I’m off on my adventures again soon. You know me, I can’t sit still for too long…unless I have TikTok open, in which case I can sit for 8 hours straight…I’m not kidding. I had to delete the app due to a little hyper fixation hobby.
Keep well, much love, have fun xx
Just a little update;
See this as a public service announcement!
Please please please check your skin for anything odd, new, or unusual.
You remember I came up with a new plan to have spray tans instead of risking sun damage? Well, my subconscious must have been telling me something. Because I’ve just got back from an appointment with a plastic surgeon to check some odd skin things, and they are as I suspected - Basal Cell Carcinoma.
Obviously, there are no good cancers to get, but there are definitely worse ones.
BCC is very very treatable. Very very very. So no worries about that.
I’ve got biopsies coming up, and then treatment for them once they get the results back. The most likely course of treatment is a cream for the one on my chest, and cutting out the one on my leg. All very simple. All very easy. The biggest thing is I could just do without the hassle.
It’s a very ffs kind of day.
But them’s the breaks for 70s babes who burnt 🥵 their way through their youth. 😂
Check your skin. Wear at least factor 30, preferably 50. Never sun bed and check your skin again.
