Relatable

Hello again, So I’m not sure we feel recovered from the week before last yet, but last week was equally full and fun.

At least there was less flying involved. (While I’m on the subject of flying, Chris and I appreciate we use air travel a lot. We offset our carbon emissions whenever we fly. It’s not better than not flying, but it’s better than nothing).

Thursday was really good ~ a general theme with me. I find life good, the fun stuff and the boring stuff alike ~ how lucky are we to be here.

I wake up every day happy. And I say this as someone who has had insomnia for the last 13 years.

For me personally, even the shit days are good days, because I was fortunate enough to have them.

Which I think probably explains my enthusiasm and peace with having a stoma.

I can’t see it as a negative because, well, hello, I’m here!

So Thursday was a fantastic day.

But the evening was amazing!

Chris had been invited to the Marie Curie Brain Game - a charity fundraising event held by HouseBuilder Magazine.

And very kindly Chris invited me to go with him (I mean, this would be my expectation, but one shouldn’t arrogantly, blindly assume hahahah).

I decided on the dress and shoes I’d wear a few weeks back. I had it all sorted in my head. Which is ironic really, because it was as I was having a massage in Budapest last week, that I realised I’d actually invented the dress, from a combination of 3 dresses I own. I don’t really know how I managed it. But I took the fabric of one, the top half of another and the bottom of a different dress. And made up a whole new, non existent outfit!!

It was only as I lay there relaxing, just going over what I’d need to get organised for the night out for when we got home, that I suddenly realised that the dress in my head didn’t actually exist.

Ffs.

I had a small, but pointless, panic as I lay there. Although I managed to calm the spiralling. Firstly, if I invented a dress made up of 3 different dresses, I’d at least have those three to choose from. And secondly, it’s a night out, for charity, so I hardly think what I wear makes any difference to anyone but me.

The funny thing was, while we were in Vienna I had trekked us round many and various shops to search for, and buy, a pair of earrings to go with my beautiful - but sadly - invented dress.

…and this is going to be the most relatable story I’ve ever told you! Hahahahab;

I started off in vintage jewellery shops. I found exactly what I was looking for!! Twice!! Can you believe it!? They had the exact earrings I thought would look a treat with both the dress (imaginary) and the cocktail ring (real) Chris bought for me in Galway last year.

The only problem was the earrings in the vintage jewellers were a bargain at a mere ~ €12,500…and a far more reasonable (insert sarcastic tone here) €10,500.

…errrrr, somewhat out of my price range, even on a good day, even I (who has a very mild grasp on reality) wouldn’t expect a pair of ten grand earrings for a night out.

So it was back to the drawing board.

And this is where I became clever, creative…and foolish all at once.

I stumbled upon a Swarovski crystal shop, and I thought what are the chances they’d have something similar to the ones I’d just seen?

Well as Lady Luck would have it, they actually did!!

(It was only when I got home, sat down to write this blog that I discovered you pay an awful lot more in their Crystal shop in Vienna than you do online. Like double the price more!! But I was in need of them in a hurry so I will just have to chalk it up to experience).

I very creatively and cleverly (if I do say so myself) added a pair of sparkly stud earrings, which I already owned, to the pair I bought in Vienna, and made an almost identical pair to the vintage ones I’d seen.

I fortunately, for this exercise, have very long earring holes, so it worked a treat).

A selection similar to the antique ones in Vienna.

And the ones I bought in Swarovski…

And then, the finished article I put together with the studs I owned already…

I was actually really chuffed with my ingenuity. :)

Look at me, actually crafting and making something. Okay, so it was out of two already created things, but that’s hardly the point. ;)

Eat your heart out Martha Stewart!

The dress I decided on out of the choice of three.

Having a stoma, has never prevented me from wearing a nice frock. It just means I have to wear what suits me best, but doesn’t everyone do that?

Dress Michael Kors, Shoes from Christian Dior, Clutch Bag from Primark.

I bloody love this photo below. He did good!! :)

It can often be a struggle to see myself in a positive light. Well, my body I mean, my personality is shocking, absolutely dreadful, so I tend not to worry about that too much hahahahah.

My body has been through trauma, physical and emotional. My body took the brunt of that trauma.

My belly protrudes, like I’m 5 months pregnant. It doesn’t make me feel great about myself all the time. But I have to remember, I’m 50 next week, I have a stoma, two hernias, and a lot of cake in there. It’s also birthed two children, had an oophorectomy… and still I rise!

And really that’s the main thing. It might not look how I’d like it to in an ideal world. But this body, this outer shell enables me to live the most beautiful life.

What I can do to help my self esteem and confidence, is find clothes that complement my figure. I also focus on the positives that I can find.

I have nice eyes, I have petite, if not slightly troll like feet, which look great in beautiful dinky shoes, I have cracking boobs (all my own work thank you very much ~ the only plastic on me is my stoma bag) ;)

There are parts of my body I don’t think too highly of, but I focus on the bits I do. I try and outweigh negative thoughts. Drown them out with the good stuff.

I’ve got to the very ripe old age of nearly 50, without the help of fillers, Botox or any kind of cosmetic surgery. Which for someone as insecure as me I think it’s an absolutely amazing achievement. :)

(In part I think it might be because I find lots of things very addictive, and I’ve no doubt cosmetic procedures would be the same. I’d look like the bride of Wildenstein in the blink of an eye. So it’s best I don’t get started to start with).

Best advice I can give ~ accentuate the positives. And find peace with the rest. Body neutrality is still better that self loathing, any day!

Appreciate the good, love that you’re still here. In spite and despite all that tried to stop you.

I appreciate I’m lucky because this gorgeous creature put me so high up on a pedestal I can hardly see the ground. He is literally my better half. :)

The Brain Game evening is a fund raising event for Marie Curie, a cancer charity that I feel very passionately about. They do such amazing work. I have done many bucket collections for them outside many and various supermarkets. I pride myself on collecting the most money per hour each time I’ve done it.

The tricks I have learned; Wear nice clothes, wear a huge smile, engage and chat to the passing crowd, wear nice perfume and wash your hair and put your face on. Works A Treat!

It also helps that I enjoy it very much.

The event itself was really very good. So well put together. So well supported by some very kind people in the construction industry.

We had a fantastic night. And it was such a great pleasure to have been invited by the host of the evening.

I didn’t know many of the answers to the quiz questions, but I answered them with confidence and enthusiasm. Incorrectly most of the time. But all for a good cause. It was a very good event.

I haven’t had a drink (of alcohol) in over six and a half, and yet I woke up the next day with the most shocking hangover feeling. It’s a common symptom of a late night and dehydration. A non hangover hangover.

Anyway we were taking clients out the following night, so I hydrated as best I could to water-log my shrivelled prune like brain and got ready for the evening out.

Thankfully the clients we were taking are incredibly lovely people. So I was really looking forward to the evening.

I think it was me that suggested Nobu in Mayfair. I’m not sure why. I just thought it has always sounded mysterious and exotic.

I’ve never been but obviously heard a lot about it, and not just because of the infamous Boris Becker incident in Nobu in the 90s.

I’ve seen celebs on nights out there in magazines etc etc. you get the idea that I thought it would be super fancy.

I didn’t know what to wear. But I fancied wearing this dress and boot combo for a while now. And once I get an idea in my head I’m like a dog with a bone.

So I put it on, and quickly realised it wasn’t really a night out in a fancy restaurant outfit. I sent a mirror selfie to my friend and begged for help.

I thought she’d been there, but as it turns out she hadn’t. But she very kindly searched for hashtags of Nobu on Instagram (she’s very clever, it would never occur to me to do that). Any way, the outfits that some guests had on were very spangly fancy, and not my cup of tea at all.

…it was then that it occurred to me. I don’t need to like their outfits, and they definitely don’t need to like mine. Silly woman, what do I care what other people think (well, a bold statement indeed, and technically a slight over exaggeration, because I do care a bit, just not enough to prevent me from wearing something I’m happy with).

So I stuck with my original choice, assuming I’d be pretty underdressed, but happy with my decision.

We walked in and I was shocked…shooketh to my core.

What I had expected to be a sumptuous feast for the eyes was in fact a room resembling a motorway service station.

Yellow/orange wood veneer and magnolia walls.

It didn’t help that it was still bright day light, but even so, it was underwhelming in the extreme.

…If Boris (allegedly) found Nobu did wonders for his libido, he should definitely give the Welcome Break at Membury services on the M4 a go! ;)

It did feel better once night fell and it filled up with a few more people. But nothing about it blew me away. And the toilets were like that of a municipal council building, down a staircase to what looked like shared facilities.

This was no Ivy Asia, Hakkasan or Sketch vibe.

My outfit, was perfectly fine, even though I felt it gave more of a brunch at Bluebird vibe, it was absolutely ideal for this particular occasion.

(There were other diners in oversized grey marl track suits, so I was probably overdressed for Nobu).

Anyway, our waitress was really lovely. We explained that we’d not been before, and she walked us through the menu step by step. Which was super helpful as none of us at the table had any clue about Sushi.

I’m not fan of Sushi to start with, the thought of raw fish turns my stomach a little bit. But actually the food was good…in fact it was the best sushi I’ve ever had…also the first sushi I’ve ever had, but that’s not the point.

Myself, and our guest, Helen seemed to take charge of the ordering, I don’t know how or why. It’s not something I’ve ever done before. We just got chatting to the waitress, and tried everything she suggested.

What I had failed to consider, (because he hadn’t told me) is Chris has stayed off crab meat for a while now, as he’s had some occasions of extreme nausea, after shellfish, which he apparently had narrowed down to crab…but he’s never mentioned this information to me.

So we ordered a fair bit of everything, including crab.

Which Chris then ate unknowingly…

And unfortunately unknown to me he felt sick as a dog all the way home. Struggling to keep in the meal we’d just had. He did a fantastic job of making it seem all was well.

Very impressive. Why would he not say anything about feeling sick?

Well, I’m a germaphobe, but more specifically I have a vomit and nausea phobia. And I guess he didn’t want to be trapped in a car feeling rotten, with me freaking out and spiralling out of control, because I definitely would have been (well, I would have been until we narrowed down what had affected him).

We did that the next day when I said we only ate things we’d eaten before…that’s when I mentioned the crab, amongst other things.

It then dawned on him, that it was indeed crab that has this affect. He’d had his suspicions prior to that, but now it was confirmed. So if you think about it I did him a favour (ouch!).

The poor man, he was rough for a long while. Well into the weekend and didn’t start perking up until Sunday afternoon.

Unfortunately it coincided with my pre birthday celebrations with my mum and dad, and Zak and all. So he had a great time. ;)

If you’ve read a few of my blogs, you will see a theme of near death experiences for Chris. These are merely coincidental. Unfortunate - yes, but very much coincidence.

I felt this outfit was going to be too casual for Nobu. But actually it was perfectly fine. Dress for yourself. Set your own dress code.

Top from M&S, Dress from Kate Spade, Boots from Holland Cooper, Bag from Christian Dior

Saturday morning I was up bright and early to play with Zak, they had arrived at ours for the weekend, while we were at dinner at Nobu.

Chris was meant to be cooking, but thankfully Sam is a fantastic cook so he took over the cooking duties (it was my pre birthday lunch, so I skipped making the meal).

Which meant we just got to play with Zak for the day. It was heaven. Chris did a great job of stoically playing in the garden. The fresh air doing wonders for his extreme nausea.

Dress from Tesco, Shoes from Gucci.

We had such a lovely day (not we as in Chris, but the rest of us.

Zak took some great photos, he likes taking them and I love and admire his work (our grandson is 4 and a bit and he is incredibly talented).

He’s definitely one to watch. Future star photographer. :)

:)

The lunch was cooked to perfection thanks to Sam.

My table scape was one of my favourites yet.

Fourteen of us are going to Greece for my big 5 oh. My mum and dad aren’t coming out for it. So I brought Greece to us…

Yes, I used real sand in this scape. Much to the horror and visible disgust and discomfort of Sam and Chris. They are not sand fans. But look how beautiful the display is!

The essence of Greece on a table. Actually quite a few bits of this scape have been brought back from Greece. I’d never been to Greece until October 2021. I’ve been 3 times since then and going back soon.

I’ve brought back all sorts of souvenirs. I really have fallen in love with the country. It’s beautiful and the people are amazing.

We had such a wonderful day. Although I forgot to buy myself a cake, and I didn’t get the bumps, but I’ll let them off, what with Chris’s bad back and my mum awaiting new knees. :)

My birthday month spectacular is in full swing! :)

I’m really very excited by turning 50! The first 49 years have been amazing (with a few notable exceptions) I can’t wait to see what the next 50 years bring. :)

Sunday we were up with the larks and out for breakfast in a cafe that’s just opened up near us.

Cafe Plaza, Braintree is a real treat.

The weather was glorious, and we sat outside to eat it, which was very pleasant and unexpected.

We’re not known for the weather here.

Top from M&S, Linen Joggers from Tesco, Shoes from Gucci.

We then headed to Costco. Which was shopping hell, and I only ever remember I’ve sworn off of going there, once I’m in there.

That said I did stock up on absolute essentials…(debatable of course).

They do however sell a really good quality paper towel (kitchen roll). I use this for the kitchen, and stoma bag change time.

I really love a thick, good quality paper for this. I find toilet paper disintegrates, and the dry wipes the stoma company supply aren’t very absorbent (in my experience and opinion) for drying the area. It’s great for washing my stoma. But I prefer to dry it before applying the new bag, with a good quality, highly absorbent paper towel. That way I’m able to be confident the new bag will last.

I am stocked up with paper for the foreseeable future. Which means one less thing to worry about. :)

Have a lovely weekend. Keep well. Xx