It’s a long one this week…
This is my love letter to India;
We’re home after an incredible return to India, actually, by the time you read this I’ll probably be in Spain but that’s a story for another time.
I first visited India 4 and a half years ago, we got back from there about 2 days before Zak was born. So when I say it’s felt like a lifetime ago, I’m not exaggerating, it literally was Zak’s lifetime ago.
Chris has been to India far more than I have. Our first Christmas as a couple he was in India (having booked it before we had met), plus he’s been for business multiple times.
When I said I’d really like to go to there, he was a bit reticent. I have germ phobia, with fairly high anxiety, and a fondness for things to be just so.
He felt that his earlier experiences of India were not conducive with how I feel and live.
So, with some trepidation we set off on our most grand adventure some four and a half years ago.
And it’s then that I fell in love with india. A country of extraordinary extremes. A country when written on paper makes no sense to our sanitised world here back home. But it was a magical experience.
We had been yearning to go back ever since we got home in February 2019.
Unfortunately, the pandemic and visa issues made this impossible until now.
In the build up to this most recent trip I panicked that I had misremembered our first trip, that maybe I had imagined how being there made me feel.
But I needn’t have worried, because if you love India, then you love it with your entire soul. It moves you, it takes hold of you. It gets you, and you get it, even when it’s difficult to understand and confronting.
I’m pretty sure you will never see poverty like you will see in India anywhere else. But I’m also pretty sure you will never find a country with such a huge amount of contentment and peace, it’s that contentment which is extremely humbling. It really makes you take stock.
When we go to India it is always to 5 star hotels, I see no reason that you’d have to stay in 0 star shacks to find the ‘real India’, as the people who enjoy 0 star shacks are always banging on about.
You cannot escape the ‘real India’…if by that they mean the real india = poor people.
I have very strong views on this, for example, if you came to visit me here in England, I wouldn’t take you to the most desperately deprived areas of the country to show you the ‘real England’.
No, I’d take you to Lavenham, Saffron Walden or Finchingfield. The beautiful chocolate box villages and towns that are so steeped in history and beautiful to look at.
You wouldn’t need to see people at their worst and struggling to survive to see the “real” of any country.
(I find visiting supermarkets is a great way of getting insight into a country and how it ticks. I particularly love pharmacy stores in America for this purpose).
(I got talking to an English lady at Mumbai airport on our way home. She had gone for “the real India experience “. And had to check out of that particular hotel after 2 nights as the place was dreadful, but I’m struggling to comprehend how booking somewhere that doesn’t even make it on to a star rating chart could ever have been considered a good idea?).
You can’t actually escape seeing the poverty in India. It is all around you. It is confronting and devastating.
But that doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy yourself there. Two things can be true at the same time.
I feel so calm and at peace there, which may seem very odd I imagine. But once you have seen people with nothing, literally nothing, you know that what you have is enough, what you are is enough. It opens your eyes and your mind to feel complete, and completely at peace.
You don’t just see India, you feel it too, it takes you in and wraps around your soul.
You don’t have to make sense of a country to love it.
The downsides of India:
*Poverty ~ obviously this is the number one cause of shock, and overwhelming for us coming from our lives of plenty. But every country has its share of poverty to some degree. (I volunteer at a food bank here, I know this country has its problems too, but we’re just better at glossing over them).
*Also, the litter. It’s staggering and bizarre. But it’s not my country, and not my place to judge (And actually sometimes Braintree district council here doesn’t bother cleaning up litter sufficiently, so I’m not judging a country by their litter picking habits).
I got chatting to an Indian lady at Mumbai airport, who had just flown in from Bhutan, where it’s apparently spotlessly clean. She was telling me how angry coming home made her feel because it’s such a mess.
And maybe that’s the issue really, maybe because the people at the very bottom have nothing to compare it to, they no longer notice the rubbish strewn streets, it’s just their normal, plus just surviving the day is hard enough without having to worry about litter picking duty.
One of our tour guides explained that the inside of all Indian homes are spotless. It’s just the outside that is a bit of a thinker.
If you can leave your judgement at home, India is heavenly. If you can’t, you might find it’s not for you.
The upside to India;
*The people are so warm and friendly and so welcoming. We were genuinely invited to the homes of quite a few people we met.
*The historical sites are absolutely stunning. Some of the best in the world.
*The food is sensational, we had Indian food breakfast, lunch and dinner and we never tired of it.
*It feels very safe to walk around, even at night. Although, I wouldn’t advise lone women to do that anywhere in the world, with the exception maybe of Iceland.
*The wares on offer can be exceptional. I bought some beautiful throws and shawls made by artisans, from cashmere, from Kashmir. Which are the best of the best.
*India gives you a reset and a sense of peace. Nowhere in the world has made me feel more comfortable and calm and at peace. It truly is my favourite place on earth.
*Zero jet lag whilst there, and minimal jet lag on the return home. Which is fabulous! I find the jet lag from going west to east is horrendous. Savage to be honest. But east to west is pretty manageable.
*In the entirety of our stay I only had 1 insect bite. Which is very surprising for me as I’m usually an all you can eat buffet for bugs.
I’d be very happy to give any travel advice for anyone interested, from my own experiences and perspective.
When we booked the last trip we used our fabulous travel agent, and friend, Jane, who I adore, and who planned out the most incredible itinerary through Kuoni.
But having been there already, we decided to go it alone, and it worked out very well.
The saving we made by booking it ourselves, Chris used to book us business class seats there and back. And god forgive me for my audacity of privilege, but I never want to fly anything but business class, (if the flight is 7 hours or more ever again!).
We’ve never flown anything more than premium economy before, so for us it was heaven. And made the holiday very special from the moment we got to the airport. That’s when our holiday began.
During our 2019 trip we visited Delhi, Agra, Jaipur, Mumbai and Goa.
This time we decided to just focus on the main two we very much enjoyed before. If time and money were no object I’d visit the original places again and again, plus others too.
But time was limited and so was cash. So we made do with what we could do.
This time we flew to Mumbai, although there isn’t an awful lot to do in Mumbai to be honest, the main reason for this stop off at the beginning of our holiday was to meet up with our friends who are from Mumbai.
We haven’t seen them since they came to England in December of 2019. So it was a long overdue catch up.
Mumbai is a fantastic cosmopolitan city, it’s great, but it doesn’t have the ancient history that other cities in India has.
Dress from Primark, Shoes from Gucci, Hat from Lock & Co
The business class seat, with flat beds meant that we arrived ready to hit the ground running. Which made a huge difference to our trip.
No trip to Mumbai is complete without a visit to the landmarks.
Above: Marine Drive.
Below : The Gateway of India and The Taj Mahal palace hotel.
We stayed at the Taj Mahal Hotel last time we came to Mumbai. It is utterly beautiful, if you go make sure to book the old part of the hotel if you want that old world feel, not the tower.
We booked only Oberoi hotels for this trip. Which are fabulous. The one in Mumbai doesn’t have that olde worldy feel, but it does have floor to ceiling windows overlooking the bay (if you book at sea view room). The sunsets are wonderful from the comfort of your room.
One of the things I particularly love about India is that there I’m something of a celebrity…no, not actually a real celebrity, but yellow hair, pale skin and green eyes makes you stand out and therefore interesting. Once again this trip I must have been trending on Instagram of India hahahahah. I had my photo taken a lot. :)
It’s cute, I like it. It definitely takes a bit of getting used to, but it’s not a problem, and of course if you don’t want to have your photo taken with people, then just say no.
We felt so fresh when we arrived, even after the nine hour flight, that we decided to head out straight away for a bit of sightseeing.
It was just as we remembered it. Vibrant, busy, chaotic and beautiful.
Now I should explain if you are new to this blog, Chris and I are not walkers, we are not your craghopper trousered, hiking boot types.
We are sedate city people, who can walk for miles on pavements, interspersed with shopping and coffee stops, but ask the same distances of us in the countryside and we will buckle and probably cry a bit.
We love romantic walks to Selfridges.
So it was a bit surprising that we went for a walk and just carried on walking. Especially when cabs are ridiculously cheap, we were a bit surprised ourselves to be honest.
We walked for hours and miles, in 36 degree heat and humidity off the chart.
We had seen a program about Indian railways, yes, I know, we are super cool people. Hahaha
We both really wanted to see the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, (photo above) the main train station in Mumbai. It’s a hive of activity and a very beautiful Victorian building.
The walk was far, but absolutely worth it. We did however get a cab back to the hotel, which cost £2, so no, I have no idea why we even contemplated walking.
It was a fabulous first day back in the country. We then headed to the hotel spa for massages. Life is all about balance right?
The next day was, as it turned out, Diwali! We didn’t plan it that way, but it couldn’t have been better.
Our friends very generously made time to see us at what is essentially their Christmas.
Imagine just turning up to visit someone on Christmas Day! Well that’s basically what we did. And I will be forever grateful to our wonderful friends for spending time with us.
They booked the four of us into a very nice restaurant for a 14 course taster menu. Yes, you read that right, 14 courses!!
I’d say the only problem with it was all the dishes were absolutely incredible, and therefore we ate every scrap of all 14. I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t like a course or two, so as not to over eat, but they just kept getting better and better.
Each course was more beautiful and more delicious than the rest.
Our friends, Seema and Janak made us feel so welcome. It was absolutely wonderful to see them again.
A few people have asked me what to wear in India. And the best advice I can give is to dress modestly. It’s not a beach wear in the streets destination.
It’s not burkas and hijabs either. It’s simply best to wear classy, covered, respectful clothing.
People will stare at you if you are a westerner as it is, but they’d definitely stare if you are dressed risquély.
Dress from All Saints, Shoes from Gina, Bag from Jimmy Choo
We had an amazing time with our friends, and then they headed off to some more Diwali celebrations, and Chris and I headed off to the hotel to try and let our epic meal go down.
Our room at the hotel overlooked Marine Drive, we started noticing people gathering on the wall. I then realised that the sun sets in Mumbai are similar to those in Goa (the best sunsets I have ever seen in my life were in Goa).
We then went back into our room and pretty much settled down for the evening. That’s when we heard the fire works start.
I will never forget Diwali in Mumbai for the rest of my life. Our trip couldn’t have been better timed.
We started by watching in wonder from our hotel room. Watching with morbid fascination at the complete lack of care for safety. We were brought up with the fire works code. With Jimmy Saville’s Play it safe. With adverts bombarding us with the knowledge that if we even in the slightest misbehaved near near a firework we would be blinded, killed or maimed. No question about it. You do not play with fireworks.
So imagine our surprise when out of our window we could see people breaking all the rules, every single firework rule known to very sanitised English people of a certain age.
Who can forget the horrifying plight of poor Julie, blinded by the fireworks those bad boys threw in the 1970s advert. Chilling to this very day.
So what did we do?
Well, the intrigue became too much, so we decided to take a closer look.
We first started watching from across the road, and then we got a bit more excited and confident and got closer to the action.
I was standing watching when I noticed a chap sitting on a motorbike with a side car, the side car happened to be full to the brim of rockets and assorted other fireworks.
Now, as a child we were taught to keep the fireworks in a metal tin, indoors, until they were ready to be lit.
And here I am standing next to an overly full side car full of fireworks. I laughed at the bonkers-ness of it, and smiled to the man. He and his wife then explained that they own a fireworks shop and they had come to Marine Drive to celebrate Diwali.
By this point thousands of people were here watching too. And at any given moment in time, hundreds of fireworks were being lit all at once all along the street.
They did not have the firework code drilled into them in India. And what a fabulous adventure that made for Chris and I.
The locals were laughing at our faces of shock, horror, excitement and pure joy at their being so reckless with fireworks.
The shop keeper gave us a sparkler each, for free. Which we were very excited about.
And then he said to Chris “do you want to light a firework?”
Which we both said “oh no, no no, we’re not allowed”
And then Chris thought “fuck it”, when in Rome and all that!
So off he went to light fireworks at Diwali in Mumbai. A more special moment couldn’t be had.
An English man came through the crowd and excitedly started saying “did I just see you lighting fireworks?!?”
“Yes! Yes you did!”
It was absolutely amazing! Wild and wonderful and never to be forgotten.
Like I said, India is a confusing and complicated place. But it is also the most magical place on earth.
Dress from Michael Kors, Shoes from Gina
Dress from Missoni, Shoes from Hermes, Bag from Balenciaga
We spent the next evening with our friends again, this time at their brand new apartment. I have never been in such a fancy beautiful home in my life. They are on the 40th floor, overlooking Mumbai, with a view of the city and the sea. It’s breathtaking. Utterly stunning. Our friend had some home cooked meals prepared for us. I do believe you can’t find a more ‘real India’ experience than having dinner at your friends’ from India, in their Indian home.
Mumbai stop 1 was a dream, and then we took a flight to Jaipur. My favourite place on the planet.
(*note for stoma users, if like me you cut your bags as you go, please remember to pack your scissors into your hold luggage. I had the unfortunate incident of having both of my scissors confiscated from me. Which was a little worrying. As I had thought I’d pack one in hand luggage, one in hold luggage. But I’d messed that up. We had to buy some more scissors in a chemist in Jaipur. He only had some office type scissors for sale, so I had to make do with them).
My most favourite place on earth is Jaipur, more specifically, the Oberoi hotel in Jaipur. When we went last time I thought I’d died on the way to the hotel and gone to heaven.
If heaven isn’t as good as this place I won’t be going, although I think we can assume I won’t be eligible for entry to start with. ;)
As this is a dressing well with a stoma blog, I shall focus on what I wore in India. But if you want any info about going to India please feel free to drop me a line.
Dress from Nobody’s Child.
Dress from Zara, shoes from Gucci
Dress from The White Company, Shoes from Hermes
Google things to do in Jaipur and you will be bombarded with incredible places to see and things to do.
We did all the big ticket places on our last trip, so this time we could take a step back from the beaten track, and see some really wonderful places off grid. Our driver told us about them and they were all incredible.
Dress from Jigsaw, shoes from Hermes.
Dress from Macy’s NYC.
Perfect for high tea at the owner of the Oberoi Hotel group’s private home. They run trips to watch the sun go down when he’s not in residence. It was absolutely beautiful. And the food, oh my goodness, the food.
Dress from an Instagram shop, covered and conservative enough for a trip to a sacred site. This was our first time to The Monkey Temple. And it was awesome! Absolutely amazing.
One of the monkeys climbed on Chris’s shoulder, which was a step too far for a coward like me. But I happily fed them.
We told a waitress at the hotel about our experience there and she said when she went a monkey stole her bag and refused to return it for an hour, until he was finally satisfied with the food she was bargaining with.
Wear a backpack to solve this issue. :)
Then from there our driver took us to the Lake Palace, Amber Fort, which we had been to before, but it were wonderful nonetheless.
I bought a few things from some market stalls there. Mainly because I feel it’s the right thing to do. We spend a lot on hotels, but that doesn’t really make too much difference to the local economy. So buying stuff from markets hopefully helps a bit.
Our driver asked if we wanted to see anything else and we said yes please!
So he took us to this beautiful spot. I believe it’s a Maharaja’s cremation site. It cost 50p each to get in and we were the only ones there for most of our visit.
It’s stunning.
I saw a dress very similar in design to this one in Harrods. That particular dress didn’t go up to my size, so it looked god awful on me. It was also, £395.
This dress is almost identical to it, which I bought for £49 from TK Maxx, in my size. Which is always a bonus! ;)
I packed a selection of swimsuits, wearing bikinis and swimsuits is perfectly acceptable within the hotel complex.
Swimsuit from DKNY from TK Maxx, Trousers from TK Maxx
Robe from H&M, Bikini from Tesco.
Swimsuit from DKNY from TK Maxx.
Bikini from Sainsbury’s.
After our fabulous Jaipur adventure it was back on a plane to Mumbai.
First on the itinerary was to meet up with our friends from Essex, who were passing through Mumbai on their way to Goa, and we were passing through on our way home. So we had 2 glorious days with them having fun in Mumbai.
Plus Chris and I were meeting up with some other dear friends from India. It was jam packed with making wonderful memories.
Dress from Jigsaw, Shoes from Hermes, Bag from Jimmy Choo
We booked a restaurant called Ekaa, which was incredible! Definitely worth a visit if you are in the area. Indian food with a modern twist. 10 out of 10, would recommend.
We had such a fun evening. And it was pretty darn cool to meet up with our group of friends that we call Curry Club, because we meet up for curry, a lot, and have done for 15 years or more.
Dress from Nicole Fahri from TK Maxx, Shoes from Dior, Bag from Gucci.
It was also wonderful to meet up with our dear friends, who we first met in England some 18 ago, while they were working here. It was so lovely to be able to catch up with them.
Then we met up with the Essex group for a nighttime site seeing tour, which was absolutely fantastic!
The best part of the tour? Our guide was thrilled when we asked if we could go dress shopping for traditional Indian clothes (he wasn’t, dresses not his area of expertise, but let’s pretend he was), but he was pleased at our delight at the city, so he added on a train ride for us. Only a 10 minute journey but we had the most amazing experience.
I think we’ve all seen footage of train journeys in India, ours wasn’t a busy one like that, but who doesn’t love a train ride anywhere.
We had the best night, we saw massive bat, someone’s pet rat, a dog, a cat and a cow. It was fabulous fun.
I found my rightful place at the station. ;)
We visited a sacred Hindu shrine, with special water.
It was a varied and very interesting tour.
It was actually a very special trip, because a lot has happened in between the time our friends originally booked their trip, pre covid, to now.
They got married for a start, so this holiday became their honeymoon! Chris and I didn’t go on a proper honeymoon back in the day, we had 1 night in a hotel, in Dunmow, which did seem like a very long way from our home in Romford at the time, but is now about 6 miles down the road from our house in Braintree, and 3 nights in a cottage of Chris’s cousin, in Somerset. So this trip to Mumbai was my first honeymoon experience, and I very much enjoyed it!
Congratulations once again Catie and Michael, it was a pleasure to spend such a special time with you. Xx
Dress from Primark, Shoes from Gucci.
It was then time for Chris and I to head back to the UK, and for the others to head to Goa for the rest of their amazing adventure.
We have had a blast! We are planning and saving for our next trip there. Places we want to see, places we want to revisit. I’m excited and happy to be thinking about it, knowing it really will happen at some stage.
I’d love to be able to take our boys, their girls and Zak one day. India has to be seen to understand how magical it truly is. Xx
We’re off to Spain for a long weekend, it’s been ages since we had a holiday, it’s been at least three days hahahaha
Keep well, stay safe. Much love xx
Ps.
Before I forget, I’d also recommend a visit to an amazing shop in Mumbai, if like me you have a fascination with bridal wear.
It’s called Sabyasachi, and it is one of, actually, it’s is the most spectacular looking shop I’ve ever seen. It is a feast for the eyes. The decor is stunning, but the wedding dresses are sensational!
In my next life I want to come back as a rich Indian bride. :)
You aren’t allowed to take photos in there, which I didn’t know at the point this photo was taken. I wish I could have shown you the dresses. They are heavenly.
A visit there is a must!
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