You know I always go on about how happy and confident and comfortable I am having a colostomy?
Well, I am, and what I have said many times is true…
BUT, there are times when I have a little wobble. And Thursday last week was one of those times.
We were invited to spend the day with some friends at their house in Southwold, on the Suffolk coast.
Our friends are lovely, Southwold is lovely. But there was fear on my part.
They invited us to lunch with them and their two children, at their home. We were really looking forward to it.
But eating is a big issue for me, clearly, I mean emotionally, rather than physically. :)
When I eat, when any of us eat, it causes peristalsis. Which means for me, no longer having a rectum to hold back the action, if I'm eating ~ I'm pooing and if I'm pooing then it's bound to cause wind too.
And this is my kryptonite. This is my Achilles heel and the chink in my armour.
I'm not particularly ladylike, I swear like a drunken sailor on shore leave. Plus I haven't got the correct deportment to be ladylike in the real sense of the word. But farting has always been, and will always be an absolute no-no.
And unfortunately, farting is now is no longer something I can control. It happens at any time, without warning. And it horrifies me. I want to curl up into a ball and hide in shame. I know we all do it. But that doesn't help me much if I'm sitting having a nice meal with friends (or even worse than that - business colleagues of Chris’s) and my body decides to pass wind loudly.
I enjoy the convenience of my colostomy. I think it's a great addition and more than anything it certainly beats dying of the disease that tried to kill me. But even I'm not 100 per cent comfortable with all aspects of stoma life. I’m 99.9% happy - but the noise part, that wounds me.
So off we went to Suffolk, excited to see our friends, but nervous to eat in front of them.
First things first was finding the right outfit to the day ahead.
A dress would have been better for poo room throughout the day, but it was a very windy day (weather-wise, not me).
So although a dress would be better, it's not much good if I'm spending the day flashing my undies to the locals.
I chose these leggings/jeans which I bought from Tesco last week.
They're super soft and extremely comfortable. They are not without risk, but they looked great and felt great, so I gave it a go.
We arrived in sunny Southwold and found our way to our friend’s house. If you ever get the chance to go to Southwold I'd very much recommend it. It's stunning. I think it's one of, if not the nicest, beach village in England.
It's filled with picture-postcard, chocolate box houses and the beach is incredible.
Our friends made us a wonderful lunch. Jules made the most delicious Panzanella, something I have wanted to try many times, but never been brave enough to. I am the woman who's only just had Greek salad remember, and I've never even had a Caesar salad yet, I'm very slow to the salad game!
They laid on a glorious buffet. Of which I ate a lot. With my hand clamped tightly to my stoma. Hoping against hope that I can prevent any loud noise incidents.
It actually works okay-ish. A cushion would probably be better as a silencer but I don't tend to carry one around with me and it’d look a bit odd even if I did.
So my hand tightly cupped over my stoma has to suffice.
Our friends know I have a stoma, but I doubt very much that their children do. So it made me more nervous and fearful.
Their children are delightful, really wonderful calm, polite boys. But, most children (actually most adult men, and some adult women too find farts funny. I have a pretty good sense of humour, but don't really want to be the butt of the joke - literally).
We got through lunch without incident. My stoma burbled away but with no great booming noises.
Jules suggested a walk on the beach. Which was perfect for me for many reasons;
1, it would let my digestive tract do its thing, outside with the noise of the sea and windy conditions.
2, I always grab the opportunity to walk on a beach as Chris isn't a beach babe, he's a beachaphobe ;)
And 3, Jules mentioned an ice cream en route, so obviously, I was all in!
We left their house and walked around the corner to the ice cream shop, only to find the queue was at least an hour-long! For an ice cream!
We decided to head to the beach first instead. And happened upon an ice cream kiosk down there, aptly named Suzie’s, with the most delicious ice cream, and absolutely no queue at all.
If you do go to Southwold, I’d recommended Suzie’s on the beach.
We then walked down the beach towards the beautiful Sizewell B power plant hahaha. Don't let that put you off. It's actually not a blot on the landscape.
We then headed into the dunes for a sit down and rest. I love dunes. It reminds me of such happy times as a child on holidays with my family. A day at the beach, lunching in the calm of the dunes.
I love that sensation of the noises of the beach disappearing as you nestle into the sound and wind barrier made by the dune.
We loved spending time with our friends. Yes, I find it scary just in case my body makes noises I have no control over. I have choices of course, we all do. I could stay home and live the life of a hermit, the life incidentally, that I assumed pre op I’d be living. Or I can risk the humiliation and live life to the full.
Well, I made my choice, we didn't leave theirs until quarter to nine, and we’d only gone there for lunch.
It was the most perfect day, a successful day all round;
Chris decided to go on one of the fun fair rides, ice cream was eaten, beach strolls were had, and no farts were given. ;)
Top from Holland Cooper, Jeans from Tesco, Bag & Shoes from Tod’s
These shorts, below, were not only cheap but extremely soft and cosy.
Probably most ideally suited for beach days, over a bikini or swimsuit. But they are perfect for pottering around my in the garden in too.
I wore jeans the day before. I always try and alternate so I don’t have continuous days of restricted output.
I find I get less constipation if I allow for free flow.
I don’t want to jinx it but I’ve had no bouts of constipation for a while now.
Keeping hydrated helps. But also I’m trying to cut down on junk, so I’m eating a lot of fruit, which can help make life easier on my bowels.
Although eating a lot of fruit has also been known to block them up. Getting the balance right is like a meticulous scientific experiment. I think luck has more to do with it that judgement. I’m going to take the wins where I can and enjoy this phase of good fortune. :)
Top from Ralph Lauren, Shorts from Tesco
Saturday I was pottering around in the kitchen cleaning the pots and pans drawer (I live a hedonistic existence!). I said to Chris that our saucepans were coming to the end of their natural life, and surprisingly, he agreed.
A brief history of me; just over 30 years ago I was a highly trained, professional Nanny. That was my job until I retired aged 23 to be a full time mum…and I’ve been hiding at home, under the guise of “Stay at home mum” ever since…even though my children both left home years ago. Shhhhhhh, just don’t tell Chris, I don’t think he’s noticed. ;)
The two families I nannied for had, amongst other glorious things, Le Creuset saucepans. Well ever since I worked for them I dreamt of having my own (oh yes reader, I had lofty ambitions, high expectations and heady life goals). :)
….but that day came on Saturday. We needed new pans, and Chris agreed we’d get them.
We went to the shop to buy them. Only to discover they do not make the saucepans in all the colours that they make the casserole dishes in.
It’s never occurred to me to look at the pans in great detail, as I just assumed they did them in all colours, and I wasn’t ready to buy them till now.
I didn’t want the original orange or red, or dark grey.
I wanted pink, cream or mint or baby blue.
So after a walk around the shops for a bit to gather my thoughts (and yes, my life is a continuous stream of first world problems), we went back to get some Le Creuset pans at last, but they aren’t the cast iron ones, just their standard normal saucepans.
Besides them not making a colour that I wanted, I couldn’t actually lift the cast iron ones up. I attempted to pick the mid size one up off the shelf and pain instantly shot across my hernia. So really it’s for the best that they don’t make ones I’d wanted anyway.
My new pans, though lovely, are not beautiful like I thought I’d be getting, but nice enough.
They do however make the casserole dishes in about 15 colour ways. I have a couple of them, I shall have to content myself with those.
The irony isn’t lost on me that I can’t cook ~ but I love nice pans to not cook well with. hahahah
Jumper from Holister, Jeans from Tesco
He treated me to another cheeky Nando’s too…
What I thought they made…
What they actually make…
What I bought…
Sunday I invited my mum and dad for a roast dinner. I’ve been perfecting my roasts of late. Well, mainly I’ve focused on the potatoes. I’ve been roasting new potatoes with the skin on. I want to increase fibre and decrease hassle, and skin on potatoes fits the brief.
I wanted to make a beautiful table scape for my mum…and dad, but mainly my mum, because she bought me some ginger jars from a junk shop while she was away on holiday.
What better way to say thank you, than doing a blue and white theme, with green thrown in.
I’d seen a couple of scapes on Pinterest which inspired my Sunday table.
My attempt turned out really well. I added the new jars my mum bought for me too.
The meal was okay. The table was beaut. I even bought some chocolates in the corresponding colour of my theme.
Delight people with treats, thrill them with a beautiful table ~ and hope for the best that they don’t notice you’re a terrible cook.
Below is the scape I took my inspiration from…
Below;
Dress from French Connection, Shoes from Gucci
It was a lovely day.
So this week we finally got to do something that was originally booked for 2020.
It was definitely worth the wait.
We took a group of clients to the polo and it was brilliant!
We travelled down the night before. The Cartier polo was being held at Guards Club, a really fancy polo club frequented by British royals and the upper classes alike…and they let in the riff raff for corporate days too, so yay, lucky us. :)
We stayed at Penny Hill Park hotel, it’s really really lovely and I’d definitely recommend. Penny Hill is the training ground of the England rugby team, if you’re interested in rugby. I’m not but good for them, it’s a gorgeous place and the spa is apparently incredible.
Chris and I love polo. And no, we weren’t brought up on it. I can’t say there was much polo going on in my high school…truancy and play ground fights yes, polo not so much. Hahahahaha
We went for the first time in 2018, another client entertaining experience. But we loved it immediately. It’s an incredible watch. Like modern day gladiators or knights jousting.
We enjoy going to horse racing, but I’m not a gambler so I don’t get the thrill others might.
Polo isn’t a gambling pursuit. I mean people probably do bet on the outcome but there’s no tote at the matches.
Dress from Hugo Boss, Shoes Jimmy Choo, Bag Tory Burch
I feel privileged that I get to go to lovely places, with equally lovely people.
In all the years we’ve been client entertaining we’ve never had the misfortune of a rotten one. You’d think we would have done in the 25 years Chris has worked for the company, but nope, not a single stinker.
A lot of the people we’ve met through client entertaining have been so lovely we kept them and we’ve made long and lasting friendships with.
I have met some of my most favourite people through Chris’s job.
Wednesday was no exception, one of the couples are our dear friends, one of the couples were our son and his fiancé Milly, and the others we were with were fantastic fun too.
With Kim…
With Milly, my gorgeous daughter in law.
What better way to spend a day than with some of my favourite people.
(And yes, I am incredibly short, even with heels on).
It was wonderful to spend the day with our son, amongst others.
As you can see I’m incredibly classy, as proven by the pints!! Almost a mega pint in fact!
I did want a non alcoholic champagne but all the had was 0.0 Peroni, so needs must. ;)
I poured my alcohol free larger into a plastic champagne flute, so we’re getting there on the classy score. :)
One of the highlights of going to the polo is living out your Pretty Woman fantasy ~ Stamping the divots back in during the half time ~ rather than the prostitution part, but you know what, I’m not going to judge you on where the fantasy ends, you do you babes. Hahaha
A cream dress for a woman that poops through a hole in her abdomen might be a bold choice, but what is life if we don’t live dangerously every now and then.
I have fear of my stoma making noise, I have fear of my stoma bag leaking, but I will not live in fear. I live with it. There’s a difference.
I still go out and about. I love my life. I’m grateful I get to live it, so I’m damn well sure I’m going to live it well.
One of, if not the only reason, I live my life with faith and conviction is this man right here. He is the best. He’s one of life’s good ones.
He treats me like a queen, if he had it, he’d give me the world. But more than that he gives me the confidence to step out into it with my head held high.
He makes me believe I am still vibrant and worthwhile, even at 49, even with a colostomy.
I’m not sure I’d be this bold without him.
Also he cracks me up. He’s always spoiling me. Okay, so everyone got spoiled at the polo. He went walkabout to find me a hot chocolate. He couldn’t get any, so he knew what the next best thing would be!
He bought 10 ice creams, and let me tell you delivering ten Mr Whippy’s intact is no mean feat! Hahah
My love, and my hero. xx
Apparently he caused quite the stir with this, as others requested to borrow the ice cream stand for delivering bulk ice cream orders too. :)
If you ever get the chance to go to a polo match I’d highly recommend it. It seems really fancy. But actually it’s incredibly interesting and very watchable.
Have an amazing weekend. Xx