Right, I’ll warn you now, it’s going to be quite table scape focused this week. Why? Well I think I achieved my best one yet!!
But we’ll get to that in a minute.
A question I am often asked is “why do you write your blog?”
It’s a fairly simple answer really. Before I had my stoma surgery I felt that it was going to be the most appalling life post op. I felt that if I survived the cancer, I’d never be the same again.
I absolutely, honestly thought I’d never leave the house again. I told Chris that was my plan.
He was so supportive. He said we’ll do whatever it is that will make you happy.
Obviously the thought of self imposed exile didn’t make me happy at all. But it’s all I could envisage for the future.
So imagine mine, and my families surprise when I not only felt able to get back out into the world, I threw myself into it.
Six months after my AP resection and oophorectomy I was laying on a beach in Cuba. And I’ve never looked back.
So in my own small way I want to right a wrong. I wanted to show the world that life after surgery can be bigger and better than ever!
(I appreciate this is not the case for some. I understand. I very much empathise, and I am very sorry if this is your experience).
My blogs are a diary of me, a celebration of unexpected joy. A joy I didn’t know, and certainly didn’t believe could exist after having a stoma bag fitted.
Perhaps that’s why I still feel excited everyday about getting another day. Surviving cancer has an awful lot to do with my 12 years of elation, of gratitude, but finding out that my life can be as big or as small as I choose is definitely one of life’s great surprises.
I write all about what I’ve been up to. So that people facing surgery can see what could be possible. And for those without stomas will know that it’s not the perceived grim reality that we automatically think it would be.
Through living with a stoma I have educated myself and others. I will admit I was incredibly ignorant before my surgery. I was very poorly informed. Maybe as a society we just think of poo and anything poo related as dirty, bad, shameful. When really it’s just a waste product, like the air we exhale - smellier of course (one assumes, anyway) but still a vital function of being a living breathing creature.
So what did I get up to last week, well, I was invited to be interviewed on a podcast on Thursday night. My neighbour is a musician, but also has a podcast for all sorts of interesting life topics.
I felt honoured to be invited to talk about all things bowels and cancer and making the most of life afterwards.
It’s on www.vonbeardington.com if you fancy a listen.
Then on Friday we set off for London to take a carriage full of Chris’s business clients on the Belmond British Pullman train. If you Google it you will see these beautiful train carriages in all their glory.
If you book a trip on the Orient Express from London to Europe, then for the English part of the journey you’d be on the British Belmond trains.
Chris and I have done a fair few of these trips now, and every single one has been an absolute joy.
Okay, I admit I didn’t like the destination of the trip to Stratford Upon Avon. I did still enjoy the train part (In my defence it was very Shakespeare centric, and as it turns out I am a Luddite that couldn’t give a single shite about Shakespeare and his family - nope, not one, zero interest in him at all. So it was unlikely I’d be interested in his mother in law’s house/life etc etc !). Still, we live and learn! ;)
This particular trip on Friday was a circular route with no destination. Which actually is really very pleasant. You can really settle in and get comfy. It’s the epitome of comfort.
They knew how to travel in style in the olden days.
We picked Kim and Matt up en route. Stopping for a wee and a gallon of hot chocolate along the way.
Dress from Michael Kors, Shoes from YSL, Bag from Burberry
I find the trips both exciting and nerve racking. They are a joy, an absolute pleasure. But in the back of my mind I fret, (is that the right word? I have slight anxiety) that I might end up with a bag leak or filter failure.
It runs through my head, what would I do if …
How would I change the bag if needed, and dispose of it without causing quite the smell, on a train we’re all stuck on for hours and hours.
It’s never happened you understand, I just like to play every nightmarish scenario through my mind, over and over again. Over thinking is a hobby of mine, especially negative thoughts, although I do believe I could turn pro I’m so good at it.
The key to living successfully with an over thinking, anxious brain? Think what you like, if you must, but don’t let it stop you!!
If I did have a bad bag day? Well I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
What I do do is take at least 3 stoma spare bags, and a whole pack of black disposal bags with me. If I did have to change it, at least I could wrap it triple, quadruple and whatever the 5 and 6 version of this would be. Maths was never my strong suit. ;)
Plus Ostomy room spray. Plus perfume. Basically I take everything for every eventuality. Because that’s what gives me at least some comfort on a day out.
Living successfully with a stoma isn’t about being happy and confident at all times. No, success comes from getting out there and living it well, even on the scary days.
Putting in place practices that will keep you feeling as confident as possible - emotionally and physically is vital.
Be it a nice dress, a pair of shoes or a beautiful bag. Plus a shit ton of stoma supplies. ;)
Do anything that gives you the courage to step outside.
We had a fantastic day!! The clients are always blown away by it.
I think the nostalgia factor is so Breathtaking. You can take clients to fancy restaurants, but the Pullman trains are just that step on from wowing them with a nice restaurant.
The soup on the train was possibly the best soup I’ve ever had in a restaurant ever. I very much look forward to going back on again.
The next trip is a murder mystery one. Which is always fun.
No mishaps were had and everyone had a wonderful time (or at least, I hope so).
Then comes Saturday. And it was a very special day indeed. Kim is turning 40 next week so I invited her, Matt and the kids round for lunch.
What I didn’t tell her was that I had invited our friends and her mum round as a surprise too! :)
Although Kim mostly dresses in black, like an Italian nona, her favourite colour is pink. So pink was my theme for the day. I asked everyone to dress in pink. And I dressed the house in pink.
Pink pink pink as far as the eye could see!!
Dress from Nobody’s Child, Tights from Snag, Boots from Valentino Rock Studs.
…literally in the pink…
And then, just when you think it’s pink enough - add more!!
The flower wall was one of the 17 I was sent accidentally from that eBay company last year. When I contacted them to tell them their error they said to keep them as a gift. :)
Add a Kim and the girls, then add surprise friends to jump out on her…
Kim has form for cutting cakes in a terrible manner, which is why I had the personalised cake toppers made. One of the cake toppers begged her not to touch this cake.
Friends, cakes, balloons, pink, pink and more pink. I think I pretty much nailed the birthday lunch theme.
All that was missing was a unicorn pony…
…Maybe for her 50th hahaha
For now though, happy 40th birthday Kim! :)
How to cook lunch for 14 people? Well, if you know me, you know I can’t cook.
Put simply ~ can’t cook - can’t cook.
So how do you get round that? Well there’s a place called M&S and they sort that all out for you…
Viola!!
Actually. Even this stumped me a bit. I started to read the instructions and became overwhelmed. Not difficult in all honesty. I have dyslexia and there was a lot going on in the house
Chris stepped in. That man has been saving me since 1993!
He took over the reheating. Plus I sacked myself from plating up a couple of weeks ago.
And no, before you think what a lazy bitch I am - ask Kaitlyn if I should be anywhere near presenting food on a plate!?
I had my mum and dad and Kaitlyn and Ben round for a curry. She was so appalled by my efforts she took a photo of it. And showed said photo to people on Saturday. To actual gasps of horror! Hahaha.
It did have a look of prison slop in a movie I guess. But it all goes down the same hole…and at speed in this house. Clearly food presentation isn’t my strong suit.
Table scapes, yes! Plate scapes, not so much! :)
So Chris reheated the food, and Kaitlyn served the food and we all ate the food merrily.
Chicken and veg, followed by cheese board and birthday cake.
It’s my 50th next year so I might do something similar for that, rather than feel any need to climb Kilimanjaro or abseil the Shard or something equally as notable.
Then Sunday came and it was a very special day. Our friend Fay (who we’ve know since she was 18 and I was 28) came to visit with her new baby.
I’m so happy for her. She’s waited 38 years for little Pippa. And boy oh boy was she worth the wait!
I have never in all my life met such a happy, content baby. Literally the chillest baby I’ve ever seen.
She’s 15 weeks now, and was on her first visit to Essex from Yorkshire, where Fay moved to be with her Partner Steve, some years ago.
I very handily had the pink theme going from the day before, so a quick change to some pretty green side plates and you’ve got yourself an afternoon tea.
Definitely recommend this alcohol free bubbles from Freixenet. Absolutely delicious. And twice on Saturday I tipped my glass away because I thought I’d picked up an alcoholic bubbles.
…spoiler alert, my perfect shaped and filled sandwiches are pre made ones from M&S…what?!
You didn’t think I’d be slaving in the kitchen actually making something did you??!? Come on, you know me well enough by now surely! Hahahahah
Maximise fun, minimise effort. Words to live by in my opinion. :)
Is there anything more blissful than a sleeping baby?
So with the weekend over it was time to focus of the week ahead.
Monday this week I had my PCR covid test for going into hospital on Thursday.
After the test you have to go straight home and isolate until the op (well, in this case it’s a procedure, op sounds a bit too grand for what I’m having).
I thought I’d be a bit bored at home in enforced solitude yet again. But actually I’ve really enjoyed it. I’m surprised, really surprised. I thought I’d be out of my head with boredom. But no, I’ve pottered. I’ve got things done.
I thought I’d spend the week scrolling Instagram and news. But actually I took myself to the back courtyard, which had gotten very messy in the recent high winds, with broken roof tiles and other debris.
I pottered about tidying the pots. I swept and titivated. Then made a start on the big garden. Which, to be honest, is just too big for me. It’s a lot of work for a very reluctant gardener.
That said, all in all, I’ve had a lovely time.
The sun has been shining all week. Would I have felt so happy to be stuck at home if it hadn’t been? Maybe not.
I got stuck into inside jobs too. I have been super productive.
I do wonder if in part it’s because I’ve been taking those iron tablets. Plus I had my B12 injection last week. Combine all that with sunshine and we have a half way functioning human on our hands!
So on Thursday I’m going into hospital, as a day case (I hope it’s only the day!) for a womb ablation and Mirena coil fitted.
This is hopefully going to stop the bleeding every 10 days, I’ve had since October.
When my radiotherapy broken womb, no ovaries and new HRT hit a perfect storm of chaos.
I’m nervous because I’m having a general anaesthetic for it (mind you, I’d be far more nervous without I imagine ;) )
I’m very sad that I will be on my own for it all. I’ve never had a general anaesthetic without Chris holding my hand before and after. Like I said, he’s been saving me since 1993, he is my knight in shining armour.
I have so much sympathy for anyone that has had to have any hospital treatment in the last two years. You are absolute heroes!
I’m only going as a day case and I’m upset enough about it.
The thought of being in for a stay. Gosh, makes my blood run cold. Big hugs for anyone on their own in hospital right now. Big big hugs. xx
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I think, I believe, this was my best table to date!
It took 4 months of planning and collecting the scaping pieces.
Table cloth - made by Chris
Ceramic roses - TK Maxx
Cutlery - Neptune Colchester
Salt & pepper - Le Cruset
Vintage water glasses - Amazon
Flowers - Neptune Colchester, D Byfords & sons
Glittery bows - Mrs Alice
Crowns - Charbonnel & Walker
Rose vases - Mrs Alice
Candles - Primark, Amazon & Fortnums
Pink candle votive - Boudless interiors
Pink candle holders - EBay
Glass candle holders - various car boot sales
Pale pink plates - Bittosi
Pink flower plates - my mum & dads wedding present (52 years old, very kindly on loan)
Heart door wreath - The big door wreath company
And my new pièce de résistance pink Hobnail jug from Klimchi Studio. I’m so happy with the jug I bought more. :)
Have a great week and keep well. Xx
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Also, I have been donating to various charities for Ukraine - www.dec.org.uk are great. As is World Central Kitchen.
Chris and I have discussed and agreed to take a mother and child in once this shameful government allows refugees in.
I have cried a lot over the last 14 days of this war.
the lives taken, lives ruined - is all too heartbreaking.
And if it’s unbearable to watch then what on earth must it be like there.
I watched an interview with a English chap who lives in Ukraine, with his Ukrainian wife and children. To get out of where they lived they drove past dead bodies, they were shot at and the road bombed. His kids are young. What they have seen doesn’t bear thinking about.
So taking some one in, when we have empty bedrooms seems the right thing to do. Xx
All good. Home safe and sound.
nothing untoward in there and womb ablation complete. :)
Now wearing sexy stockings for 3-5 days ;)