My Valentine

So far so good on the double HRT. The bleeding has finally subsided. Praying to the universe that it will stay that way.
Haven’t gone too heavy on the carbs and so far not particularly stabby. And ~ yes, to the other option that was available! ;)

We had a few days out in London planned so we decided to make a bit of a weekend of it.
Friday afternoon we headed into London for a bit of shopping. Chris was treating me to a little something something for my anniversary…yes! I said my!! I am who I am!!
It is our anniversary of course, but I think it just means more to me. I don’t mean that in an awful way, I’m not defaming Chris. He enjoys being married to me (hopefully). I just think wedding days. wedding anniversaries mean more to female brains. This could well be just me that thinks this way. I am willing to believe that I could be wrong.

Anyway. Off we go into London…

Dress from Nobody’s Child, Tights from Tesco, Boots from Valentino- Rockstuds.

We had such a nice time. We went to Harrods. You know me, if I’m buying something I definitely want the clubcard points from there.
I’m the most expensive cheap date you’ll ever have. :)

We then went for lunch in The Dining Room. It’s a great space. I think it’s six separate restaurants. We chose the pasta one. It was amazing. Probably the best pasta dish I’ve ever had. Also probably the smallest and most spenny, but delicious nonetheless.

And then from there we headed over to the hotel we’d booked for the night. We’d not stayed at this one before but we definitely would again.
It was so nice.
Rueben’s at the Palace is going to be a repeat experience.
We like trying hotels all over London. We have no kids and no pets relying on us. We just have ourselves to please. I’m very much enjoying this new found freedom.
Ben, our youngest son, bought a flat and left home in January 2020. We didn’t get a chance to go out and about and enjoy our carefree existence, because that little global pandemic thing brought everything to a halt.
My beloved dog died that same year, so we decided there and then that once the world was back open we’d make the most of it!
Hotel trips can be a bit of a mind **** for the bagged. No one wants accidents at the best of times. But especially not while away from home.
I change my bag for bed in hotels, just in case. I take Ostomy room spray. It’s really so much better than normal air fresheners.
I take perfume to sprits after the Ostomy room spray. …And I hope for the best! :)

We checked in, and then headed out. Chris has been looking for weird and wonderful things to see and experiences to have.
He came across Orchids after hours at Kew Gardens. It promised big. Street food, live music, lit up orchids.
Well some of it was there. But I did have to wonder, was there really that much difference to orchids in the day time, if they’re lit up in the night time?
I’m not sure. I mean, I went, I saw, but was it that much different to day time visiting.
There was live music. There was one bar with a mile long queue.
There wasn’t any street food as far as we could tell, we didn’t see or smell any come to that. Although we did see a chap with a bag of Walkers salt and vinegar crisps, so maybe that was it.
The orchids are lovely. Not my favourite flower, but that’s hardly the orchids fault. It’s more to do with the fact I can’t keep one alive longer than about 3 weeks.
Buying me an orchid as a gift is like sentencing the plant to capital punishment. It is a death sentence without the long wait. Death comes swiftly in this house.

It was nice enough. It was something different. And to be honest it was better than sitting at home on the settee where we are so often found.
Kew in the day time is one of my favourite places.
I love it there. Kew at Christmas for the light display is a must see.
Orchids after hours? Well, it felt like an extra revenue stream rather than a fully formed event. It was only £11 a ticket. So no harm in looking.
We went back to the hotel, had some food in the bar and headed off to the best night’s sleep I’d had in years!!

I slept 10pm - 3am, and then from just after 3am till nearly 7! What is this revelation?? Is this a good night’s sleep I hear people talk about!? I very much enjoyed it. Although I was a bit woozy all day the next day. My brain and body are just not used to this treat.
I felt on top of the world! I felt incredibly smug. I thought my insomnia was cured. I think we can see where this is heading…

Anyway, we got up, and got ready for a day of fun.
We had a wonderful walk from the hotel to the carpark at Cadogan Square. And then from there we walked to Ivy Asia Chelsea, to meet our friends for lunch.

Top from Michael Kors, Trousers from Quiz, Boots From Valentino.
Look at her, not a care in the world and full of hope and wonder…

I was a little nervous about Ivy Asia. I had heard some really awful experiences in one of them. Kaitlyn and her friends had a miserable time in the St. Paul’s one. Terrible service, and charged for food they didn’t receive. And when they queried it they were accused of eating it when they hadn’t.

But our friends invited us as they had enjoyed the Chelsea one. And it was worth a go.

Well I’m so glad we did. It was fantastic! The decor is incredible! The food was amazing. The staff, well, possibly a tad snooty and unfriendly. But nothing awful. If anything it was amusing really.
I always think that about staff in high end shops when they are all snotty and looking down at you, sneeringly, I want to remind them that they’re working there, while we’re shopping there, so pack it in!

It’s one of the many reasons I love Harrods. The staff are friendly, warm and helpful. Prince or pauper you are all treated well.

The decor is a delight at Ivy Asia. The food comes up in well crafted, incredibly curated ways. It is a spectacular of dry iced creations.
It is drama, it is theatre and I loved it!

We ordered the sushi. This will come as no shock to you as I exposed the fact I only tried a Greek salad for the first time in my life in Rhodes last October, but I had never had sushi before Saturday.
I really enjoyed it. I said to Chris we could give Nobu a try now. I’d avoided it before because I thought I wouldn’t like it. But, if I am to believe my friends, Ivy Asia’s sushi was representative of sushi in general.

The food was amazing! We did get charged for food that hadn’t been served but we called over one of the staff and she apologised and removed the items from the bill. A bill which I was expecting to be a small fortune. I even banned Kim from having any more Cokes because I thought they’d be astronomically expensive.
It was surprisingly good value. Really very good actually. I feel so bad about dehydrating Kim now. :)

The toilets are something to behold too. Not quite as impactful as the toilets in Sketch, but very beautiful.

There’s a warrior soldier in the men’s toilet, but I couldn’t go in there on account of not being one. Definitely worth a visit if you happen to be a boy though.

We had a lovely after lunch walk around Chelsea. We stopped for a snog in the flower arch outside Tiffany. Well, I felt guilty about the whole Coke situation. So I made it up to her. :)

We popped into a hotel Chris had recommended for a hot chocolate before heading home. The Cadogan is an absolute beauty. I definitely want to add it to my list of places to stay.

We headed back to the car and off to home.
We were driving back through London when we saw many many police stopping people.
We were then pulled over ourselves. Which we thought was hilarious. And it only got funnier and funnier.
The police officer asked Chris to step out of the vehicle and bring his driver’s license.
Which he obliged.
We had the windows open, laughing at Chris’s misfortune. When the police officer quite smugly and a tad obnoxiously asked Chris “…and where is your TFL lanyard!?!”

We all looked at each other somewhat confused. “You what???” We hollered?

“Your TFL lanyard!”

We then realised she thought Chris was a cab driver!! Hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha

He was a bit taken aback. He thought maybe it was a new Corona thing that people driving into London might need. But no, she totally was confused and thought they were only pulling over cabbies.

It was hilarious. I said to her “awwww, are you new?”

…and the accompanying officer said “unfortunately she is”

But then added “but we’ve all got to start somewhere” when she realised her comment was a tad harsh.

I asked what the whole stopping people was about. And she said it “actually it’s an initiative to protect women”.

A bold claim indeed. I asked her how it worked.
And she said we pull people over and check that the women in the car are safe.
It seemed a bit of a box ticking exercise to be honest. Firstly, no one asked Kim and I if we were safe, but I suppose the cackling gave that away. But you don’t know, we could just be nervous cacklers.
And secondly, and I didn’t like to point out the obvious irony. But the last time a woman was kidnapped off the street, raped, murdered and then set on fire was by a serving London metropolitan police officer.

I asked the officer if they’d caught any baddies. To which she replied “umm, well, no, we haven’t”

It was hilarious. They finally finished up the paper work checking our cabbie…I mean, our Chris. Hahahahaha And then sent us on our way.

Couldn’t quite believe it took so many officers to do something that takes about 6 round our way.

Anyway. We got home in good time, even with the unexpected stop.
I was excited for bed, having broken free of insomnia…

…oh, no, that’s right, I haven’t. I woke up at about 3 am, and couldn’t get back to sleep. I was a zombie by mid morning.
Where the day before I’d been skipping round like a spring lamb, Sunday I felt like I’d just been dug up.

Kim came round with the girls and we planted their potted Christmas tree in our garden. I have the room, I have no interest in gardening. So an extra tree isn’t going to hurt. In fact it can only add to the little Christmas patch I made.
It has all our old potted Christmas trees, holly bushes and eucalyptus.
The girls did a great job planting Tessa, the tree. Thoughts and prayers needed for her survival in the wild.

Look at the state of me. I felt like death warmed up.

The girls are very hopeful that Tessa will be big enough to cut for next Christmas. Dream big ladies. Dream big. :)

******
So Monday was Valentine’s Day, but also it was our 26th wedding anniversary. Yep. We’re that revoltingly adorable we got married on the day of love.
But actually I was trying to exorcise myself of Valentine’s past.
I had never been a fan, having been dumped on two consecutive years by two different men.
I remember actually groaning at the mention of the date. I said it has never been a good day for me.
And Chris said it was the perfect way to round off all those unrequited Valentine’s.
It was the perfect antidote to kissing all those frogs.
He’s amazing, is Chris. He helps me to rip up the pages that life throws at you and re write them the way you want it to be.

We went to the registry office to book a day. And came home with an absolute corker. What better day to get married than on the day of lovers and make it work for me/us in future.
We were offered 29th February, which Chris was very keen on. But it was pointed out to me that I’d get a present once every 4 years, which explained Chris’s keenness. :)

But we booked the 14th instead. It still saves money, as we only need one card and one present.
Our wedding was thrown together in five weeks.
My mum made the bridesmaids dresses, the cake, the invites.
The reception was in Chris’s mum and dads living room.
I wore a dress that my mum and dad bought for me about 4 or 5 days before the wedding. I had intended on wearing a cream suit I already owned, but my mum felt I’d regret it if I didn’t have a proper dress, make up and hair.
My dad must have agreed with her because he came to the shopping centre with us to choose and to buy it. I think it was his first and last visit to Lakeside.
It was a glorious day. I wanted a marriage, not a wedding day. We were in it for the long haul, even at 22 I knew that I’d found my happily ever after and my fairy tale beginning.
My wedding shoes were shoes that Chris’s previous fiancé had bought for Chris and hers wedding.

I found them in his loft, and felt no need to go out any buy new ones when there was a perfectly good enough pair sitting there.
Oh how he must have thought he’d struck gold with this sweet little frugal wife to be…

Hahahahaha hahahahaha haha hahahahaha

*It was once suggested to me that I was a gold digger. I asked if that could be explained and expanded upon. Seeing as when I met Chris he was unemployed and car less.
He did start a new job soon after I’d met him. But the facts remain, he wasn’t what would be classed as having it all, he did however have potential and future promise, and beautiful eyes and an exceptional bum.
Qualities I hold dear to this day. :)

…But apparently I was waiting on his inheritance. Which I thought was wonderfully, splendidly hilarious.
I don’t expect any from my own parents, so why I’d want it from anyone else’s? I want my mum and dad to blow it all and have the time of their lives!! They earned it. They should have the pleasure of spending it. Leave enough to bury them with but other than that splurge and live while they can.
I’ve always felt that way. I still feel that way. I hope my kids are getting the hint in the subtext. Hahahah

Anyway, we made it. We’re 28 years together. And 26 years married. I think it’s safe to say. I like him. He likes me.

I bought him some framed posters of the ski resorts we’ve been to for Valentine’s/Anniversary. I thought they’d be ideal for his office in the garden. He could look at them and remind himself that once a year I do what he does for me the other 51 weeks of the year. ;)

Look at us, so full of hope for the future. Even one or two of the things we’ve been through could drive a marriage apart. But apparently we can’t be stopped until the very end.


Obviously I did a scape for our special anniversary night. In all honesty it was probably created solely for my benefit but he’s very kind and said he liked it.

I treated us (really? Us? Suzanne even for you that’s a step too far) to a Valentine’s Day door wreath. It’s such a beaut. I couldn’t have made it myself. No matter what my mum says.
I’m capable of Christmas ones. But this one is a bit beyond my abilities.
It’s from the The Big Door Wreath company on Etsy, But you can find them on Instagram too.

Someone very kindly pointed out that I constantly face my knife blades the wrong way round. I didn’t even know there was a right and a wrong way. So starting up a table scaping business is definitely off the cards. Not that I was planning to.
I eat with my knife and fork in the wrong hands. I knew that. And I’m very careful to place them on the table the wrong way to me, but the right way for society.
But the blade position was a revaluation.
I’ve had a Google. It turns out that it’s to show your seated neighbour you are no threat to them physically. And that the knife on the table is going to be used solely on the plate.
I mean, I can’t make any guarantees no matter which way it’s facing. But I always feel the element of surprise comes in handy, so this is good information to know. :)

I am struggling to place them blade towards the plate as I like to see the straight edge by the plate. To me it just looks better.

But I now know, so I can’t un-know it, and I’ll have to go along with it.

I put a ready meal in the oven because who really wants to spend time cooking?
I refuse to go out on Valentine’s night. I really don’t like the vibe.
Couples being forced to eat from a set menu, and forced to show being in love, for whose benefit?
The one night of the year there is an expectation, of what no one is quite sure.

*********

I feel incredibly privileged to think that anything I say could be used to help others. I love that just by getting up and getting dressed people can see what is possible.
I know I would have appreciated seeing positive images of people with stomas before I had my operation.
And yes, it feels nice to make something so dreadful and so traumatic into a win.
People often say I always look good. That’s very kind. But really I only choose photos in which I look good, or good enough to post.

You only need to see my tree planting ceremony photos to see I look like a right rough old dog sometimes (quite often truth be told).
But when I want to, when I feel like it. I can paint on a face, and dress to the nines. I didn’t know that was ever in my future when I thought about life after my operation. I’m so glad to be proved wrong.

And yes, I do it for my benefit mostly, but if it helps just one person believe they can go out and face the world confidently and happily, then that’s special.

That feels like maybe life is already set out way in advance and things happen for a reason.
My fate, brought me to this place. And really I’m incredibly grateful and humbled that people turn up to this blog each week and read it. So, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I’ve met so many wonderful people through sharing my experiences. I feel very lucky.
Thank you for coming. See you next week. xx

Valentine’s Day Jumper from Benetton, Trousers from Quiz, Boots from Russell and Bromley.