I mentioned those convex bags last week, if you’ve not tried different bags before, it really is worth sending away for free samples.
Most stoma supply companies have free samples available. It may sound weird coming from someone who has tried different bags, but feels more comfortable in my old faithfuls.
Yes, it’s true that I wear the bags I was first ordered by the stoma nurse 11 years ago. But, I do like to try new things every now and then.
My usual daily wear bags (Dansac) have always performed well so I’ve always felt comfortable with them.
But when I saw Salts were now making flesh tone, white and jet black bags I was intrigued!
They’re a lovely quality, they feel good on. They look great, mainly because the black and the white are just different to the norm.
I do think it’s sad that bags aren’t made in varying shades of skin tones, hopefully someone is working on that gap right now.
If you’re having many bag leaks or incidents of pancaking, it might be worth trying a convex bag.
It’s worth trying anything really as leaks are going to be the biggest factor in your confidence wearing a stoma.
I don’t know about you, but my biggest fear is the potential threat of smelling.
As shocking as this will be to you, because I’ve been so calm and measured up to this point, you know me, totally not a stress head about the minutest things at all hahahahaha. But I fear smelling. I am paranoid about it.
You will find me most days, while I’m out and about sniffing at myself like a blood hound on a mission to find an escaped prisoner.
This was made far less of a problem by the global pandemic and lockdown.
I miss the world the way it was, of course I do, but at the same time it’s kept me safely tucked away at home in my sanctuary.
Well, the UK coming slowly out of its hibernation is both wonderful and unsettling all at the same time.
I can’t wait to get back out there, back into real life. We’re booked into our favourite restaurant in London, Chutney Mary, for the 17th May, the day it reopens. I’m very excited to have a meal cooked for me, by someone that knows what they are doing, and for someone else to clear the table and bring me dessert, oh my goodness I’m excited about that. But even now, over a month away, I’m thinking “what shall I wear? What has my best chance of leak protection? If I wear trousers, I’m pushing my luck right? Will a dress suit the weather? Dresses = no bag leak, yes? What shall I wear? What’s for the best? And round and round it goes, like I’m way back in 2019 again, where this was the every day reel of consciousness whirling round my brain.
It’s the only thing that bothers me to the point of terror. You might be thinking, “hold on a minute, you said stoma life was soooooo amazing!?”
And I stand by that, it absolutely is!! But that doesn’t mean I’m impervious to fear and upset about occasional leaks.
I will recover, I will brush myself off and rise (and shop) again, but I still feel the knock of confidence a bag leak brings.
It’s ok to be nervous and confident all at the same time.
I’ll tell you a story, a tale of bravery and heroism…
A few months after my AP resection (permanent stoma surgery) Chris took me for a day out in London. He had the foresight to drive up and park in the city.
I was having a wonderful time, walking floor after floor of beautiful things in Harvey Nichols.
I was mid purchase (well, ‘we’ were, as I had no job at the time) anyway, I/we were mid trying on a beautiful pair of Jimmy Choo shoes…when the smell and with it, the terror hit me.
I turned to Chris, with eyes wide, like a rabbit in the headlights, frozen, if I move it will waft more smell out.
I panicked. But Chris, my rock, my heart, my tether to reality, calmly said it wasn’t a problem, we’d leave the shoes for now and go and get me sorted out.
We speedily, but personally, sheepishly, left the store. Made our way back to the car, avoiding close contact with people (if it had happened now, face masks in the population would help very much with this misery).
Back at the car I changed my bag, yep, I can change my bag pretty much anywhere. I’ve done it in sheds, garages, and multiple cars.
I have a solid output because I have a low down colostomy. Not sure if a high output ileostomy would be a good idea, but mine is ideal for it.
I changed said bag, which had pancaked terribly, poo was just about to breach the base plate. I got to the car in the nick of time.
I was a bit deflated and distressed. There may have been a few tears.
I turned to Chris and said ‘I want to go home’, I wanted to go and lick my mortally wounded feelings.
Chris then said. Of course we can go home. Or, now you have a clean bag on, we can go back and finish buying the shoes?
Suffice to say, those Choo’s are in my dressing room as I type.
I am not immune from the embarrassment about leaks, but I’ll be damned if I let them hold me back. :)
Trying Differnt bags can be very very helpful.
A convex bag is very handy to have, for jeans.
And just look at those colours from Salts…
Blouse from The White Company, Tabard from Mint Velvet, Leggings from Next, Boots from Jimmy Choo, Convex bag from Dansac.
I had a great week, Chris unfortunately did not. My poor boy. His back went back into spasm again. He had been doing so well with the rehab physiotherapist he’s been working on it with. The physio did warn him there would be set backs along the way. He has had back issues going on for many many years, lots of disc errors (see what I did there? ;) )
Anyway, by Friday he was retching with the pain. It was most unfortunate. He is pretty incredible how he gets on with life, in the pain he’s in.
I thought it would be a great idea if I ordered him/us the fruits de mer platter I bought from The Cornish Fishmonger (find them online, their quality is amazing and they are dedicated to sustainability. If you like fish then it’s probably not a good idea to watch that new documentary that’s come out, I stopped going to zoos because of Tiger King, I’m not giving up fish too).
So Friday I waited in for their parcel to arrive, only it didn’t. I emailed them to ask if the courier would be here soon, only for the response to come in at the exact moment I was checking my order confirmation…I’d ordered it for the 16th April! F#%+#$%#+^%#++’#%~>=$€%#+=%#>€$%#=#%#%!!!!!!!!!
I sat there and thought I would and could cry! I had so wanted to cheer Chris up.
Disappointed but not despondent I searched my local area for seafood, I found a place, called The little seafood bar in Hatfield Heath, about 25 minutes from our house.
So Saturday as part of Chris’s having to keep mobile anyway (long gone are the days where people had to take to their beds with back issues, now it’s keep moving, keep mobile, keep going), we headed off to the fish place.
Dress from Dorothy Perkins, Shoes from Louis Vuitton
We arrived in the village, we’d not been to it before, and saw a heart sinkingly long queue, for some reason both of us assumed it was the queue for the seafood shop. So we went round the block and went back to park near the said long queue.
It was only as we did a slow drive by, that we both noticed that all the ‘customers’ were well over 70 or 80. And that they were being corralled by people in high vis jackets…it was at this point we both realised we were just about to join the queue at a vaccine centre and we hadn’t in fact found the shellfish shop at all! Hahahahaha hahahah “I’ll have a pint of prawns, 4 oysters and a Phizer jab please!!?” Hahahahaha
Anyway, across the village green is where you’ll find a lovely shellfish shop. There was no queue here at all. They sell all sorts of things as it turns out, even hot food. As it was lunch time, it seemed rude not to partake.
So we sat on a picnic bench in the carpark and had seafood. I had white bait and chips and Chris had squid and chips.
He takes me to all the best places! Hahahahaha
Actually, all joking aside. It was delicious, and once we finished that we went back in for shellfish to take home for supper.
It wasn’t a bad day out at all. Chris didn’t have a great day, but he enjoyed some lovely food at least. Plus we’ve got a big fruits de mer arriving for this Saturday. :) So that’s something to look forward to.
Sunday Chris woke up, feeling slightly improved, from the pain vomiting mess he was for the few days before.
He said, do you fancy going for a walk? For some reason I thought he meant at the seaside.
But he said “Good god no, I was thinking more of getting picnic food from Fortnum and Mason and going to St. James’s Park to eat it…”
errrr, this was an infinitely better idea than mine!
So that’s just what we did. I text our friends that live in London. And they said they could meet us there, so we did that too!
Dress from Dorothy Perkins, Coat from Aubin & Wills, Tights from Tesco, Boots From Jimmy Choo
Look at all that yummy food, I wanted it all, and to be honest we pretty much did.
Table scaping of my dreams in Fortnums
No coat, no problem…
We had everything we needed for a perfect picnic. F&M was surprisingly well stocked on the deli counter for a Sunday. So we had such a great selection to choose from.
Their lobster roll was easily as good as those I’ve had in Boston and Santa Monica. Took me right back to those gorgeous places. Funny how food can do that to you.
We set up our spot in the park, and I sent our location pin to James and Tanya. A little while later Tanya sent her location to me. Well, Chris and I were sitting staring at her location pin on the screen, speeding towards us, like you see in movies when the missile is coming in at warp speed. We thought the app was broken, as even running a human wouldn’t move that fast. It wasn’t until we looked up out into the park that we saw two maniacs on electric scooters coming in at high speed! Yes, they were our two maniacs! It was really very funny. But maybe it was one of those, you had to be there moments.
And I’m so glad we were. We haven’t seen them since September. It’s a long time. We used to dine weekly at ours, for years and years. I miss those days of people in the house. What an odd concept that is right now.
People? In my sterilised bubble? No thank you! Hahahahaha
We had an amazing feast. Totally recommend getting picnic food from F&M.
Take a blanket and a cold bag with you and you are good to go.
The sun was perfectly warm enough to be sitting on the ground in the middle of London…well it was till it started snowing. :o
Yep, it snowed, on a perfectly warm sunny day. The weather is mimicking life on Earth as we know it. Confusing and unpredictable.
We popped back to Fortnums to pick up some honey for my bestie and a wee, yes, thankfully the toilets in there are open.
The shops and pubs with beer gardens (outside drinking only) are now open in the UK. I’m in no rush to go to a pub, as a non drinker, it’s not my go to place.
And I’m not in much of a rush to go to shops either. I did go in F&M at the weekend, and I went in Homesense and a toy shop yesterday. But they were virtually empty.
I decided to tag along to Chris’s drive into Chelmsford for his physio appointment, to go and see if I felt comfortable in the shops - and as it was only me and 4 other shoppers, I did.
I was the only shopper in the toy shop, so that was fine too.
I’m not desperate to get back into other shops. I’m not terribly keen on standing near other people. But that’s my personal choice. I will wait until my 21 days post jab are up to venture out a bit more, and once I’m double jabbed I’ll go out again fully. Well I better do seeing as I’ve booked 3 foreign holidays already. :)
I am looking forward to going back into work though, I work remotely for Neptune in Colchester, so I haven’t been in there since before Christmas. Our new season came out in March and I’m desperate to see it. I can’t wait to go into the store. Soon, very very soon.
xx
Just a quick PS.
We loved our picnic, but we did all discover that we are now far too old to sit on the floor, limbs just don’t bend like they used to.
I solved that little problem…
Please forgive my gardening attire. You don’t actually think I walk round all dolled up day in day out do you? hahahahaha