Hello again, it’s now day 5400099 of lockdown…actually, the truth is I have no idea how long it’s been, and apart from the 2 grotty days I had last week it’s been pretty darn ok.
What’s not to love, baking, sunbathing, reading. It’s literally like being on holiday, although, saying that I do very little cake making when I go on holiday usually.
I do love staying home, it means I’m keeping myself and Chris safe, but we’re also keeping people safe from us.
That feels good. Staying home, not infecting or affecting anyone, that feels very good.
I cannot get my head round people wanting to get back to “normal”? I’m sorry to break it to them, but there is no normal anymore.
There will be again one day, but now is not the time. For now we adapt and adjust to a new normal.
I really do think that cancer and my colostomy have prepared me for events just like this, I also think drinking plenty of water so you can think straight helps, but I definitely think my life journey to this point has taught me to roll with the punches life throws my way.
Did I think cancer would have any positive, lasting effects on me? I couldn’t think it back in the day, but truly it has helped shape how I feel and react to things.
When I was diagnosed with cancer, before my surgery I didn’t think anything positive would come of it. All I saw was darkness. I was so traumatised.
From those dark days have come the best life I ever imagined possible. For many and various reasons. Mainly I have to credit Chris for being my rock, never has anyone given me so much assurance and courage.
Then there is the coming and going of people, sounds weird but the people who are real and true friends come into sharp focus, and the deadwood drifts away.
Whether you expected it or not people surprise you, in both good and bad ways.
The people that were there for us through the rough times are still there for us in the fab times, and the people who shocked us by walking away we realise aren’t missed and it’s a blessing that they are gone.
I think this pandemic will have that sort of cathartic effect on lots of people, all over the world.
Big problems bring clarity, and that in itself can be a blessing.
Remembering to keep in touch with the people that mean the most to you is important. If we all do that then the world will be a better place.
I also think cancer made me kinder to me. I look at myself with kindness and appreciation. Yes! Even now with all my lockdown pounds on I still look in the mirror, naked and think you look good girl!!
It’s the only body I’ve got so I might as well love it!
I have been mulling over some thoughts. I saw a post that said “Let your natural hair colour come through with pride, it was designed to match your skin tone!”
That really resonated with me! I’ve been dying my hair ~ sometimes weird and wonderful colours since I was 17. I went through the purple, orange and black phases of my deep self loathing, depressed teenage years, and then moving on to the happy brunette or the glamorous blonde…then to the less glamorous but still blonde me.
But then seeing that post, and seeing my real hair colour coming through has given me food for thought.
I’m pretty convinced that I won’t be dashing to the hairdresser any time soon, Ok, I hear ya! I talk a good game whilst it’s a moot point and they’re all closed anyway, but I really think I might just go back to basics.
Do I need yellow hair? Do I need bright pink nails? (Sorry Leonie, you will have to put up with my freakishly hideous, naked toe nails). Do I need my eyebrows waxed off every 4 weeks (actually in fairness I probably do still need that one, I’m a very hairy lady, part woman, part Wookiee).
It’s not that I’m letting myself go, but I am letting myself just be, I’m really happy. (So far).
I think the reason I had a good week last week was the sun was shining, lovely, who doesn’t love that?
…And I was busy.
I had a Zoom meeting for the charity I volunteer for, it was so good to catch up with everyone, and so far so good and we’re all well.
I had the meeting from my kitchen. I was struggling for a good position, and I really wasn’t loving the amount of chins (little lockdown additions) while looking down into the camera.
Problem solved with my book collection! Hahahahaha
Little tip from me, if you have added on the pounds and you don’t want to see your jowelly neck staring back at you, then raise that laptop up! Raise it up real good! :) You are very welcome!! Hahahahaha
It actually worked a treat. The meeting was productive and generally great.
I dressed for the occasion (like that was ever going to be in doubt??), I went for it, I washed my hair, put my make up and jewellery on and even to the point of wearing shoes…shoes?!? It was only my head in shot! Hahahahaha
Top from Jack Wills, Leggings from Next, Shoes from Gucci.
It felt really nice to get dressed and have a purpose for the day. I have more meetings this week too so that should keep me going for a while.
The weather has been glorious. I’m very lucky that I have a large garden that was in so much need of care and attention. We’ve filled two 6 yard skips (not sure how much that equates to? Well the technical term is a s**t ton of crap! Hahahahaha).
We have accidental hoarding disorder, or more accurately put we are lazy and hedonistic.
Shall we hire a skip and fill a skip? or should we head to Boodles followed by dinner at Chutney Mary?
Well for too many years it’s been the latter, and where did that get us? Well it got us to the point of a garden that looked like Steptoe’s yard!! Hahahahaha, but no more! The garden looks beautiful and loved.
Dress from French Connection, Shoes from Tory Burch.
I got myself dolled up for the garden on Saturday, and why not indeed?
I put on my trusty cycling shorts under this dress as it has a tendency to blow up and as I am a wearer of thong underwear I think it’s only right and just that I preempt any unfortunate mishaps…like Chris would be so offended hahahahaha, and he’s the only one here, but I do find Leonie’s suggestion of the shorts a good one.
It just makes sense, plus I feel so much more secure.
We had a lovely lunch in the garden, yes, finally, after all that work clearing it we get to sit and enjoy it.
Kathy Burke, the comedian made me laugh the other day on Twitter, she said she could hear her neighbours having lunch in the garden and Tweeted “oh how very French”.
It really tickled me, as if us Brits can’t naturally do Al Fresco dining. In honour of their lunch I went a bit continental too! :)
Sunshine, Freshly baked baguettes and Boursin! I haven’t had the stuff in years but Sam mentioned it the other day and it got me yearning for the summer days in France of my childhood.
Heaven, absolute heaven, it really is the little things that make you happy when the chips are down. Part bake rolls, care of Kaitlyn and Ben’s Aldi shopping trip and a bit of soft garlicky cheese care of Sam’s suggestion.
We had such a lovely day. The afternoon was lovely and warm (or hot by British standards), we spent it in the hot tub and reading and me finally baking the lockdown holy grail…I finally got my pineapple upside down cake! (Again care of Kaitlyn and Ben’s Aldi shopping trip).
My man, my dog and my book. This is happiness.
Yes, of course I miss my boys and their girls and baby Zak. Oh my God, I ache to see them, but I’m focusing on what I have right now.
This cake, served with custard!! Heaven!
Saturday night was great fun, Ben and Kaitlyn has made a quiz. Chris and I and Ben’s friends joined in on Zoom, I imagine we are not alone in a weekend Zoom quiz or family gathering. It was a very well put together quiz. I was very impressed by their photoshop skills. Chris and I didn’t win, but let’s face it, it was made by a Gen Z-er it wasn’t for us oldies! :)
Sunday was interesting. I had managed to finally get an Ocado delivery slot, they are quite rightly prioritising vulnerable people, but that does mean non vulnerable people, who don’t want to go out to shops are left with little option than to stressfully try and try and try and try (I have subsequently found out that no other supermarket is as hard to shop at as Ocado, so I will be swapping over to Asda for my next big shop in a few weeks, Ocado is way too stomach churning to secure a place).
I managed to secure a delivery slot, but it was for between 6-7am on Sunday! :o
Poor Chris, he pulled the short straw as I sleep in ear plugs and didn’t hear the driver knock (I’m not just a pretty face, and I’m not even that! Hahahahaha).
Well the lovely Ocado man brought us lots of goodies. So seeing as I didn’t get up to take it all in I did make a lovely breakfast to enjoy in the morning sun.
Pyjamas from Victoria Secrets, Dressing Gown from The White Company, Slippers from Ugg, Tea-set from Neptune Colchester. ;)
The rest of Sunday was spent pottering in the garden, planting out the rest of the veg, fixing fences (Chris) painting arbor chairs (me).
I had this bright idea, I thought the garden seat needed a spruce up, such big ideas, but little application and ability.
I painted half of it, got fed up with the project at hand, and abandoned it half way through, on top of that I then started another garden paint project mid way through not finishing the original one!..And yes, you guessed it, I only did half of that one too! Hahahahaha I think I may well be the definition of a ‘flake’! Hahahahaha
In my defence I painted what is seen as you walk towards it so in reality, the only bit that counts! Hahahahaha
Just do me a favour, if you ever come round, and let’s face it, it ain’t going to be any time this year, just look at it from the near side and front, and same goes for the mock beehive. ;)
Just stay the other side.
It’s a shame the weather has turned nasty and I can’t finish it off. Hahahahaha
I really hope that you and your family are keeping well. I really hope that lasts. xx