I guess to some, wearing a belt isn’t an exciting or noteworthy moment.
But to me it was a momentous occasion. I haven’t worn a belt since before my AP resection (permanent colostomy) nearly 10 years ago.
I did own some corkers too, I had this beautiful, very sparkly one Chris bought me in Harrods, ironically only a few months before diagnosis. I really didn’t get my monies worth out of that one. I sold most of them after my op, there was no point in keeping things I couldn’t use. New me, a new start, a new wardrobe to boot!
The reason that belts were defunct after my op? Well, what do you wear belts on? My answer to that question would have been only jeans.
What was the one thing I couldn’t go back to after my op? Yep, you guessed it, normal jeans.
I’ll come back to my relationship with jeans later, for now I’m in belt bliss.
I was going through my wardrobe a few weeks back and that’s when I discovered I own too much stuff, way too many clothes and shoes and bags.
Oh the money I have wasted ~ oi yoi yoi.
Anyway, at the end of the rack is an accessories hanger and hanging on that hanger is a vast amount of scarves (never worn them) and some belts, left over from the old days.
Some are solid in structure, leather ones, with literally no give in them. Not really any good to me.
I did think I might wear one over a blazer and skirt at some stage, but if you’ve ever noticed anything about my style it’s that I’m not a layerer. It’s totally and utterly beyond me.
I’m not really an accessorizer either. I put a cute scarf on that I bought in CD last weekend, yes I felt it looked different to what I usually wear, but I thought it looked cute, well I was hoping it did, so I thought I’d give it a go. Anyway, I foolishly asked someone if I looked a bit of a d***head in it and they said...yes.
So that was that, the scarf is back in the dressing room and I was left bare necked.
Top from Ralph Lauren, Skirt from Next, Belt from Gucci, Boots from Michael Kors
(In fairness I actually bought the scarf to be worn by a handbag, yes, I’m aware I’m slightly bonkers, yes, a bag scarf might seem a tad extravagant. But it’s a beautiful way of bringing colour to a plain black bag. Rather than needing a bag of every colour, just change the scarf. There was a method to my madness).
Bag and scarf from Christian Dior…she wears it better than I did. ;)
For example, I’m going out in a few weeks and I am planning to wear a dress with brown and cream tones, but I want to wear the Choos Chris bought me for Christmas, which are black. The scarf is creams, browns and black so it will pair beautifully with the outfit, or at least that’s my hope.
Right back to belts again as I have digressed.
I haven’t worn a belt in coming up to 10 years this July.
But while I was clearing the wardrobe out I found this belt, it’s elasticated and non restraining or containing. It struck me that, although I can’t wear it with jeans (most of the jeans l‘ve worn post op haven’t actually had belt loops), I could perhaps wear it with something other than jeans...lightbulb moment indeed!
So I wandered round my wardrobe room in search of something that wasn’t jeans, but would look nice belted.
And then it came to me! A skirt!! Why the hell not!
I tried this outfit on all together and loved it. Not ground breaking news I’ll admit, I’m sure the Nobel people aren’t going to be knocking on my door any time soon offering to bestow the prize of belts on me but for me it felt great, and a bit nostalgic.
Even though the belt itself is at least 11 but probably 15 years old I felt refreshed and renewed!
I guess in life it’s the little things that make us happy.
I wore my outfit to a meeting in London I had at Bowel & Cancer research, it was a development meeting for a company, all very hush hush and top secret. But utterly fascinating.
(If you’d like to be part of research and development for anything bowel related, do get in touch with Lesley Booth at Bowel & Cancer Research, your life experience might be exactly the sort of knowledge scientists and developers are in need of).
Then once my meeting was over, I met Chris and we went shopping and then for a date night, heaven, absolute heaven.
My husband is my best friend, I know, vomit inducing isn’t it. But there is no one, no one on this planet that has my back like this man, and I his.
Whilst waiting for our table to be ready we did a little itty bitty bit of shopping, for Mr. Doré more than me, which is odd, seems to go against everything I stand for too. Hahahahaha And then we went to Fortnum’s as it was on the way to the restaurant.
I love to look at all the pretty tins, if you’ve been you’ll know what I mean. It’s a feast for the eyes, it really is.
Anyway, downstairs they have fresh produce and the most amazing stuffed dates I’ve ever had in my life.
I bought two bags; 1 pistachio, 1 walnut, oh my God they are so good, they cost me a months wages too but totally worth it!
Don’t freak out, I only work an hour a week, a months wages isn’t actually that much, sounded dramatic though didn’t it. Hahahahaha.
So I can say hand on heart Chris takes me out for the best dates! ;)
After our purchases in Fortnum and Mason (if you’re ever in London it’s a must, so pretty and quaint, not often I get to say that about what is essentially a supermarket) we headed over to Chutney Mary, yes, I know we were only there last week but if I lived in London I’d be there daily.
A fantastic meal ensued, as always. I’m beginning to think that this blog is turning into a trip advisor post. Hahahahaha.
By Saturday I needed super soft comfy trousers. I think the need to be aware of what your body can cope with is essential to a happy stoma life. I don’t always listen, and therefore I don’t always get it right.
But I am learning, every day’s a school day. For example too many stuffed dates in one day is not a good idea. Also elasticated belts are perfect for osomites. Not earth shattering discoveries I’ll grant you. Hahahahaha
With my D mix and loose clothing I have been gut ache free for a while, I’ve had a couple of blips with constipation but other than that I’ve been fine.
(* Someone with an ileostomy was fascinated by the fact that I said I get constipation the other day; it’s funny I often realise I’m a fair to middling expert level on my stoma, but completely ignorant of others. For example I was chatting on Twitter to a lady that has a permanent colostomy but she still has a rectum and anus, an experience that I didn’t know existed. I just assumed that like mine, they would be surplus to requirements and be removed. Every stoma is different, they are all placed in different places on the abdomen, depending on where the problem area is, it makes them all unique...unique and fabulous of course!!
I also often forget, that other people aren’t as enamoured with their stomas as I am.
I love mine, you know I do. I could easily resent it, it is the living embodiment of my GP’s failures to diagnose me in good time...actually they didn’t diagnose me at all, even though the signs and symptoms were screaming at them from day one.
I could easily be eaten alive with anger about the 10 years wasted time and of misdiagnosis. So I’m so grateful that that’s not what happened to me and that’s not how I feel.
It was nothing I did, I didn’t tell myself I was ok with this, I just am. So I can’t really take any credit for something that just happened naturally, and I can’t tell you how to get through it.
I went under anaesthetic crying my eyes out that I was going to be a gruesome, stinky monster and I woke up from said anaesthetic (eventually - I wasn’t very well in the op, but again all that losing blood drama was conveniently while I was under and no PTSD has ever affected me, I mean how lucky can one girl get?) totally happy, and if not more than a little smitten with my little red life saving blob.
I am an expert solely on my colostomy. I am naturally happy with having one. I wish above all else I could pass on my positivity about it to others. It must be so painful to be emotionally trapped by a dislike of it.
I guess the only way forward for me is to believe it could be worse. And that a stoma, chemo and radio worked for me. I am incredibly lucky.
I’ve digressed again, if you know me in the flesh then you won’t be surprised by these tangents. ;)
Sunday we met Ben and Kaitlyn for breakfast/brunch.
I wanted to dress in jeans, I know people moan about jeans (they’re not cosy or comfy admittedly, but they are a staple). Take jeans out of the equation and see how easy it is.
So I got dressed in some black trousers and a casual but nice top, Ben said you look very formal in your trousers. I know what he means, but I’m left with few options once jeans are a no go area;
It’s tracksuit bottoms - not suitable for outside the house day wear for a woman of my age, unless I was heading to a track - never going to happen.
Or leggings - only suitable with a long enough top to cover one’s backside (I have a lot of backside to cover remember).
Top from The White Conpany, Trousers from Michael Kors, Shoes from Pretty Ballerina’s
Looking amazing during storm Ciara. Hahahahaha
The reason I’ve had to give up on jeans is because I’ve had a couple of leaks (pancaking) and some considerable discomfort with poo backing up inside, not able to pass through the restrictions of denim, even though it’s stretchy.
I am giving them one last go, I have broken my clothes buying ban and bought 3 pairs of Joni jeans from Topshop. But this time in a size 18 Uk, size 22 in US.
Now I don’t think I’m blowing my own trumpet here but I am not a size 18! I know I’m bigger than I used to be, let’s face it, who isn’t.
But I’m not a size 18 I know.
But regardless of what the label says I need to see if going a few sizes up will enable me to wear jeans again.
Jeans aren’t the be all and end all, and they’re certainly not cosy or particularly comfy, they are restrictive, but take them away from your daily wardrobe and where are you?
So here we go jeans, one last chance...
****************************************
On a very happy side note I’d like to wish my son and his fiancée huge congratulations on their engagement!!
Very exciting Milly & Sam!
They are perfect together and the perfect little family.
I wish them and baby Zak all the happiness in the world. xxx
*****************************************
*Pancaking is when a vacuum occurs in the stoma bag and the bag sticks together, preventing the contents from dropping to the bottom. Faeces remain at the top of the bag which can potentially block the filter, and the bag can also be forced off the body. This can happen with an ileostomy or colostomy (from a google search).
******************************************
And finally for this week;
For 15% off D Mix, the seed mix I use 2-3 times a day for better digestion and over all better well being, use code; (I don’t get anything from you buying it, I get to use the 15% off code too and I’m very happy with that).
GLADRAGS15
at