My husband put a post on his LinkedIn about my blog, I’m stunned it’s had such an overwhelmingly positive impact.
So far it’s been viewed over eight and a half thousand times and has had many likes and some very kind comments.
If you’re reading this because of Chris’s original post or from Ben’s re-share then welcome. Thank you for coming. x
I’ve been really blown away by the kindness of strangers. It’s not about validation, although I can’t deny that that bit isn’t lovely. But mostly I want to just get the message out there ~ life is good.
The reason for my blog is fairly multifaceted;
I want to raise awareness of cancer in everyone, young, old and in between.
I want to prove that there is a good life after cancer and surgery.
And I want to show you can dress well with a bag of poo attached.
I also want people to feel body positivity about their undressed body too. Having my bag only proves to me how awesome my body was to heal from all it went through. That’s powerful stuff.
I really am proud of my body for repairing and my mind for recovering.
Bowel issues aren’t just some far off mystic fantasy, they are real and they are ever present. The problem is we’re so uptight and in a lot of cases just plain silly about poo and bums that it doesn’t get the attention, respect and awareness it rightly deserves.
Just think how many more lives could be saved if we weren’t all too embarrassed to say what’s happening down there.
In fairness, my late diagnosis wasn’t about lack of reporting the problem. I was back and forth to my GP a lot. My problem was that I didn’t fall into the right criteria for cancer to be picked up earlier (because we all know cancer can only happen in the elderly!!!?? Give me strength!!).
I appreciate my blogs don’t have much to offer the fellas in so much as dressing well after stoma surgery.
But I hope my message of positivity about getting on with life after cancer has changed your body is a unisex one.
I was asked last week if I always dress ‘well’, and the simple answer is no, the photos I post on here or on my social media are from the days that I get dolled up and go out.
That’s not to say I’m faking it and it’s all smoke and mirrors, but a bit of that certainly helps.
I do need to be comfortable at home, in my own private space.
But when I get dressed to go out and about yes, I like to make the effort.
The wonderful, late ‘You, me and the big C’ podcast presenter Rachel Bland used to refer to it as “the reverse Dalai Llama”.
Put on your good clothes and make up, doll yourself up to trick the inside into matching the outside.
On one of my many visits to my oncologist all those years ago he asked me if I was actually taking my chemotherapy drugs, (I had tablet form, administered at home) Why did he ask?
Well I looked perfectly well, glowing in fact and I bounded into his room all happy and perky.
That was the power of make up and a determination not to be seen as sick. The more ill I became with treatment the more I piled on the slap.
I don’t need the make up quite as thickly applied now of course because I’m well, although I am almost a decade older so maybe I should start upping it again. Hahahahaha
But I do still apply the reverse Dalai Lama to dressing.
Let’s run through a quick scenario;
You don’t have a stoma, you know nothing about stomas, like a lot of people you are ill informed about stomas in general. You’re in a queue at the post office or any queue (you choose), all of a sudden there’s a shocking smell.
Who are you going to suspect is making this smell out of all the possibilities?
…the lady dolled up to the nines? Unlikely!
See! I dress well as a defence mechanism in the unlikely event of a bag leak or failure.
They really don’t happen very often at all but when they do I want to be prepared.
Exit stage left well dressed lady…
;)
And that’s why I personally choose to dress up for outside of the house fun and capers, for me it’s like a form of protection, of self preservation.
When I was in Bicester Village the other day I found some amazing shirts in Ralph Lauren. I struggle getting shirts that fit me, my boobs, though lovely (all my own work of high consumption of cake thank you very much) and indeed I’m very attached to them, can cause issues with dressing.
I have what has been described as a curvy figure, I think we can all read between the lines here! Hahahahaha…fat, it means fat.
It means blouses and shirts can gape and pull across the bust, and look awful.
But in Ralph Lauren they had these absolute beauties. They look like shirts but they are made of soft stretchy fabric. So if like me you struggle to get something that works for you then these are the shirts for you.
Shirt RL, Jeans Joni from Topshop, Boots from Russell and Bromley
Off I went out for the day cosy and smart…
I returned from lunch feeling pained and colicky.
My stoma doesn’t much enjoy eating in tight jeans, I know this, and yet I decided to wear them.
As soon as I got home I was out of my jeans and in my slobby, slothing clothes ASAP.
Ahhhhh, the relief and release.
Unfortunately I’ve been having more and more colicky episodes, there’s a lot going on and it just affects everything, including output and wind, more proof, if it were needed that our bowels and brains are far more connected than we give them credit for.
Knowing that we had planned a whole day out on Saturday thats sole purpose was eating I needed something to wear that didn’t restrict output flow.
We were off to Taste of London, Winter. It’s a food fair for trialling many foods from many different restaurants.
Skinny jeans were an absolute no no!
I had bowel ache even before I left my home.
I had seen a segment on This Morning (a magazine day time TV show) on Friday morning about pleated skirts.
I usually steer clear of them but they had women of all shapes and sizes wearing them on there and they looked great. So I popped to Next to have a look and found this skirt.
It is pleated but it’s very soft fabric, it felt good on and more importantly my belly was comfortable, with room to expand should it need it…
…it did, it was a food fair, what did you expect? Hahahahaha it’s not a spectator’s sport.
Jumper from Tory Burch, Skirt from Next, Boots from Michael Kors.
The snow machine outside Taste of London - Winter edition was a great touch.
Although the security guards had been instructed there was simply no re-admission, even though the machine was about 3 foot from the doors, we weren’t allowed to go out and take photos with it, we had to settle for our group photos indoors instead.
Food and friends, does life get any better than that?
We had a wonderful time. There were a few stalls selling wares, I stocked up on mini meringues and some magic seed mix that’s meant to aid digestion. You are meant to masticate it 60 times, none of us were getting anywhere near that number.
probably one of the reasons we have such terrible digestive issues in this county, I know I don’t chew my food properly.
I’m very much a chomp, chomp swallow type of gal, terrible for ones digestion but I am a greedy pig so what can you do.
The seed mix is really very pleasant. There’s flax seed, tumeric, aniseed, fennel etc in it. You chew it to oblivion (supposedly), half a teaspoon after every meal.
I’m not sure it does anything but I like the flavours. And if nothing else it reminds you food isn’t meant to be swallowed whole, which can only help in the long run.
Then after some great feasting we headed into central London to meet our youngest and his girlfriend Kaitlyn to see the Christmas lights and a bit of shopping.
I popped into the big Topshop just off Piccadilly Circus and found these leggings.
I bought them in black and the burgundy. I’m hopeful that they will work for me (ie, leak free) they are super soft, very stretchy and lined with a very cosy fleece fabric.
I’m off on a ski holiday soon, I don’t ski, so I need warm clothes to trot about the resort in. Ski wear is a bit over kill when you don’t ski.
I spend my time in the spa having treatments, reading and generally avoiding injuries but enjoying watching the snow, while the others head up the mountain.
I will be able to report on the success of these leggings once I get back, but I am hopeful. As well as being very soft they also have a side zip, should the need arise for more poo room.
x
If anyone fancies giving it a try…like I said I’ve no idea if it’s any good for helping with digestion.
I do like the flavour though, and the ingredients are hi fibre so for that alone it can’t be bad.