Morning all,
I’ve got a few friends going through cancer treatment right now. I just want to say I’m thinking of you. I hope for a very successful outcome for you. xx
It was hard enough when Sam and I went through treatment. I can’t imagine what it’s like during a pandemic.
I’m so sorry you are having to go through all of this crap, at the worst time in 100 years. I’m so so sorry.
It’s a very different experience to the ones Sam and I had. The only thing that remains the same is my belief that you should feel free to feel however you feel. If you feel positive, that’s fantastic. If you don’t, don’t beat yourself up for what you are feeling.
You are allowed to feel anything and any way. There is no justification for anyone to tell you to stay positive.
“Toxic positivity” is the scourge of the newly diagnosed, it happens when the people round you want you to be “positive”. Which I have a feeling is more for their benefit than anyone’s.
But it’s terribly debilitating for the person diagnosed, on top of everything else, you don’t want to feel like you are letting people down by not being positive.
Let’s face it, if positivity cured cancer no one that I know would have ever got sick to start with.
It’s great if you do naturally feel positive and focused and determined. That’s wonderful. I applaud you. And admire you.
But I’ve got to be honest. I didn’t always feel that way through Sam or my treatment.
Mostly I just felt numb and traumatised.
What I did do though, was to do things that made me joyful and happy. That’s slightly different to positivity.
I was determined, as I was before, and certainly very much so after that chapter closed, to squeeze the pips out of every day! To make the most of every day. To live every day and be grateful for every extra day.
I set a goal to do one thing a day that brought me joy. It felt like I was winning.
It could be as simple as a walk round the garden or park sniffing random flowers along the way, to ordering a hamper of goodies that made me happy.
Chris used to drive me to the beach after radiotherapy sometimes. I swear to god it helped make me feel happy inside, even if just for a moment.
Cancer is a scary place. I fought back with doing something joyful, I found it helped calm the panic in me, you don’t have to of course, but I found it made the journey through a little more pleasant.
You have to feel free to do and feel however you like.
As I always say, you do you.
If you’ve just started treatment I wish you well. xx
When Sam went through treatment he was on a Teenage Cancer Trust ward. It was an amazing place to be (in the circumstances). Somewhat daunting to start with because you are faced with people going through treatment, and I felt this weird desire to grab my boy and run away.
But once we settled into the routine it became our new world.
They were so well equipped to deal with, not only the patient, but the parents too, and not just with the medication, it had a full holistic approach.
They had complementary therapists available for us all as well. I definitely recommend Reiki and Reflexolgy (check with your oncologist first) to anyone who is going through treatment or a family member of someone going through treatment. It won’t cure anything but it certainly makes the whole experience a little more peaceful in the mind.
Sam’s oncologist explained that going through chemo and radiotherapy meant Sam’s body was being bombarded with poisons and toxins and one of the best ways to counteract that was to consume as much fat and calories as was humanly possible, at any time Sam felt up to eating.
Basically to make hay while the sun shines. Get as much in when he felt well enough to see him through the days he couldn’t face a thing.
His oncologist said feed him anything he wants, whenever he wants! I said “yes, but not McDonald’s obviously?!”
He said no food is bad, there are no “foods off limits or naughty foods”. He made it very clear that now was not the time to go macrobiotic or start a “cancer fighting diet” fad.
Just get the fat and calories in whenever you can.
But what sticks in my mind the most is the dietitian that Sam was assigned. He did have an obsession with us needing to “fortify” everything that went in Sam’s mouth.
It made me queasy at the time, and still does a bit to think of it now.
BUT that knowledge came in very handy when six months after Sam was diagnosed with cancer I was then diagnosed with cancer.
There was no extra support, no reiki or reflexolgy or dieticians. It was just me, a surgeon to do the cutting bit, and an oncologist to do the chemicals bit.
So Sam having the misfortune to get diagnosed with cancer just before me actually gave me a head start for my treatment. I knew to build myself up. I knew to get complementary therapies booked. And I knew to make the most of every darn minute.
There are no foods to consume to avoid cancer, you could eat a barrel load of turmeric or ton of peach kernels (yes, peach kernels was offered up to me by a well meaning soul to rid Sam of cancer) to no avail. There are no foods avoid in order to avoid cancer either. Giving up sugar isn’t going to help (the body turns most things into sugar, so that’s just a nonsense thing to say). I mean I wouldn’t sit there chomping on plutonium or polonium, but actual food won’t harm you…as long as you consume them in moderation.
(note to self, learn moderation).
*To get through treatment you need to bolster yourself. (Once you’ve been given the all clear is when you can make good, healthy eating and lifestyle choices).
*Exercise and staying active is very important throughout treatment. But obviously only on the days you can manage it. Don’t feel bad about not doing it all the time. Just do what you can, when you can.
*Stock up on anything ginger, to help with nausea. I had the full range, ginger beer, ginger tea, ginger nut biscuits and ginger bread men. Ginger ginger ginger. Couldn’t face the stuff for about 5 years after treatment, but I like it again now.
Plus…
*Gelclair helps massively with the ulcers, but I have known the NHS reluctant to give this out. Do push for it if you are having trouble with bad ulcers. It was the only thing that helped Sam at one point.
End of sermon. xx
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I had a pretty hectic week. Life is getting back to full capacity. Although that said, things are still a bit shite and unpredictable. We booked to go to Spain, we were meant to be going in 18 days time. But we’ve cancelled it because everything to do with foreign travel just seems like a bit too precarious and way too much effort.
We’ll go next year instead. :)
I did a bit of table scaping for a family dinner to celebrate Ben and Kaitlyn’s return from covid isolation.
I had been to the local, Wednesday car boot sale in the morning. I only bought one thing but I’m so happy with it!
What is it you may well ask…
Well haven’t you got one!?! It’s an After Eights (after dinner chocolate mints) holder!!
It cracked me up when I saw it. They were so bouji when they came out. You felt right posh and fancy to have After Eights in the house at all, but a silver plated box holder!?! Come on! That is super fancy. Hahahahaha
The man selling it was surprised I knew what it was. And even more surprised that I wanted to buy it.
Unfortunately for me, they no longer make the box size to fit it. So I had to cut down the box I bought. But it still looks good on the table. :)
Then on Thursday I was invited by my lovely husband to come and have lunch at the fancy new office he works at.
Top from Karl Largerfeld, Jeans from Topshop, Shoes from Chanel
The Cafe there is fantastic!! We both had the Katsu curry, which was delicious. I was a bit disappointed it wasn’t 14 cheesecake day but you know what, I was happy just to be there at all. :)
Then on Saturday we did a bit of pottering round the garden, not something I enjoy, but the Virginia creeper was getting closer and closer to the back door, like a sinister alien life form. Gardening isn’t for me now there’s a world to go play in. Quite happily tarmac the lot. Hahahahaha.
Saturday night we headed to Kaitlyn’s parents house. They were belatedly celebrating two 50th birthdays, one 21st birthday (Kaitlyn) and an 18th birthday, having missed them all during the year that didn’t exist last year.
Top from Whistles, Trousers from Quiz, Shoes from Manolo Blahnik
We had such a lovely evening celebrating with them. The flower wall was the best I’ve ever seen, the food was fantastic and has given me ideas for any upcoming festivities.
We couldn’t stay too long though as I had flared my hernia up and Chris had angered his back in the bloody garden. So that wasn’t so much fun.
I woke up really unnecessarily early on Sunday, although my sleep pattern has improved a bit since I started my new HRT regime, I still sometimes wake way too early. I have gone from peeing 4-7 times a night to a much more manageable 1-2 times. So that’s been a real tonic.
Anyway Chris woke up early too, he suggested as we were up and about that we go to the big car boot sale that I like.
Sadly I found no treasures, but I did chomp down on some fresh cooked donuts, so every cloud and all that. ;)
Dress from Sainsbury’s, Shoes from Tory Burch, Bag from Jimmy Choo
Having scoffed donuts and bought no table scaping treasures, we headed home, and realised it was only 8.45 am. What to do with the rest of the day!?
Well Chris said let’s take the new girl for an adventure! He said we should go to The Cotswolds! Hahahahaha hahahah
So I changed my shoes and off we went!
He didn’t drive us to the Cotswolds at all, he drove us to one of my favourite places, my temple…Bicester Village outlet shopping centre. Oh the joy!! :)
It was to say the least a diverse day of retail experiences. Starting off at the car boot sale and ending up getting new shoes in Dior. ;)
Dress as above, but Shoes from Louis Vuitton
Outlet shopping can be a bit hit and miss, but this visit was definitely a hit!
I actually managed to get some trainers in Dior that I have been on the look out for for years! And a rather delightful pair of boots in Gucci for winter…yes, I like to prep early. :)
My car drives like a dream. She literally is a dream come true. I am very lucky. And incredibly grateful to my very nice best friend for buying it for me. :)
I think she needs a road trip once the borders all open up again. A drive on an Autobahn is calling. :)
In the name of full disclosure and continuity, I have new hair….
Have a great week. Stay well, keep safe xx