As shallow as it may seem, looking good is high on my list of priorities. (Well, health anxiety is top of the list of fears, but of the priorities I can actually control dressing well is top of the list)
I stand by that. And I wholeheartedly believe in it.
Dress to impress, go big or go home, fortune favours the brave, etc etc…
I assumed before I had my op that I’d be saddled with wearing baggy tracksuit bottoms and baggy, shapeless tops.
I never dreamed I’d be wearing bikinis on the beach and wearing beautiful clothes. I thought, I genuinely thought I’d never leave the house again. I planned for it. I pictured it in my mind’s eye. I thought my life in the real world was over and that I’d be a shadow of my former self, living behind a screen and just staying in touch with friends via messaging services and apps.
I feel I have proved to myself and to others, without a shadow of a doubt, that actually having a stoma isn’t a reason to hide. It’s a reason to shine and show others they can too.
I don’t have to look the best. But I like to look my best and the two things are vastly different.
I accept I’m not going to look like Bella Hadid, I didn’t at 20, and unbagged, so obviously I don’t have that expectation at 48, overweight and sporting a bag of poo on my abdomen.
But I look the best I can and that’s enough for me
Not everyone is going to love or even like my dress sense, and that’s ok. You do you, and I’ll do me. But what is undeniable - I wear having a stoma well.
I wear it with pride. I wear it with joy and I wear it with peace.
I like it. I like it better than having a bum. I guess you could say “well that’s because you’ve got no choice”. And to a degree I’d probably agree with you.
But I just prefer that pooing is on my terms now. Technically anyway. Not the actual pooing itself, I have literally no control over when I go, or pass wind come to that.
But let’s say for arguments sake that me changing my bag is the same action as someone with a bum going to the toilet.
I love that I get to control that aspect. That part is 100% on my terms (well, 99.9% of the time anyway).
I change it when I want, where I want.
I didn’t get that with my bum as I had a tumour up there for far too long, and having that in there (unbeknownst to me of course) was the deciding factor.
So yes, for me a stoma is better than a bum.
And dressing well is extremely important to me. Shallow? Yes, but we’ve already established that. :)
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Chris and I have been treating ourselves to weekends away. In the absence of actual travel, and with a reluctance to sit and home fade away, we book trips away in the UK now that we can.
We look all over the country on Booking.com and every single time end up back in London.
This is the actual conversation, time and time again; “shall we go to the Cotswolds?”. “Yeah, smashing, lovely!”. “This hotel in London’s a good price for that weekend though”. “BOOK IT, what were we going to do in the Cotswolds, we hate walking & yomping!”.
And so London it is then!!
We’re going to see our friend that moved to Yorkshire soon, she mentioned some walking routes that she thought we’d ‘like’. She even said the dreaded word - hills!! Hills?! We’re from Essex we don’t do hills!! Hahahahaha.
We’re more than happy to see the world from the bottom rather than the top. :)
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Anyway, last weekend we looked to go to the Cotswolds, and headed for a hotel in London. This time we booked to go right over the other side to Kensington. Two reasons, 1, we saw the hotel we wanted at a very good price, and 2, there’re a few restaurants over there we wanted to go to.
I didn’t have massively high hopes for this particular hotel, but it was a very good price for 5 star, so we thought we’d give it a go. It’s not super luxury like The Savoy, but it was actually really really good. Even had some touches that we didn’t even get in The Savoy.
The room was beautifully decorated. The bathroom is exactly what I’d have at home.
The location was fantastic. And the finishing touches like make up remover and loofah pads were a nice touch.
Although the view from the window wasn’t amazing, we could see the towers of the Natural History Museum. One of my favourite buildings in the world.
We took ourselves off round there, hoping to get in. But of course everything is ticketed now, even free museums. We couldn’t go in, but we did sit in the grounds for a drink and snack.
What to wear for a sunny Friday in London…
Dress from Tesco, Shoes from Louis Vuitton, Bag from Goyard
I wanted something loose and free feeling. I like my bag to have as much possibility to fill as possible. Loose fitting clothes are the best. Plus a beautiful sunshiney. reddy/orange dress is a slight improvement from the baggy joggers I thought I’d be plagued with. :)
We had a very pleasant afternoon walking round the area. Taking in the buildings and the beauty.
…With a few more pit stops along the way.
We can walk when motivated. But we prefer pavements more than pathways. ;)
Then back to the hotel (The Ampersand, Kensington if you fancy a trip to London) to get ready for our night out.
We managed to get booked into Bluebird, a rather lovely Chelsea institution. It appears a lot in the programme Made In Chelsea. But our love of it by far predates that.
What to wear to Bluebird? Wear whatever the **** you like. Check the dress code if you must. But wear what makes you happy.
Dress from Reserved, Shoes from Jimmy Choo, Bag from Gucci.
I bought the dress just before the arse fell out of the world last year. So it’s been sitting in my wardrobe for 16 months, just waiting to fulfil its destiny.
It’s so comfortable. And a surprise it still fits really. It has got plenty of give in it.
The shoes are new, Chris bought them for me last week. He actually insisted. I’m not even joking. So who am I to refuse. :)
Bluebird was as wonderful as ever. The service is good. The food is fabulous. It’s just a really lovely place to go.
Our 25th wedding anniversary was spent in our living room, so we are making up for lost lockdown time by enjoying plenty of treats along the way.
In an ideal world I’d have been in India for our wedding anniversary, if it was my choice.
Sadly that treasure will have to wait.
We had a fabulous night out. I always do if I’m with Chris. He really is the light of my life.
And he’s very good at grounding me if I’m having a health anxiety wobble. Which is exactly what I have been having of late. I think my B12 is a bit low again. I get a bit anxious then.
We spent the Saturday day time exploring, just like you would do in the Cotswolds or the Yorkshire moors only this was in Harrods. Hahahahaha. Have you been to Harrods, the place is like a rabbit warren, walking we did!!
We soaked up the beautiful British summer weather. It’s summer so of course it’s raining.
I (we/Chris) bought me a new watch strap. I fancied an orange one but there was a 12 week wait on that so I got a rather beautiful red one.
I was able to use my Harrods clubcard points to pay for some of it. (Note to self, they don’t like it if you call them clubcard points in there) hahahaha
Chris bought himself a few bits and bobs and rightly so. :)
Then we headed back to the hotel to get ready for our night out.
Dress from Michael Kors, Shoes from Jimmy Choo, Bag from Valentino
We headed off to Sketch. I was hopeful that I wouldn’t throw up in my mouth like I did there last week. But then I felt the fact that I’d never in my life attempt to eat any part of a frog would mean I could pretty much guarantee I wouldn’t do that again.
We had drinks in The Glade first. Which was lovely.
Sketch is the name of the whole restaurant. But inside is about 3 or 4 different rooms to dine in.
We choose The Gallery, because the food is great. The decor is amazing, it’s like dining in a gallery would you believe. ;)
We had the best night. No sicking up frogs legs at the table is always a bonus
Our food was incredible! The service is outstanding. We know the Director of the gallery, he worked in a friend’s restaurant years ago. So he takes very good care of us.
So then comes Sunday. Chris was out entertaining clients at Goodwood Festival of Speed. I had booked a lovely Sunday lunch out with Kaitlyn and Ally.
What to wear, what to wear? Do you know what. I felt like taking it down a notch and paring it back, going casual but classy. Why I bothered I don’t know as it turned out.
I chose jeans, which come fraught with danger. But life is for living so why not. I minimise leak risk by undoing my button and zip as soon as I get to the table. This can get a bit tricky, because after a big Sunday roast it can be a bit problematic to do them back up.
Shirt from Gap, Jeans from Topshop, Shoes and Bag from Tod’s
Oh I looked adorable for a quiet Sunday lunch in a local pub. :)
I drove round to pick Kaitlyn up and I literally did a double take. Kaitlyn and Ben found this hilarious. My face hides nothing of what I’m thinking or feeling. I have a proper scary mum face. I’ve had years to perfect it. ;)
I then go round and pick Ally up. She is similarly dressed. But as I say all the time. You do you, wear what makes you happy…
And apparently dressing as the England squad made them very happy indeed…
In fairness I did buy them the very ‘patriotic’. Red, ‘white’ and blue cocktails.
Who doesn’t want a rum filled monstrosity with their Sunday lunch?
I didn’t offer my opinion on their choice of lunch wear. But I was asked my opinion, which I gave.
“You look like you’re dressed for a year 6, classmate’s football birthday party”.
You can take that as a positive or negative. It’s pretty open for interpretation. Hahahahaha
I do not follow the beautiful game. I dislike football immensely. I really dislike what it does to some people. (I used to date a bonafide football hooligan, not the best life choice I’ve ever made, I was young and stupid and if I’m honest a bit desperate. I’ve seen people at their worst all in the name of football. Oh and in my experience it’s not just young thugs, there were school teachers, civil servants and “respectable” office types in the group. You’d be very surprised what some people do for fun).
Some people really let the country down on Sunday night too. Mortifyingly so. But it certainly wasn’t the players on the pitch.
I do think this England football squad are the most admirable young men ever to play for their country.
I love their good works off the pitch. I know they are super talented on it. Clearly, they are as they took the national team the furthest the men’s squad has been since 1966.
(The women’s team have been in the final a few times since then, FYI).
But they are just good lads. Humanitarians, genuinely good people. They are heroes to me and I dislike their day job very very much.
The girls lucky tops didn’t work. But they had fun at the pub where I dropped them off, after lunch to watch telly’s nailed to trees, with plywood rain covers. Very rustic. Hahahahaha
I’m gutted there were no seats left on their table for me. ;)
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Speaking to a stoma user the other day I mentioned that I hate the fact that my stoma farts, loudly and unexpectedly. She said that she also hates this but her best friend has taken to saying to her ‘bless you’ after her stoma farts.
I loved that!! I’ve now adopted this in our house too. Chris has had great cause to say it over the last day or so, seeing as I have overdosed on Kellogg’s All Bran, and in a bit of bother now. Hahahahaha
Interesting fact; If you gorge on Kellogg’s all bran you will poo so much you’ll make your stoma bleed profusely
Not terribly helpful for the unbagged to know, I guess, but definitely something for me to remember in future :)
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See you next week. Keep well. Xx