First off, thank you so much for your lovely messages. I don’t get to see people reading this blog, so it can feel like I’m talking to myself. But I love receiving your messages and emails. It’s good to know my experiences can help other people.
I’m also rooting for you if you’re going through treatment at the moment. You are in my thoughts. xx
I am extremely happy with my life, I am very blessed to be utterly content. The reason for my contentment isn’t because I have a stoma as such, but I wouldn’t be here without it, so it’s definitely in the mix of reasons to be cheerful. :)
We had a busy few days last week doing what really matters - Having fun!
Friday was a wonderful day of family time. We went off to London to meet Milly, Sam and Zak, and Kaitlyn and Ben. The boys and their girls had arranged a day of fun in honour of Chris’s birthday.
But in addition to that it was like an early Christmas present to spend the day together.
It was beyond thoughtful. They really did put a lot of thought, effort and time into it too. Firstly they all took a day off work. Which I thought was really kind.
They really thought about things he’d love to do.
First stop was the Natural History Museum (a firm favourite of all of us), then on to Hamleys (another favourite) and then they booked lunch at a little Italian restaurant we used to go when the boys were younger (the fact they remembered it and knew Chris really liked it there was adorable), then onto the South Bank for the Christmas market.
It was a big itinerary. It was going to be a long day. As much as I looked forward to it, I do have to give it some thought.
What to wear (for leak proofness) rather than vanity, and how many stoma spares to take with me?
We didn’t take the car in this time. If the car is near by then I take loads of spares. I leave them in the car and just carry around the barest minimum.
But as the day was going to be travelling all over London then that didn’t work for us.
So in my bag I have 3 spare stoma bags, with Pre cut holes, removal spray, disposal bags (loads of them for many layers of bagging before binning, should the need arise), Ostomy air freshener, perfume (to use after air freshener) and wipes.
It’s a lot to take around with me. I find it a bit of a chore. I know that sounds silly, but it’s aggravating to have carry a bag round. That said I’d rather have plenty with me than not enough. :)
I chose this outfit because it’s warm, cosy, comfortable, with plenty of poo room. Plus hopefully it looked nice enough. ;)
Jumper from TK Maxx. Trousers from Next, Shoes from Christian Dior, Bag from Gucci
I felt that wearing very soft trousers was my best bet for potential leak prevention, and reducing the anxiety about potential leaks. Yes, I love my stoma life. But of course I’m not impervious to worry about leaking. I’m happy but I am human.
We are, as a society, squeamishness about poo, bums, toilets etc. It’s all very shameful and embarrassing, God knows why? We all poo, just some of you are less evolved and rather grim and still use bums to do so! hahahah
I don’t want to end up smelling. I’d find it extremely difficult to cope with. Day to day a stoma user doesn’t smell. Leaks are our nemesis.
So of course preventing leaks is high on my list of wants and desires, well, that and diamonds. Hahaha.
A woman of simple tastes as you can see.
First stop;
The Natural History Museum. This happens to be one of my favourite buildings in the world. It’s spectacularly beautiful. It just feels good to be there.
I’m not a great museum goer. I like some, but mainly I like the gift shop and the cafes.
I find the Science Museum an absolute snore-fest. In fact one time, after a particularly heavy session the previous night I had a sleep on a bench in there.
It’s fine, Chris was supervising the boys, no harm done. Well, apart from the trauma of your mum being asleep on a bench in a museum while the fumes of the previous nights exploits seeped from me.
And this is one of the many and various reasons why I no longer drink. :)
But the Natural History Museum is amazing! (And the carrot cake is one of the best I’ve had too. I have been to the museum just to pop in for the carrot cake at times).
This museum has something for everyone. Zak’s only 2 and a half and he loved it. Chris is 52 and he loved it just as much. ;)
And if you go over the Christmas period, the T-Rex is wearing his Christmas jumper. :)
The exhibits are wonderful. It’s a real feast for the eyes.
Zak is at a wonderful age where he drinks it all in, so it was lovely to see him in awe of it all.
It was then on to Hamleys for a bit of a sensory overload. It was must be very overwhelming for children. A bit like how I felt in Vegas! (A never to be repeated experience for me personally).
We had a lovely time. Zak chose some presents, a family tradition of ours.
We used to take the boys before Christmas when they were little. They’d get to choose something. So really it’s only right that Zak gets to as well.
We then had a look at “the lights”. Another family tradition. We’ve been to look at them every year since Chris and I have been together.
I think it’s safe to say, I cope with the early build up better than actual Christmas. And this year it’s been extra special because last year was such a wash out.
The South Bank Christmas market was really very good. Singing and dancing along with buskers and food glorious food.
We bid farewell to Sam, Milly and Zak as they left to catch their train home. Zak had been incredible all day. Such a little trooper. Not a single tear shed, just a beautiful smiley face all day.
We were both so happy that they came up for the day. it was very special.
Chris, Ben, Kaitlyn and I made a beeline to the carousel. Had to be done. :)
Then we all headed home, exhausted but elated. I had no bag issues with my stoma at all. Which is always a relief.
Then Saturday Chris and I headed back up to London for a walk round. A bit of final shopping. Then we made our way over to Kew Gardens, for Christmas at Kew.
I have wanted to go for years and years, but always remember too late and by then the tickets have sold out. I put my name down early this time by receiving their news letter. A little stroke of genius on my part. ;)
Skirt from Zara, Top from M&S, Tights from Tesco, Boots from Gucci.
It was a big ish day out. But I felt comfortable and confident that this outfit wouldn’t let me down.
Christmas at Kew did not disappoint. I didn’t really know what to expect but I was blown away by some of the contributor’s efforts.
The main greenhouse has a light and music show. It was incredible! I loved it all, but this really stood out.
If you’ve not been able to get tickets then it was on television on Tuesday night, so you might be able to find it on Catch Up.
We even got to meet Santa, who assured Chris that he still has time to redeem himself to get on the good boy list. :)
Sunday was a day of rest. We’ve had fun but we were both exhausted.
I used up all my wreathing bits and bobs. I made my biggest wreath attempt to date.
I made a big one for me and a normal size one for the vaccine centre I volunteer at. Spreading a little Christmas joy as I go.
I finished my door scaping. I tidied my she shed back to her former glory after this seasons wreathings have come to an end.
Gutted really. I don’t have any other crafting talents. I’m happy I found wreathing but sad it’s concentrated to 2 weeks of the year.
A chilled out day led to a very pleasant evening. We couldn’t find a film so I suggested reading. Usually I read just before I fall asleep at bedtime. But I keep forgetting where I’ve got to, so I thought it might be nice to read at least some of the book while I am still compos mentis.
I find reading very relaxing. And as I’m on a mission to prevent Christmas anxiety creeping in it’s a great idea.
It’s often a good way to step out of being bombarded by constant noise from the outside world.
Turn off the telly, the computer, the phone and just be still.
I am determined to keep a lid on anxiety this year. I recognise it’s something that happens but I want to keep it under control. It’s going quite well so far. I don’t have the results of the womb biopsy yet, but I’ve decided to assume it’s all fine. :)
I’ve spoken to quite a lot of people who also get very anxious around this time of year.
I think it’s perfectly normal. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of it.
I would just prefer not to let it get out of control this year.
For me, it starts with indigestion, which lasts from the end of November till the beginning of January.
It’s ridiculous.
But this year I have things in place to ease it. We have things to do and people to see.
My mum and dad and Ben are coming Christmas Day. As long as we legally can. (And probably so even if we legally can’t. I’ll just say we all work for the Tory party or something…and as I don’t plan to have any balloons this will work a treat. ;)
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I managed to get a cancellation for my tooth extraction. I think it was probably jolly lucky I only had less that 24 hours to think about it.
So yesterday was the big day. I was nearly hyperventilating by the time I got to the room.
My dentist and his team at Braintree Dental Studio are amazing. They talked me down, calmed me down, and got the job done.
It wasn’t a fun experience obviously. But it certainly wasn’t as bad as I had built it up to be. And the best news of all is. It’s done! It’s over!! No more agony of a dead, infected tooth for me.
I had struggled with, should I try and save it and have root canal treatment, or should I save the £1000 to £1300 for all that and have it removed to start with.
Then half of it sheared off last week so that solved that little dilemma.
Like a lamb to the slaughter…and other dramatic sayings.
I got myself dolled up and went for it! I was indeed very brave. (Unless you measure it against someone actually being brave, like going through chemo alone because of covid etc).
To those that moan about face masks, I can assure you they actually come in very handy. You wouldn’t know I was a bit bloodied and puffy under mine. :)
This is where you’ll find me for the next few days. Iced face, under a duvet. Trying to avoid complications. :)
I put my tooth under my pillow. And no money has been forth coming from the Tooth Fairy. I have a horrible feeling she wasn’t in the market for scrap metal, as it was mostly filling rather than tooth. Hahahahaha
If you are in a similar situation, please try not to worry. Nothing is ever as bad as we build it up to be. And although it’s not going to be good, it’s certainly not that bad. Xx