So a whole new decade has arrived, exciting? Always, a new year, and new start, that’s something to get excited about!
Not so much in the New Years resolutions sense though, I’m not a resolution type of gal, too scatty for remembering to stick to the arbitrary rules I’ve imposed upon myself.
Also, I’m a grown up, if I think there’s something I should or shouldn’t be doing I’d change it when I noticed it rather than wait till the new year.
I am excited to see what this year brings. Will I travel? Will we start the porch build? Will I eat less? Just a few thoughts I’m pondering right now, some more likely than others! Hahahahaha
I didn’t stay up for New Year’s Eve. Unless we’re at a party I see little point to sitting in the living room waiting for the clock to tick over, it literally does it every night, and therefore every day is a fresh new start, I don’t stay up and see the other days in. Hahahahaha I’m a right old grump aren’t I, but it’s not actually a negative feeling, I just get excited and happy about every day I’ve been given.
Since I gave up alcohol over 3 years ago I find less pleasure in parties it’s true. I enjoy the beginning, but by the time everyone else is absolutely s***faced, l’m done.
I used to believe that alcohol made me an absolute scream to be with, since giving up I’ve come to the conclusion I was probably a bit of a d***head! Hahahahaha
So my New Year’s Eve was spent with a nice lunch out, an evening dip in the hot tub and an early night with my most favourite human (or one of them at the very least, I’ve got children and a grandchild, but you know what I mean).
I feel very fortunate, I have a brain that although is highly strung (my mind can be very cruel with the thoughts it’s comes up with) I’m very content, I also don’t believe in rules, some people love rules, I have friends that are passionate about rules. But I don’t live by any particularly, I mean I believe in laws, I wasn’t promoting anarchy or anything. I just don’t believe in self imposed rules and fixtures.
Which leaves me free to do as I please. It’s really very handy, and a huge blessing.
Do what makes you happy.
So New Year’s Day Chris and I were up at the crack of dawn, actually that’s not true, it must have been before dawn as it was dark still, a bit of a clue it hadn’t done the dawning bit yet. Hahahahaha
We headed to Bicester village (an outlet shopping center in Oxfordshire, 2 hours drive from us. In my opinion, and after extensive research on my part - Britain’s finest outlet village).
Bright and early we headed there to get ahead of the crowds. I swapped over a pair of slippers Chris bought me for Christmas to the right size, bought a couple of dresses, some boots and a note book, had lunch and a further mooch round and then came home again, shopping complete, heart content.
It was here that I thought I’ve probably got enough stuff now, yes, you heard me correctly I Suzanne Doré have got enough stuff!!
So I’ve made a decision to cut back (I can hear some of you laughing from here, so rude! Hahahahaha).
I walked into my dressing room and decided if I can’t find an outfit to wear in there then there’s something seriously wrong with me.
I can surely manage to dress well despite and in spite of having a stoma to cater for with what I already have.
We’ll see, but my thinking is if I can cut back on clothing (the clothing/fashion industry accounts for 8% of global warming, and it’s even higher for high end and fast fashion) I can still do the things I love to do like holidays (flying accounts for 5%).
I’m not likely to become a soap dodging eco warrior any time soon but every little helps as they say (well Tesco does anyway). :)
Top from H&M, Leggings from an independent shop in Colchester, Boots from Kurt Geiger.
I decided to put clothes on, real ones this time. I’ve been living in my comfies, my softies - my track suits and leggings for two weeks as we’ve not been out and about much.
Chris is in construction and has 2 weeks off at Christmas.
I’ve had little to no gut ache, now it could be down to loose clothing, or it could be the seed mix (D Mix) I’ve been eating after each meal. Who knows, all I know is I’ve been comfortable in my belly, so I’m a very happy bunny right now.
Coat from Ralph Lauren, Bag from Goyard.
I’ve been slowly introducing proper clothes back into daily life. Although I do wear a lot of dresses in general, which does making stoma life easier anyway.
That leather look dress I bought from Primark I a while back has been fantastic! I wore it to brunch with a friend on Saturday and afternoon tea with a friend the other day. It’s so comfortable and easy to wear and wash. It’s my new favourite! I wish I’d bought 2 now (can’t buy more now as I’m cutting back, I’m not about that shopping in abundance life anymore) as I think I’ll wear it out at this rate.
Sunday was Chris’s last day at home for the holidays, we made the most of it with breakfast out.
Coat from Ralph Lauren, Top from Benetton, Trousers from Next, Boots from Karl Lagerfeld, Bag from Tods.
Eating food in tight and restrictive clothing is a risk. I’d say it’s definitely not advisable for any one new to stoma life.
I’m an old hand at my colostomy but even I don’t know when I get dressed in the morning whether it will leak or not.
Would I be bothered if it did? I’d love to say no I’d be fine about it but I know that would be a lie, I’d be mortified, utterly crushed.
But, and this but is huge…no not mine you cheeky sod!…BUT people with normal bottoms have accidents too, it’s something I need to remember if I have a leak.
Now, either way it’s a horrendous incident, but in my heart I think there would be far more sympathy (not exactly the right word), understanding maybe, even though there is less general comprehension about stomas, I still think people would be less harsh to judge if I say “oh my colostomy has just leaked” than if I was to say “oh I’ve just poo-ed myself”.
Humans are funny creatures, pooing your pants (underwear) is a huge taboo. It’s just drummed into us from babyhood and beyond that pooing pants (underwear) bad - pooing on potty good.
I mean for pretty good reason of course, it’s far more hygienic to poo in the designated area, but at no point along the line of life did anyone ever say to me “oh you know what, sometimes , on occasion it’s been known for human adults to poo themselves, during tummy bugs, bowel diseases or during child birth for example”. Nope, nothing, very few people talk openly about poo for it to be un-taboo.
So something that isn’t the person’s fault and more frustratingly, beyond their control is in adult life a huge shameful secret.
So for me, being open and honest about my colostomy is important. Let’s bring all bodily functions to the fore and stop being silly about poo.
The more openly we talk about bowel function the less likely people are to suffer in silence. And although my cancer wasn’t picked up early (nothing to do with me, I was reporting the problems I was having to my GP, they just weren’t picking up on the element of danger I was in because I was “too young” for cancer (oh purleeease!!) If people have cells then they can develop cancer at any age, simple as that!) we could catch more cancers earlier with open and frank discussion about poo, couple that with GPs that diagnose on symptoms rather than age brackets we could stop bowel cancer in its tracks for the most part (not all, I appreciate some are symptomless and aggressive).
So off I went Sunday with tight trousers on, because I want to, because it made me happy and because I was prepared for leaks should it occur. Thankfully it didn’t, in part due to the fact that a) I got lucky and b) there’s a side zip on these trousers that I unzipped to eat in.
I spent the whole day in them with no incidents at all.
Then it was back home to the hot tub in the garden to relax for the last evening of the holidays…
…it wasn’t quite as relaxing as planned due to the bathroom springing a leak and pouring water through the light fitting into the kitchen and blowing the power out in the house. Hahahahaha
All solved now…we think. Dan dan daaaaaaa…another exciting thing to add to the list! Hahahahaha
Monday morning, I took myself off for one of my bike rides, I’m not fast, I don’t go far, but I go nonetheless.
On my way out on my ride I saw a tyre swing and thought I really fancy a go on that, but I carried on my ride. I saw it again on my way back home and like the grown up I am I rode past it…then I thought I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and I won’t have done something that would have made me happy and for what? To conform to adult norms?!? Nah!!
So I rode back, had a look to see if anyone was around and…
It felt wonderful. Very freeing. It was a bit tricky to get on it, but once I was it was fine. :)
My best and only advice for life is do what makes you happy.
My daughter in law (to be), Kaitlyn saw it on my Instagram Stories and said I was a crazy for going on it as she and friend had walked past it a few days prior apparently and decided against giving it a go as the rope looked somewhat dubious.
Got to be honest, I didn’t think to check, but if it held my weight it definitely would have taken hers! Hahahahaha